Its very very rare to have bilateral nodular involvement where cancer is concerned. Your dr. says they are reactive. Chances are you have an infection. Usually it's one side or the other affected when it comes to cancer. At some point it can jump them midline but at that point I think your symptomology would be much greater.

try not to worry ... hugs.

Sophie,
Those were great words that your doctor shared with you.

I hope I can keep them in mind for myself and for others.

xo,
Kerri

Hi Karri,
What my doctor did for me is take away my sense of responsibility and my illusion of control away with simple words, "have hope".

And somehow when I snapped out of my desperation and very slowly into a lightness of being. I decided to be the best I could be no matter how bad things got with Stephen, and more so I decided to be hopeful, to believe in what felt like the impossible. And the only way to do that is to accept the present state, including which was at the time my very tired state. It might have been foreign at first but I exuded happiness for the sake of feeling and feeling good about myself and the life Stephen and I are building together.

I try my best to be selfless and to love Stephen purely in the now. Because after all it is all that matters in the end.

Sophie

Thank you Sophie. Have hope, accept the present, love in the now...very wise words.

This is a reminder that I seem to need periodically (actually, over & over again) while dealing with the aftermath of side effects. Have you posted this on the caregiver section?

Lottie

Hi mark, I know how overwhelming the wait can be. What Cheryld said about cancer starting on one side is true, so you can take relief in that.

And yes Lottie being present when secondary effects cause harm and stress is a daily challenge. I always tell myself that I am doing all that I can by just being at Stephen's side through every storm. We are so accustom to going to the emergency that it has become a calm routine.

I stay calm whenever possible.
Listen and ask how Stephen is doing so that he never feels alone.
And we hold eachother a lot, it makes for better sleeps.
Life is not what I expected but the shared hardship has definitely bonded us in a profound way.
And when he feels better, I make sure to celebrate by being twice as goofy and twice as funny as I usually am. I make him laugh even when he doesn't feel like it and that make me very happy.

Hi everyone,

Thank you for the feedback. I realize that having swollen lymph nodes on both side of the neck speaks against this particular cancer. I take relief in that....even though now I am afraid that I have lymphoma ....I will speak to my doctor about this.

And as soon as I am in my home country again I will start therapy...I realize that I have a huge problem with health anxiety.

Once again, I very much appreciate all the words you have provided and the help you have given.

So happy to hear from you, know that you are in so many hearts and minds. Thank you for popping in again.
Sophie

Best wishes, Mark, as you head back home!

Hugs,
Kerri

Hi all,

it's me again. I'm back in my home country now, but the tonsil thing is not letting me go. I still have the feeling of something stuck in my throat, at the back of my tongue, between tongue and tonsil. I had another look in the mirror and now I finally realize what it is. I have a little white growth on my tonsil. Its not a tonsil stone (I have those, but they come off). This one does not. It looks like a little zyst or something. Since it is at the front, and where the tongue touches the tonsil, I can feel it as this 'something stuck'. I googled again (i know, my bad) and I found someone who had something similar and with whom it turned out to be cancerous (even though he only had to have his tonsil removed, no chemo and no radiation). I wonder know whether I should press for another appointment with an ENT to have this particular thing looked at. Did anyone of you guys have something similar? Or do you guys know about zyst-like growths on tonsils?

wishes,
mark

Hi, Mark.

I am glad to hear that you are home now.

Please get a second opinion from a qualified otolaryngologist who specializes in oral, head, and neck cancer.

You've been worried about this for a long time and now you can visualize a cyst-like structure. It's up to you to get it taken care of. Looking on the mirror over and over again isn't going to help.

I'm sorry for the tough love, but it seems like you need it. Here's to hoping it's nothing serious, but the only way you'll know is with a biopsy.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

~Kerri