Hello everyone,
I was a member of this board 6 years ago when I was diagnosed with oral tongue cancer for the first time at the age of 25 - (32 now) squamous cell carcinoma, no risk factors and
HPV negative. I thought I had updated since then but I guess I never did. I may have reached out to people individually as I was lucky enough to connect with some truly amazing people on this forum, many of whom helped me in so many ways. I've always been grateful for and to the individuals in this community and don't think I would have been able to maneuver some of the early days without its amazing support.
So, for that exact reason, and because it's 1:30 AM and I feel helpless waiting around for the world to wake up so I can deal with this, I find myself here venting to people who may understand, feeling perhaps truly panicked for one of the first times since 2014. I've had some other concerns before, obviously, as I'm sure many have when something new and unknown appears, but this one... this new spot on my tongue seems different. It seems a little more malicious. I know better than to assume anything before a doctor can see me but in the meantime, I'm finding myself back here feeling all different levels of deja vu praying that I am worrying for nothing. To top it off, for some reason the fact that my doctor left the University Hospital and sent us all letters just last month has me even more panicked. I love his team, I am grateful that the hospital has an amazing staff... but this is one of those moments I wish I could ask the doctor who operated on me last time. The worry center of my brain has clearly won at this point because it's saying, you made it 5 years, you're in year 6... remission... just in time for your doctor to leave and this spot to appear...
I realize I may sound ridiculous. But I feel slightly calmer now that I've written the words out. Thanks for letting me vent.
-Kat
