Hello all survivors and all future survivors,

This may be long to read.

I am new to this forum and wanted to introduce myself and explain a bit about what is going on with me. Any feedback is very welcome.

Almost 2 years ago my right tonsil became swollen with white spots. I went to an ENT and he brushed it off as tonsil stones and explained to me how I can rid of them by scraping them myself at home. I began having an awful taste in my mouth and felt as though my breath smelled just as awful as the taste and chalked it up to the tonsil stones. I also felt like there was something stuck in my throat but again chalked it up to these "tonsil stones". The stones eventually subsided but my tonsil never went down and neither did the pain going into my ear which was minor or the feeling of something stuck in my throat.

I waited close to a year or maybe more and brought it up to my primary care (please understand doctor visits would interrupt my work schedule and I was already seeing a pain specialist for a failed back fusion so I didn't make the time since it seemed minor and like nothing would be done) needless to say I asked her to refer me again to the ENT since it had not gone down any in a year, I explained that my dad had stage 4 throat cancer so I am a bit concerned right now, her response was asking me if I smoke, I said yes and so she said "Then why are you worried about having cancer?" I just was stunned and caught off guard so I didn't know how to respond. She didn't even look in my mouth or feel around my neck, she did nothing. I left it like that and didn't mention it again to her. Fast forward a year later and my tonsil is still swollen but there really isn't any pain and all other symptoms still there as well (bad breath, bad taste all the time, something caught in my throat).

I moved to a new state and the first visit with a primary while I was explaining all my health conditions, I mention before she looks in my throat that my tonsil has been swollen for over 18 months or more so she wouldn't feel the need to treat with antibiotics so she looks inside and begins asking about it, I explained what my doctor said and she seemed frustrated that my doctor said that, she began feeling around my neck and felt 2 lumps on the right side of my neck , same side as my swollen tonsil so she referred me for a CT scan and a referral to an ENT. My insurance wouldn't approve a CT scan of my neck without doing an ultrasound first, so we get an ultrasound which doesn't show anything to explain my symptoms. I then see the ENT and we talked about the ultrasound and he shakes his head saying ultrasounds don't really show much of anything, only CT scans do, he also appeared very frustrated with my previous doctors way of handling me, he then explains that he will probably send me for a CT scan and give me a list of foods to avoid especially with the acid reflux THEN he did the exam looking in my throat, the back of my tongue and up my nose (oh, I started having a foul smell only in my right nostril only weeks before i saw this ENT) He immediately looked concerned and stated "We have to schedule you for surgery as soon as possible to have your tonsils removed so I can send them for pathology" I immediately felt nervous based on his response and quick change of treatment plan and agreed. A week later I asked if there was any other option we can do other than surgery since I just started a new job and that I would rather find a different option of he really isnt concerned if he just wanted to take the tonsils out for general purposes and look at it but really isn't concerned and needless to say he declined the idea of any other option and again stated I need to have this done the quickest we can, so I said to his nurse who was communicating between us "So that means he is very concerned" she said "yes and we need to get you in asap", they wanted to schedule me for the following week but I explained my only support was out of state and I have 3 small kids, would I need someone to help me or will it be a simple procedure that I can handle them myself, he said he would rather I have someone to help me with the kids for the 2 weeks post op and that the doctor would be out of town for 2 weeks so they scheduled me for the week he gets back. Since my initial visit with this ENT I have felt 3 more new lumps around my neck, 2 on the left side and one right in the middle between the clavicle bones on my throat.

My surgery is now scheduled for January 13th. I am very nervous. I am trying daily to not allow my anxiety take over and convince me but as I have been reading so much I have all the symptoms of cancer. My jaw bone is also larger on the right side than the left. It also hurts very much when I drink something cold, almost like a brain freeze that lasts for a while only on the right side of my throat, symptoms appear to be spreading,. The lumps on my neck are soft, not hard but I have several. I have a big double chin going to my neck which is why id didn't notice the first lumps but now they have multiplied and feel like they are started to block my airway a bit, it feels like they are big pushing through where I breathe and it is getting harder to feel a clear airway if that makes any sense to you. Could it be possible even though they are soft that they still could be swollen lymph nodes? Does anyone know what these lumps could be caused from or any ideas of lumps they may have researched? I am not asking you all to diagnose me, just give me a few ideas to research while I wait maybe. I know I wont be able to keep my job I just started because I have not worked there long enough to take 2 weeks off. But mainly this doctors reaction has me almost convinced that it is cancer and as though he already recognizes it's cancer but he just needs the pathology report to confirm before he can tell me. My father did make it through treatment of stage 4 throat cancer but he became skin and bones. Also my moms best friend got diagnosed my first week of moving in with her in August, and within a month had a tracheotomy and a feeding tube, she was doing very good with the radiation and chemo and a couple of weeks ago died while trying to clean out her tracheotomy. From her diagnosis to her death it was like 2 months total which devastated us all. So I have watched family fight this disease and know recovery is possible, I don't feel like I am going to die from this, just anxious to know. If anyone has had similar symptoms or experiences with their doctor I would love to hear it. Thank you for creating this forum. I know I will keep you guys up to date with what is going on with me.

Thanks, Beautymustsuffer!

Welcome to the forum. Please understand that we are a group of patients and caregivers who are here to share the experience we got on the cancer journey. We are not medical professionals and have not received any medical training. We cannot tell you what your problem may be and, really, you won’t want us to as it will be extremely irresponsible.

Your best course of action now is to wait for your doctor’s return and discuss your concerns in-depth with him. There are thousands of possibilities and you need medical tests or a biopsy for a definitive diagnosis.