#2500 05-20-2004 12:31 AM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 | I am very sorry, and I would like to apologize to each and everyone of you for my latest post. It was out of line and unexceptable and I should not have said thoughs things. I still have good days and bad days, since my father died and yesterday was one my bad days, so out of anger over everything I said things on here that I should not have, but that is no excuse, I should not have done that. Please except my apologie, I am very sorry. Thank you, Packer66 Littlegirl. | | |
#2501 05-20-2004 03:29 AM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 116 Gold Member (100+ posts) | Gold Member (100+ posts) Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 116 | Dear Packer66 Littlegirl;
I've been away for a while trying to deal with my husband's death. Coping with the death of someone I love so much takes an incredible amount of strength. I've experienced all kinds of emotions--anger being one of them and right there under the surface--but essentially, I've had to work hard to conduct myself with grace and dignity through all that has happened. I don't want Scott's passing to fill me with darkness no matter how sad and angry and lonely I may be; I want his memories to fill me with light and love as he himself did when he was with me.
We're all hurting here, in some way, and we do understand how easy it is sometimes to lash out in anger. Your apology, above, was the appropriate response. Let your dad's memory and love fill your heart with light, and maybe the bad days won't seem quite as bad. Sometimes I think of my Scott and what he would want me to do; I imagine his hand on my shoulder, softly reassuring and guiding me. It's how I get through each day.
Love, Christine
Wife of Scott: SCC, Stage I retromolar 10/02--33 rad; recurrence 10/03--Docetaxol, 5FU, Cisplatin; 1/04 radical right neck, hard palate, right tonsil; recurrence 2/04--mets to skin and neck; Xeloda and palliative care 3/04-4/04; died 5/01/04.
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#2502 05-20-2004 05:04 AM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: May 2003 Posts: 33 | Christine, thank you, what you wrote was wonderful. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, stay strong as I will do the same. Each day does get a little easier, but I still have my bad days like when I see his picture or when I talk to my brother, my dad and my brother look and sound so much alike, so it is hard, I do feel anger over this disease and how many people get very sick or even die from it. I do have to try and control my anger and not lash out at people no matter how hard or tempting it may be. Thank you Christine. Love Packer66 Littlegirl | | |
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