Dragon,
No thanks required. You obviously understood my intent. I know it is not always as easy as a walk on a bridge, but the simple things that I could do no matter how much pain I felt or how tired I was always seemed to lighten my load as long as I was careful.
If you need a pillar to lean on you should know that I'm her for you.
Take care of you.

Mike

Mike
Thank you so much and I might just take you up on that pillar thing. A few day's after my dad's friend's funeral I found out that another friend of the famialy's daughter died. We have to go to the funeral tommorow. They don't know what she died of she just died in her sleep. which really scares me because it seem's so real and after my mom's surgery I remember thinking that could happen to her and now with this thing it bring's all the old fear back. I know I must sound like a complete baby but, I can't help it. I know that I should remember that this is not about me and I feel really bad everytime I think of me instead of someone else but we all do it dont we. I alway's go on and on sorry I guess I don't know when to stop thinking. :)Thank you so much for you'r caring responses and I am sure that your famialy appreicate your love even when you do the simple thing's i know I am really happy with the amount of love my mom puts in to everything espeically simple things.
Dragon

PS: I know I know I am running on

Dragon,
Feel free to run on and on. Sometimes putting your thoughts down in front of you so that you can see them will help you understand your emotions, pain, anger and fear. No matter how disjointed they seem keep doing it. It's a puzzle and the pieces will start to fit together. I a little farther ahead of you in my puzzle and don't mind helping you where some of the pieces fit in. I also learn from you.
Keep running on it is helpful and much better than letting all the thoughts spin around until your head is so full that you can't think.
Kepp it coming.
Take care my friend.
Mike

Mike
Thank you I guess I have been holding this kind of thing in for so long that now I find out that there was 900 peices missing out of a 1000piece puzzle (chuckle I like the metaphor). It is really hard to see the right place for a feeling/piece when all you see is the same color on every peice. But thank's to this site and the people on it I am starting to figure my black,white, and grey areas out. I am really happy to here that you can take something out of my experince as well. It make's me feel less like I am drolling on and more like I am sharing something with friend's, so Thank You very much. In a way there are too many peices that we don't understand alone so we all need somebody to show us the corner's every now and again. I will try to keep talking about things and not let them get so muddeled anymore.
as always thank's for the awesome reply.
sincerly,
A Very Gratful Dragon