Anyone else sick & tired of coughing, choking & sometimes sneezing in the middle of trying to eat? Eating has become such a chore that I'm not all that excited about it & actually skip meals which doesn't help with the weight gain, I've actually gone backwards a couple of lbs. lately. Tired of eating the same foods, although I can eat everthing now, it's just such hard work to wash it down & choke, etc. Guess I'm just having a low spot mentally. I've been back to work some lately, picking & choosing what I do. Being self employed I can do that. I'm confused about what I should do for a living, go back to what I was doing before or go in a different direction. I'm rambling, sorry. Feeling kinda lost lately. I think I'd go crazy without these boards to read. This damn disease makes you look at everything so differently its hard to sort out whats important & whats trivial in the new life.

hey Erik,

good to hear that you can eat everything again.

i couldn't eat for quite awhile... when it started back, my experience was like yours. for me the musles needed to be strengthened and got that way by continued use. i also needed to learn how to eat food effectively... like sometimes i will chew a normal sized bit of beef. however to save time and energy, i also will use my knife and fork to cut it down to tiny pieces that i don't have to chew so much.

you're on the right track, stay with it!!

cu,
larryb

Hi Erik,
Reading your post made me feel like I was reading my own writing. I have felt and still have moments of feeling just as you described. I'm a year out from treatment so I have left the "tougher" days behind me, but I still wallow a bit now and again. Eating will get better Erik, of that I can assure you. You are only a few months out of radiation so give it some time. What gets me through the process of eating is melted cheese believe it or not. I put cheese on everything............steak, chicken, you name it. A nice Rib Eye, cooked medium well on the grill, smothered in Colby and Jack cheese is pretty easy for me to eat. A broccoli casserole with lots of swiss is a breeze, and nachos smothered in Jack, mild salsa and refried beans is a great late night snack. Be patient and your menu will grow, you will learn "tricks of the trade" and gain enough knowledge on it to write your own book. Eating will become a pleasure again........never the same but still something to look forward to. My goal was to be able to eat AND read a book (I'm an avid reader and always, always read while I ate my meals)I'm happy to report that I can eat an entire meal WHILE READING Look at me, I used to always be a few pounds underweight, now my husband went out and bought a treadmill...........I think it's a hint!! Joking but I do get on the treadmill now, I've gained back the weight treatment stole from me and the weight fairy brought me an extra 18 pounds!
Take care,
Minnie

Hi Erik
Glad you can eat anything, just remember how far you have come, go back and read some of your own earlier posts, I'm sure that will help with your perspective of now. :rolleyes:
Sunshine...love and hugs
Helen

Erik,

Even at 9 months I experience everything you are right now. I have warned people not to sit in front of me when I am eating because I just don't know when the body will use the sneeze reflex to clear my throat. Sitting in front of an air conditioning vent fries my throat at church. I have felt so good this week that I developed an illusion that life is back to "normal". Then after dinner last night, my throat started hurting and today I can barely talk or swallow. I have to admit it has been several weeks since my throat hurt and the swallowing, talking thing has happened. I was just discouraged from it, nonetheless.

I also share your sentiments on the work thing. I don't have the same drive of putting in the hours I used to and I want to spend nights with my family. I have traveled a lot since about 1999 for work and I just don't want that to be the only option right now. As hard as I have been looking for something, though, I may not have a choice.

Take care and be patient. It does take time.

Your lost brother,

Ed

Hi Erik,
when they talk about the "club that no one wants to join" what you are going through is a condition of membership. I'm self employed too - I had to be very selective about who I went to luch with for a long time. At least I didn't have them sit directly across from me.

Just imagine the Isrealites wandering aimlessly in the desert for over 40 years eating manna (which didn't taste so hot I am told -probably made by the same folks that gave us Ensure ;-) looking for the Promised Land. Your journey will be MUCH quicker!

You are right on schedule for the depression phase of this adventure also.

We've all been there. Be patient it'll get better.

Why does this thing do that??
Anyway, I find that the best way for me to get anything down is if I have a book in front of me. I don't want to eat in company, even in front of my husband, because I don't want to gross him out. I just spoon the soup in very slowly, follow every spoonful with water, and take my time. Reading seems to distract me and my throat some, I don't cough as much.
Maybe watching TV or listening to music would help, too.
Just a suggestion, it may not work for others.
Leena

Hey Erik,
My husband, Dan, has the same problems. He is 4 months post radiation and can eat different things now, but he has no taste buds so the desire to eat is really not there. I try and get him to eat more all the time but he says I should try eating cardboard that gets stuck in the throat and makes one cough and gag. I hope you and Dan will soon be able to taste and eat without so much trouble. Even though I see him go thru this everyday, I can't imagine what it's like inside to feel all these different things. You are in my prayers!
Debbie

Erik,
My husband was also doing the coughing, gagging thing when he was at your point post treatment. But now he hardly ever goes through all that while eating. (Oddly enough, milkshakes are still one of the foods that send him into coughing fits.)

Things will get better!

Anita

ha i have the same problem and iam still on liquids i understand what your going through just think about how far you have come

take care you give me hope

clint