Is it okay if I say that I'm glad this place exists but I'm sorry I have to be here? I'm a caregiver to my mother. Mom had a massive stroke 13 years ago and is disabled. She is 80 years young. 2.5 years ago, she was diagnosed with stage III anterior tongue cancer. (Non-smoker, non-drinker, no HPV.) She had a hemiglossectomy and neck dissection followed by 30 rounds of radiation. About one year ago, they found a spot in her lung and were unable to determine through biopsy if it was a MET or a new primary. She underwent 15 rounds of radiation. Follow-up showed that the radiation was effective and the mass was shrinking but a new spot near to the previous one had developed. Dr.'s thought it was likely just an area of damage due to the radiation. PET scan 3 months later revealed growth in that spot with increased metabolic uptake as well as spots on her sternum, ribs and pelvis. Medical oncology feels that she isn't a candidate for chemo as it would add only a few, very uncomfortable, months to her life. What I am here seeking is an idea of time remaining. No one will give us that information. The answers are vague, "Could be a month, could be a couple years."
Many blessings to all of you,
Snowflake

Snowflake, welcome to OCF! Im very sorry to read about your mother! Im sure this latest news has been very difficult on everyone!

Im sure your mothers doctors are doing the best they can for her. Im sorry if you have already exhausted all options for your mother already. Your mother probably already went thru all options but you just never know so I thought I should still mention the following just in case.... Have her doctors tried the new immunotherapy drugs that have worked very well for some patients with mets to their lungs. Its Keytruda or Opdivo that are the newer immunotherapy drugs. I would definitely ask her docs about those ASAP! If she hasnt already done so what about a second opinion at one of the top comprehensive cancer centers like Sloan Kettering, Moffitt, or MD Anderson? I do not mean to cause anyone any extra worrying by mentioning a couple options that might help your mother.

Determining exactly how long someone has left isnt an easy feat to figure out. Theres so many things that can play a part in the whole scheme of things. At OCF, we're a group of patients/survivors and caregivers who do not have medical backgrounds, years of medical training and education, the patients full medical history plus the patient themselves to examine (not that any of us would fully understand exactly what we were doing or looking at anyway. Unfortunately, our knowledge of oral cancer and everything that goes along with it is from things we ourselves have experienced first hand. Im very sorry but our knowledge would not ever be able to decipher your questions of your mothers situation and time frame. Even highly skilled physicians as you have seen, arent able to give an accurate timeline.

Wishing you and your mother all the very best with everything you both are going thru.

Thank you so much, Christine. Frankly, the medical oncologist was very brief and blunt and said simply that immunotherapy and chemo weren't options that he could recommend for my mom because of adverse side effects and he felt they would add only minimal time. (Equals, not worth it.) He released us to palliative care. It was a devastating day. Mom has fought so valiantly and struggled so much. It's hard to know the arsenal is now empty. Nonetheless, I will research the nearest CCC's. Thank you so much.