Hello,
I’m new here and would like to introduce myself. My name is Sarah, my husband was diagnosed with Oral Squamous cell carcinoma over 2 years ago. After first surgery he has had multiple skin graft failures as well as Radiation. over the course of the last year has had a recurrence that it took months to diagnose. Now after having his last surgery we have been advised his tumor has grown significantly and is no longer operable. He is no longer able to speak or eat. He is severely disfigured and has a trache and feeding tube. He cannot lay flat for radiation and is only left with the option of chemotherapy. At his last oncologist appointment they told us if he doesn’t do treatment he will only have months to live. My concern is what is the success rate for chemotherapy at this stage? I don’t want him to suffer through chemotherapy only to not survive. They are saying that chemotherapy side effects are not that bad, but I’ve never heard of anyone going to chemotherapy and not being nauseous and tired. He is already suffering from pain and fatigue I don’t think he realizes how hard this is going to be for him. He’s trying to keep going for his children and I, but I can’t get over the feeling that he’s not going to be able to make it through this. I know I said I was introducing myself, but as many of you know cancer is my only concern right now. It has consumed my life.

Hello Sarah,


So sorry to read this Exhausted.



The forum has been less busy recently than it used to be, hopefully someone who has been down a similar road to what your husband is experiencing can offer some insight and comfort soon.

My understanding is that chemotherapy reactions are very dependent on what type of chemical agent they use, the dosage, and even individual variation from person to person.

For some folks I've read it is sometimes curative, and sometimes intended only as a means to slow the progression of the disease down, to give the patient a bit more time, or reduce symptoms.

I would say you should ask your husbands doctors those questions; is recovery with only chemotherapy intended as a likely outcome or what benefit is this treatment likely to provide, slow the progression etc?

I know some folks, like my Dad, started chemotherapy, and did ok until various complications set in.

For folks that cannot tolerate a particular treatment it may be possible to try various things reduced dosage, changing other medications to help deal with the side effects, you can ask those types of questions too.

Managing the best possible quality of life regardless of treatment path would be my goal in his shoes. What can be done to make me as comfortable as possible?

The treatment may give him, you, and your children a bit more time.

With my Dad, when things after chemo took a rapid unexpected turn for the worse, a Palliative Care Physician, who was himself a former Oncologist, but made the transition to providing the best patient comfort and quality of life for his remaining time was a huge Godsend. It was a very rapid decline for my Father. If things would have drawn out, if he was ever discharged from the ICU to home hospice care, the Hospice nurse (whom we did meet, and was our goal to see if he'd tolerate reduced oxygen, he was at the maximum flow in an ICU at a critical care hospital with a trauma team due to advanced pneumanitis-almost like the cytokine storm that made treating some COVID patients and nightmare for ICU's)--the Hospice nurse we would have heavily relied upon her for wisdom and comfort in how to go hour by hour day by day.

I would ask those tough questions to your medical team, and hope they would have some kind of social worker or counselor or palliative care team etc help you guys figure these things out.

I hope you are given good news, that a fully curative intent is a good liklihood.

I hope you get some good answers from you medical team, and some others on here who have been through the ringer like your husband may offer some insight, that you your husband and family would find good support and comfort to endure.

Sincerely,

Chris