Dear LJ, in my experience, being a caregiver meant reaching deep for grit and determination AND gritting my teeth alot! [on many occasions, I also spent time on our deck counting to 100 before going back in the house. Hang in there. Amy in the Ozarks

ok, had our treatment of Carbo on Monday. Yesterday was a night mare. I think he got every side effect there was. We were up all nite. His bp was 75/55 of course wouldnt go to the Er. He is achy, joint pain, throat sore and just plain miserable and feels like a truck hit him. I am almost ready to tell him thats it. no more reatments. I don't know how much more he can take. I thought this treatment would be a bit milder but it wsn't for him. On the postitive side he has had no nausua or vomiting which was horrible on the Cisplastin. I guess I am just ready to be done with this all. Thanks for listening.

Dear LJ, his symptoms sound more like a major flu bug rather than a Carbo reaction to me.[I might get really bombarded for that statement] but I am just relating to John's Carbo\Taxol infusions, which were not very bad. Certainly your hubby has really been through alot and is probably pretty worn down. I hope he will not give up yet. By the way, in an attempt to add a little levity here, I was a "vitals chart" overachiever- took and recorded John's blood pressure and temp.3 times a day for the 1st yr. until his Docs told me to QUIT-. They informed us that his bloodpresure would be usually be below a normal range after radiation or while he was on chemo and we only needed to take it once daily at a routine time unless something was going amiss. A person going through radiation or chemo is supposed to feel bad- caregivers are naturally inclined to fight that [usually with both hands tied behind our backs] so we are in a tough spot. Hoping this gets better for both of you soon. Amy in the Ozarks

Amy, Thanks for your words.
they help to ease my mind a bit. I am only going to take his BP once a day now. I know every litle thing worries me about him. It just breaks my heart to see him so miserable and there is not a darn thing I can do for him. I only hope and pray each day will get better. I keep telling him the worst is behind you but when you feel like this, its hard to believe. Hanging in there. Thanks LJ

What a long week it has been! I think he finally turned the corner late last evening. Feels a bit better. Did 't think this treatment would be so hard on him. He doesn't know if he wants to continue on with the last 2 chemo tratments. I told him it is his call. He is scheduled for a pet scan on July 6. So he just want to wait till then. I am so weary that is the best way to describe how I feel. Hopeing for a good day.

Dear LJ, Good to hear that he had a good evening! I know you are exhausted-watching someone you love suffering is exhausting in itself, not to mention the stain of the anxiety you are feeling.
Can you try to increase your "down or sleep time" by 30 min to an hour longer for the next few weeks- it might make a big diffenence in your energy level. It's gonna be awhile before he feels appreciably better so you both are gonna have to keep fighting this beast. Amy in the Oz

Jam, thanks for the encouragement. Thank goodness I have good friends I can talk to and this forum also. Wouldn't get through this otherwise. I would say he feels 5% better today. I will take that! He still doesn't take anything by mouth. He was before this last chemo so its been 8 days since he has tried anything. That worries me but I am backing off and giving him some space. He just doesn't feel he will get better and I told him he will. It just takes time. He still has so much mucous. Its been 7 wks since our last rad. so I thought for sure this flem stuff would go away. But one thing this forum has taught me is that everyone is different and reacts diffeenty to their treatments. So we're still hanging on...

ok another day... it seems each day is like a week! Hubby seems to be complaining about an ear ache. Only the outside of his ear hurts. I gave him a heating pad you place in the microwave to lay on and it seemed to help for a bit. I don't know. One thing goes away and another creeps up. But.... he did empty the garbage this morning and sit on the patio for 10 min. so that a good thing as he hasn't been outside since his last chemo on the 11th of June. I guess I am trying to look for anything that gives me some encouragemnt. Thanks for listening.

LJ,

Recovery is a slow process and remember each of us can be different and he still has chemo running through his beat up body so just go with his flow. Believe me HE more than YOU wants this nightmare to end and as soon as he feels better he will let you know. I remember waking up one morning and I just could tell something was better. Not jump on my bike better but a slight improvement. I just felt that I had finally walked out of the tunnel and it slowly got better from then on.

We all share your frustration but just hang in there until it happens to him.

Or you can just shoot him right now and be done with it. LOL

Oh and when he does start to feel better remember that he will still have days that he will think he's going backwards but that's normal to. Those backward days diminish as time goes forward.

Thanks, you made me smile. Believe me there are day when I could shoot him! I just feel so darn helpless. Each day feels like a week. I am off for the summer now so the day really goes slow. But I am grateful for each day. I ask if he feels better and he says no, do you feel any worse and he say no. so at least we are keeping steady. I try to explain to him what his body has been through, and this all takes time.He said maybe some month I will start to feel better. o.k. ...Looking forward to tomorrow!