So around one year ago I found this site, My Huband had been diagnosed with "the tongue cancer". We got through it with God and perserverance. I have been waiting for the next shoe to drop (a little pessimistic-I know) well it did. Erik is fine right now, but my mom is currently being diagnosed with "the cancer" She will be having a tonsillectomy on Feb 5th. It was an accidental finding. Dentist saw a white spot, she had a CAT and we went in to an ENT and saw a Physicians Assistant, who told us, "no big deal, these are a dime a dozen." Well the actual doc looked at her CAT about a week after the PA had seen her, and they called her back in. Apparently she has a tumor in the other tonsil. We went in and saw the ENT, and he scheduled surgery with urgency. AAAK Ive walked this walk already. His words were almost identical to what we heard when Erik was diagnosed. "It looks alot like cancer, but of course we cant be sure until we biopsy." My mom is 52 years old, a smoker for 37 years, has no insurance (working on getting state aid though) and needless to say Im a bit frustrated. I am her only child, she is not married and so I get to be her caretaker. We are awaiting her chest x-ray, the doc said that the tonsil may not be the primary tumor, and that he was concerned with her lungs. I dont know exactly what that meant, but I can de-code it a bit. My other worry is that I dont want her to lose her house, but Im not sure how to go about all of this.
The good part in all of this is that the doctor told her he wouldnt touch her if she didnt quit smoking. And that there wasnt an oncologist who would take this on with any agression, if she didnt quit smoking. So she is quitting on Monday. Anyway, this is the road I've been put on, once again God and perserverance will get me through@
Jennie

Jennie, you have had a lot on your plate lately. I need medication just reading your post. Remember you are not superwomen please ask for help. Vent here regularly because you have to take care of yourself too.
Taking a chest X-ray is completly normal as part of the staging process. I feel your situation and I am your biggest supporter.Don't ever be afraid to admit that you feel beaten down and when you do We'll be here for a big group hug to get you thru.

jennie,

On the brighter side you are an experienced caregiver and you will be much more prepared to help your mom and much more prepared to handle what will be thrown at you.

Jennie,

You and your family are in my prayers. I know you will be an outstanding caregiver to your Mom. You come with experience.

Why do you think she would lose her house?

The reason I am worried about her losing her house is because she is going to have to be on state aid, I dont know if they will allow you to have any "collateral" she outright owns the house. Am I wrong in my thinking?
Jennie

In most states, they cannot touch your primary residence, but you definitely need to see a lawyer or law clinic asap if you are concerned.

Jennie, The only thing I hate playing more than a DR. is a Lawyer. But I believe what you are thinking about is when someone goes into a long term care facility.
Always, Mark D.

Jennie,

I agree...get with a family practice lawyer ASAP to be sure. Let us know what they tell you.

Tim

I agree with everyone, you need to see a lawyer or someone who deals with Medicaid planning which I am doing in April, but that won't help you now. The only thing Mom's non medicaid lawyer said was 'NEVER tell Medicaid she doesn't plan to return to the house, even if she is in a coma and on life support. As long as she intends to return, they can't touch the house.' I did find some interesting stuff on the rules for Florida by searching the web. Every state is different so you might try that.

Take care,
Eileen