If it's any consolation, and I'm sure it probably isn't, I'm ALREADY at the stage of 'small bites', without having even got diagnosis or treatment yet! The tumour (that much diagnosed) is in my jaw-bone and can barely open mouth and swallowing hurts--also am a denture wearer! Had 3 years of frustration trying to get dad to eat--cooked tiny, chopped up casseroles, mashed fish (which he didn't like anyway!)and 'treats' of individual trifles, ice-cream etc.--but as Amy says, a lot gets thrown!
Am pleased with myself today as 24 hours after biopsy and in more pain, have managed chopped up strawberries and cream, some soft beef, mash and gravy and a few beans with bites of hot-dog sausage--and 2 glasses full-fat milk! Was skinny before I got sick!
And David, I'm sure alcohol and fags don't help in the long-term, but they do remind us we can still swallow SOMETHING we like!!
Brenda

I feel for all of us! Today when I came home from work Tom was actually in the backyard. I was shocked, As this is the first effort I have seen.. I had tears in my eyes! This is a SLOW process, I am always asking him What do you want?
Today is 3 wks. post treatments!!

Lj, maybe instead of asking "what do you want?", you might try "what might feel good today?" Just a subtle difference there. Amy in the Ozarks

Thanks JAM I will try that. He did eat a few spoonfuls of a baked sweet potatoe today. actually drove himself to the store today while I was at work. so that is another step in the right direction.

Baked sweet potatoes-yum-now if you could mash in some butter or some real cream-look at the extra boost in calories He's headed in the right direction. Amy in the Ozarks

LJ

Yea it is a slow process for sure ...I am almost 4 months out an only 2 out from tonisls and as David says things still dont taste the same...not to mention me being a picky eater and having consistnecy issues..I dont like mushy food ..SO for me I lived on italian ice >( I LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT , Good for me , not so much though while trying to heal !SO HOpefully he isnt a picky eater , SOunds good he is goin to store though maybe somthing will catch his EYE ! I also have to be careful, i dont have feeling on the left side so eatin there is hard , i actaually bit a whole through my tongue last week ! Not so good LOL .BUT My Gramp makes the WORLDS BEST MAC & CHEESE... I did manage to grind that up and eat it and had a good amount of caloires .....HMMMMM MAYBE i SHOULD CALL AN ASK FOR MORE LOL !!! Good luck cus I know how hard it is ..I didnt have RAd , but I did have 25% of tongue removed then 2 months later the tonsils..so eatin was no fun !!! SO I hope for your sake and his he isnt picky like me !!!!

Thats exactly what we did! Tonight he ate some buttered noodles and a bite out of a meatball minus the sauce! He even watered my flowers. Every day is a blessing. His voice is starting to come back also. He was wispering or not talking for over 5 wks. He still has pain when swallowing but seems to be tolerating it a bit better. So onward and forward in this march to vistory!!!

Shar. Good luck to you. Try some high protien shakes. Even a McDonalds Triple shake has about 800 Cal. He seems to have to have everything at room temp. We ate a lot of Italian ice in the beginning. Too cold now for him. It bascially was the rads that killed his throat. Fried it I think! Slow but steady!

ok gang, I am ready to write a book on our journey with this beast. and I even have a title "If the Cancer doesn't kill you -your wife will!!!!" I told my husband tonight" I can't wait till you are well enough for me to tell you off." and he said "you better be ready also." Love, patiences and prayers is the only way to get through each day. I guess you have to keep humor in this thing or it will eat you up alive. I keep saying to myself its not my feelings that count but .... Ok thats enough of me venting. Thanks for listening! Have a good week=end!

lady J,

Caregivers need to understand the difference between soft love and tough love and they need to know when to use them both.

I remember when I was 2 weeks post Tx and I had lost 30% of my body weight; couldn't open my mouth to talk; was writing everything on a tablet; was severely dehydrated; was badly nauseated; meds weren't working; was ashen grey; was not swallowing anything and didn't have a Peg and I was refusing to go to the hospital unless she could guarantee me a private room so I could watch my college football game. I actually wrote that down on my pad. She looked at me and said "then die watching your damn football game" and she left me alone to go to work!! I was shocked, I was like she left me, she can't leave me, I really need her. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't call her because it hurt soooo much just to try to wisper. Anyway she let me stew for about 10 mins and she came back and TOLD ME if I didn't go with her at once she was going to have me Baker Acted. Needless to say I went but I did get my private room and I did get to see my game and I did get her message loud and clear and I did write her an apology.... after the game was over of course.

I give all the credit in the world to you caregivers.