What a difference a week makes! Last Friday they wanted us to go the hospital and he wasn't eating. and now... He ate chicken, rice and applesauce today with a glass of sweet tea! This is the first day since the end of March that I actually cooked a meal and we sat at the table together to eat. I had tears in my eyes as I told him sometimes I thought we would never get to this point and he said me too! I encouraged him to try some sweet tea to drink as so many here said it tasted good to them post treatments. He did and he liked it. This is such an emotional roller coaster. And the ride goes on....

WE had a good week-end. Hubby eating a little more each day. In fact we have cut out the 4:30p.m.feeding and are actually sitting down to a dinner. Its just difficlut to decide on what he wants to eat and can eat. But I am willing to try and make anything his heart desires. He even came with me to my Mom's yesterday for dinner. It was haert warming to see him sit at the table. He ate a bit of roast and a whole baked potatoe. Amazing how each day makes such a difference. He is stil very tired but seems to be staying up later each evening.

How encouraging!! Thanks for sharing the good news!!

How's he doing emotionally? My husband is taking a dip in that department but we are finally in week 5 of treatments and I think we are starting to see a light at the end of the part of theetunnel. This hospital stuff is getting old.

All the best,

Margaret, this was the hardest part for me. I told my husband he was in denial!! From the 4wk point to the very last wk. my husband was an emotional wreck. I begged for him to talk to someone or to get some meds for depresion. He said he didn't need anything. I think I cried the whole month of April.It was the beginning of May that I sought out a support group at our Dr. office. Best thing I could of done for myself. It helped me to understand what he was going through and to get a grip on my own emotions. I missed my husband. He wasn't interested in anything or anyone. There was even 1 week when he wouldn't even talk to our kids on the phone.(One is in Va. and the other in Ohio) He was so weak and could of cared less. That was the frightening part. I will say it does get better but we had a few dark weeks. If it wasn't for my parents and my friends and of course this forum I don't think I would have been able to get through this. I noticed on a diffrent post you were asking about making your husband walk and do things. I tried that. Then I just stopped and even with forcing the food. I had to let go for a few weeks. I was worried but he did make it through. Hang in there, your doing a good job with him. WE are here for you. take care.LJ

We seem to be holding our own here. Hubby is eating dinner each nite. Even asked for Kielbasi last nite! I was shocked but I made it for him. He loved it, even added mustard on it. He said next week he would like to try some sourkraut or horsradish with it. It amazes me. His mornings are still a little slow and rough for him to get going. I am wondering if it is the roxiciet he is still on. He has cut down to a dose at 6 and 10 p.m. So hoping he can eventually cut that out too.

Wow, Lady Joe, it seems like everytime I check in on one of your posts, seems keep getting better and better. I'm so encouraged by your latest post.

We're in week 5, and it is hard. Dan took a dip emotionally over the weekend, but his medical team boosted him up on Monday and he is doing much better now on that front.

Although, now he is battling thrush and getting his pain meds right is hard as his pain seems to be a moving target.

Your posts show me there is definitely a glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel. Kielbasa? Sourkraut, Horseradish? You mean there is a life after soft noodles and protein drinks? That is a great thing to know!

I'm glad your hubby is doing well. I hope you keep posting, it really helps me see beyond the day to day of this horrible treatment process.

Margaret, One day at a time. Yesterday was a down day for him, he slept like 5 hrs during the afternoon, he said his face was hurting him and his neck. I told him, you are using muscels in your face and neck you haven't used in almost 12 weeks by chewing and drinking everyday when you are eating dinner. Especially on the rt. side where his ND was. He just looks at me. But it does make sense. This morning he feels better. So we will see what the rest of the week-end brings. I can't even think back to week 5 as April and May were very hard on us. But...you do make it through. The sun comes up tomorrow wether we want it to or not! Thank goodness. Praying for all. LJ

LJ,

Now that we have the weekend "off" and have 23 RT days checked off the calendar, I feel like we are hitting the home stretch.

I've read enough here to know that the road to recovery is filled with it's own thorns. But, when I look at what my husband is consuming now...I get great encouragement out of reading your posts about a return to some normalcy.

I feel bad for my husband in that things still smell good, but nothing tastes or feels good in his mouth. I read him the post you wrote about what your husband was eating and planning to eat...and, it helped us both stay focused on the fact that there is a future beyond this treatment phase.

I heard it takes a long time to get your energy back after radiation. I think I have read here and heard from our CCC that it takes about 1 month for each week of radiation.

I think it will take me a long time to get my energy back too. This has been an exhausting time for me as well. This last week was the worst...thrush added some new dimensions to his pain that really took us off guard. And, both of my kids got sick...nausea, 103 degree fevers.

Were you exhausted at times during this process? Sometimes I feel guilty admitting that because Dan is enduring so much on so many fronts. But I don't ever remember being so worn out.

I think your explanation of pain makes sense. My husband can get some runny scrambled eggs and cream soup down...but, he hasn't "chewed" anything in a long time.

I hope your hubby continues to have more good days than bad. And, I hope you are recovering from this experience as well.

Dear Margaret, Being exhausted is part of the experience. Not only are you a Mom and running the household, you are now a nurse,plus you have the added stress factor of an internalized fear and anxiety about this disease. I'm sure you've heard this over and over, but trying to care of Yourself is also very important[ we all know it's also very hard to do}. Amy in the Ozarks

Dear Margaret,

What a challenge to take care of two children and to be a CG to your husband! I have only completed two weeks of treatment with my husband (and it has gone ok except for a few days) but I have been exhausted a good part of the time. I agree with Amy that being a CG is demanding in terms of time and managing both the expected and the unexpected but when you add in the stress and worry it is often exhausting. Plus, there's no real "endpoint" as completing treatment is one milestone, but then the recovery process with its unpredictable path is next ... I'm new to this board and I am in awe of what I have read on this board about the bravery, compassion, dedication, and persistence of both those with SCC and their CGs. I hope I can do as good a job as so many of you but I know that there will be some days when I wonder what I am doing in this life!