I just have to share this with you all! Yesterday my brother asked my hubby if he wanted to go to the Steeler camp in Pittsburgh today, My husband is a avid Steeler fan. He said yes, I was so surprised , as its an 1 1/2 hour ride to camp. This is the first time I have seen my husband so excited in a long long time and a bit of the old Tom came shining through. So they left at 2:00 p.m. this afternoon all dressed in their Steeler garb. I am so happy for him but a nervous wreck!! I packed him off with several bottles of water, a hat and a grin on his face that I haven't seen in a while.( now this is the first major outing since January!!) and he is still so very tired. I have to admit, when thay drove off I had tears in my eyes. Thank you Lord!!

Ladyjoe, Just read your post, and it gave me goosbumps and a smile. Praying that your husband had a great day today. I am a Steeler fan also. I live about an hour and a half south of Pitts. Sure is hot today, but I'm sure he is enjoying himself. He is so lucky to have a special woman like you to be his wife and caregiver. I don't know how you cargivers do this, and I don't know how we would get along without you....Have a great day! Linda

That's great and just what he needs to do. I hope he has a marvelous day. Now it is time for the TWO of you to go do something both of you enjoy together even if it is only watching the sunset or sitting on the beach. You need to smile too.

Take care,
Eileen

Hubby had a great time at the Steeler camp. came home around 10:30p.m. he was a little shaky, exhausted and threw-up(think it ws the heat) He said it was worth it and the day was priceless!!! Another first- today I asked what he would like to eat for dinner and he said how about going out to eat. I was pleasantly surprised, I said sure , so out we went and he even left his spit cup in the car. Wonders never cease! He could not of done all this 10 days ago. I think yesterday gave him some confidence and knowing he just mite be on the home stretch...It takes patience and one day at a time.(something he wouldn't even hear about in the past weeks )I am in awe of how our body heals and survives.

I can't believe I haven't posted in a week. Hubby was a bit depressed the last 4 days, don't know why, but yesterday he seemed to come out of it. I guess I am expecting to much to soon and He wants me to back off a bit.(we had a very good discussion!!) I almost feel we are back in the first months. He did go to lunch with me today, which was wonderful. His hair is starting to grow back especially his facial hair. He is trying new foods, still on the peg, but I just can't keep forcing him... or so he tells me. Still exhausted, sleeping 4-5 hrs per day. we are now 8 wks post treatment. Talks to his office almost everyday but has not gone in to work yet. I don't know if it is his looks, or his voice, which is stil a bit raspy that is making him hestitant about going in to his office. I guess all things in its own time. Keeping you all in my prayers. LJ

Backing off is perhaps the hardest thing a care giver has to do.I used to feel if i took my eye off the ball for one moment it would all go wrong.Try to compromise by saying "i will back off if you will do ....." and make him feel that you hear what he says while also making him hear your concerns.

Hi, LJ, I think that sleeping during the day at 8 weeks post tx. is pretty normal and it would not be surprising for that to continue for awhile. Along with the physical strain your husband has dealt with since this started, there has been a hugh emotional toll on him [and you] which is also exhausting. The fact that he is asking for some more time to recoup [i.e.asking you to back off a little] is good. He has lots of things to sort out for himself as do you. If he is beginning to feel better, hopefull you can use this time to get some rest and recouperation for yourself. Amy in the Ozarks

Thanks ladies, good advice, sometime hard to follow through.(but I am trying) I went to our family reunion today with my brother and his family(hubby encouraged me to go) and although I was worried he was home and had to do a few feedings on his own he did fine. He even asked me about the day, so that was good. As they say.. letting go is hard to do...

We went to our PCP yesterday and everything was good. Tom lost 5 lbs. but Dr. wasn't concerned as we are trying to wean off the peg tube. We are down to 3 cans a day. We actually went out for breakfast and it was enjoyable. (I remember a time when I thought we would never eat out again) then my husband said he was going to go into his office for a visit. I was thriled. He hasn't been there since May. But he was showered, shaved and actually looked pretty good so I think that made him feel better. He stayed about and hour and a half, but said a few people didn't recogonize him. Well, I told him they haven't seen you in a few months and lets be honest you do look a bit different.(thinner, no hair, and no energy) But he said he got lots of hugs and well wishes, I think that was good for him. As for today he is beat. He asked for a Mcdonalds hamburger and fries, his first since March. He said it was ok, and ate half but hey we will take it. So one more day in this long struggle to get back to some kind of normalcy.

That is great news LJ. Tell him I am thrilled for him and I will call soon.

Billy