I know I seem ungrateful. I know that I should just be happy to have survived Stage IV Head and Neck Cancer TWICE but I am now living in a new state of constant anxiety and fear because I am about to lose my house due to the endless medica bills.

I need some real life help and suggestions because I have three kids, am disabled and absolutely am drowning in debt and I still need two more surgeries. We qualify for nothing from the government because my wife is employed so we are lower middle class, living in a small ranch house and literally can't afford to pay the bills and I am desperate. I can't even afford one of the prescriptions for mouth pain since it costs 80 for two ounces. I have applied to every entity I have found and we earn too much to qualify. We dont six figures… not even close, but right now I owe over 2000 to Sloan and can't afford the dental work on my top jaw teeth so I can get the abutment. I applied to Sloan and over 40 different agencies and non profit. Nothing.

I have always given back to others. Always gave more than I could afford to various entities and served on board of non profits. I never thought I would be in this position. I am left ashamed and scared and honestly feel lost. What have other people do in this position? I have no one close to me that could help and we have taken home equity loans and private loans already and credit cards are now insurmountable.

I do not want to beg the public or make a public appeal at all. Apart from winning the lotto, does anyone want to share a strategy to follow to try and get myself and my family out of the big black hole we are going down. I am struggling every single day just to function with my speech and swallowing and trismus, but the financial part of this is painful as well. It really really is. Thanks to any of my fellow cancer warriors who took the time to read my post. I don't know who else to ask who would understand.

Hello Legalfemme,

Sorry to hear of your overall situation; trying to recover and floundering financially.

There should be a social worker there at the hospital that you may be able to find some resources to help.

There also may be a support group attended by social workers.

I was only able to attend just the one and only cancer support group my brother was able to go to before he died of small cell lung cancer.

The social worker there had some good information and was resourceful in helping connect needs with solutions.

My brother never lived long enough to collect any of the social security he paid into his whole life; despite being terminal, you have to wait 6 months.

Perhaps a social security attorney? Get the ball rolling on that

We did set up a Go Fund me for he and his wife; I think that brought in about $15,000 from family and friends and a few strangers.

Pride can be a mean thing, of all the other stuff you can’t physically swallow, maybe consider letting go of some of your reluctance to let others help.


American Cancer Society may have some resources and ideas too.


Helping others is part of being human, and you said you’ve always been on the giving end, time to be open to receive a bit perhaps?

I hope you find some good solutions,
peace, pain relief, rest and healing.

Congratulations on the two times beating the cancer back.

There is a seperate forum for finances; you could browse through that for more ideas.