Hi everyone,

In a nutshell, I found this wonderful site on the internet.

My husband is 42 yo and a heavy 3 pack a day smoker and an alcoholic for the past 20 years.

He was diagnosed with squamous cell cancer on the floor of his mouth in 2000 and had surgery to remove the cancer.

It recurred in 2003 same area, and he had the same surgical procedure to remove it.

It has now come back again (3rd recurrence) same place more aggressive and has infiltrated his gums, lower jaw bone, and also both sides of his neck lymph nodes.

The Dr staged him at a 4. He had a CT and PET and they found *something* on his lung. They are not sure what, said may be an *old* injury.

This attitude is not good enough for me. I feel they should be more concerned with that spot, especially after metastasis to his nodes has occured. They also told him he has emphysema.

They want to remove the tumor, the jaw area and do a radical disection.

Now the cancer surgeon has said that he will not need a feeding tube. Well problem is he weighs 130 pounds now, and is not eating due to severity of the pain.

I am looking for some honest answers and can't seem to find any, anywhere.

I want to know if given his condition if putting him thru surgery, radiation and chemo is going to do any good. The Dr said that once cancer gets into lymph nodes his prognosis is not good. So why are they doing this to him?

He also has pancreatic disease and a fatty liver.

He continues to drink and smoke and has to see his oncologist next week. He said that the chemo dr and radiologist will be meeting with the oncologist to discuss his treatment.

I just feel left out of the loop, and angry that he is going to have to go thru all of this if his chance at survival is poor. He is so thin now and weak, what will he be like after all this?

Any help anyone can offer is very appreciated.

Ty.

OMG, I can not believe he is still smoking and drinking after all he's gone through. I understand you want the best treatment for your husband, but I think he has to want the best for himself as well and from your post he is not wanting that at all.
You can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves even a little.
Sorry, I know this isn't what you are looking for in an answer but it is a fact.

David

The doctors are just doing their job, which is to keep him alive. It seemss to me the person you should be angry with is your husband for not wanting to do the same...I hope he can change his ways...Best of Luck

The first thing that strikes me about your post, aside from the truths mentioned in the first two replies, is that the Doc that would say "once the cancer gets into the lymph nodes, the prognosis is not good". This is far from the truth. Either he/she didn't say this or you misunderstood. This the least of his problems. Also, with the planned surgery as you describe it, it is hard to imagine that a feeding tube will not be needed.

It seems to me, that you need another opinion and you should be at a comprehensive cancer center.

Putting all this aside, if your husband has no plans of quitting his smoking and drinking, there probably is no point in persuing any treatment. I think everyone here will agree with this!!!!!

Jerry

The honest answer is that heavy smoking and heavy drinnking have been proved to be the top two risk factors for oral cancer.

I agree you need a second opinion from a CCC. Just because cancer has been founds in the nodes doesn't mean things are hopeless at all. there are MANY people around here who have survived after having a cancer like that treated.

But they aren't people who smoke and drink. You said your husband was an alcoholic so I unfortunately CAN beleive he is still drinking (and smoking) but that's one reason you need to go to a CCC. he needs someone to talk to him seriously about quitting NOW and how important it is. maybe this is the bottom he needs to hit because if he doesn't quit, he's going to kill himself, regardless of the quality of treatment he gets from here on in.

Ty, you have my sympathy for the position you are in. You must love your husband a lot to have stayed with him this long. Don't give up hope just yet. But get him somehwere where he has the best chance of getting the medical care and the other support he needs....

Nelie

He has the possibility to get past this with the surgeries and chemo, including the reconstruction of his mandible etc. at the time of the removal of the tumor mass. Stage 4 patients do make it, though their odds are tougher than cancers caught earlier. There is little doubt that lifestyle choices made caused this cancer to return, and you have heard plenty of that from previous posters. When you rhetorically ask