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Joined: Feb 2023
Posts: 1
PatR Offline OP
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Joined: Feb 2023
Posts: 1
Hello, I am a parent of an adult son (40), who was diagnosed with tongue cancer last March. He had surgery a month after that, and a part of his tongue was removed and rebuilt. He did well in surgery and while struggling with radiation for 5 weeks, he got through it. He was diagnosed as T2, N2, M0. Thus, he had two lymph nodes affected but the cancer hadn’t metastasized. This past November, a very small spot they had been watching on one lung got larger, so he went through more radiation, easier than the first because it wasn’t around his neck and face. This January, scans showed a spot on the second lung. He has been out on immunology IVs.

Obviously he is scared and angry. He has a wife and two young children and he is making end of life plans. While having plans like a will, etc,, is important, I feel he is being treated by his doctors well, although I think he should also get a second opinion and perhaps check out Mayo, as he lives in Minnesota.,I also suggested this group to him and he and his wife are not only adamantly opposed but both have said I made things worse by even suggesting it. He gets so angry with me I can barely talk to him any more, and that’s about anything. He will be starting counseling and I hope it helps calm him.

So, since we have done all we can to help, I have decided thet I will find support for my husband and me I here. We have a younger son who has suffered from a rare form of encephalitis for years and it has been hard for all of us, but he deals with things differently and that has helped us a lot. I am a believer in a three-prong approach to health issues: find the best doctors for one’s needs, exercise even if it’s modest, and practice a spiritual life of one’s choice.

Patricia Roberts
Joined: Aug 2020
Posts: 146
Likes: 36
Assistant Administrator
Senior Member (100+ posts)
Assistant Administrator
Senior Member (100+ posts)

Joined: Aug 2020
Posts: 146
Likes: 36
Hi Pat,

I am so sorry to read of your pain and your son's challenges. I went thru surgery and radiation about 3 years ago for stage 4 SCC on my tongue and they found cancer in one of my nodes. There are a couple spots on my lungs they are watching. I found everything you listed helpful - exercise (even in the hospital with a dozen tubes and sensors hanging off me I would walk circles around the ICU), therapy (formal or informal), and faith were the daily things that got me to this point.

I wonder, does your son ever come to this forum? I found it well after treatment and wish i had found it earlier. Having connections to people who can relate could help.

We also had a small group of three of us going through our treatment together. Our doctors introduced us. We would do zoom calls every 2-4 weeks until we all finished our treatments.

Here is a short read you/your son may enjoy - google "cancer diagnosis is like finding a lion in the fridge." Makes me laugh and cry every time.

Stay safe and keep the faith,

OC thriver, Tongue Stage IV, diag 3/12/20, surg 4/1/20, RT compltd 7/8/20

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