I much appreciate all the replies here, and trying very hard to think it is just a zit, it had to be that... I will call my RO's nurse tomorrow and go from there,to find a doctor to look at it.
Thank you all so much!

Hi Ambra:

I haven't said hi in awhile ... so "hi".

I think it's good you are going to get it checked out. Hopefully it will give you one less thing to worry about.

Has anybody told you that you worry a lot; it's very evident in your writing. I know Bart has said to stop worrying so much. But, it just seems to stick with you. It's like you never get any peace because there is always something new and your chosen reaction to it is to worry that it is always bad instead of relaxing and give it a chance to be benign or good.

Of course if the acne/zit doesn't go away in 2 weeks then of course you need to ask your doctor. But, did you give it two weeks. I apologize for not remembering when it started, but I don't think it was as long ago as two weeks.

Please don't think I'm trying to be hard on you, that's the last thing I want to do. But you just worry so much, and that isn't good.

We had our dance club Christmas party last night, had a great time dancing, but all the food tasted BAD, even the dessert.

Take care Ambra .. stop worrying so much

Tony (9 zaps to go)

Hi Tony,

"Hi" to you as well. And am glad to hear you had fun dancing. Too bad about the dessert, but you will be able to taste dessert again very soon.

Yes, I am very aware that I worry too much in general. Such is my personality, I have always been like that. I know that is not good, and I have been trying to change that for a while, but some changes are difficult to accomplish.

Now, with this terrible disease, unfortunately, finding any lump and bump, especially in the general area where cancer was, is always going to be a source of great distress and worry for me. I am sure pretty sure anyone here can relate to that. I can and will continue to try to worry less, but sometimes it is impossible.

I do not seek things to worry about on purpose, they just happen. Trust me, I would much rather focus on something nice, it is just that there hasn't been anything very nice in my life for a very long time, years actually. The last four or so years have been a string of bad events, culminating with this diagnosis. I am possibly nearing the limit of just how much I can take. So I am worrying even more.

Anyway, I do not think you are trying to be hard on me, no worries. I actually appreciate your concern. It is just how I am, and stopping to worry, especially in this situation, is simply not possible right now.

Ambra, you won't feel better until it's checked in any event, so get it checked. I had the same issue with a small bump on my tongue, which sent in me into a panic, and off I went to the doc. Turns out I had just burnt my tongue on some hot soup. I felt like a twit, but my doctor told me to never feel stupid about following up.

[quote=Ambra]

Now, with this terrible disease, unfortunately, finding any lump and bump, especially in the general area where cancer was, is always going to be a source of great distress and worry for me. I am sure pretty sure anyone here can relate to that. I can and will continue to try to worry less, but sometimes it is impossible. [/quote]

I can definitely relate Ambra, since I too am in the process of having a "new issue" checked out. Anxiety has stolen far more hours from humanity than cancer ever will. Get mad about that and refuse to give in to worries that only rob today of calm and sweetness! Take comfort in the fact that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself.

[quote=Ambra]...there hasn't been anything very nice in my life for a very long time, years actually. The last four or so years have been a string of bad events, culminating with this diagnosis. [/quote]

Oh Ambra, I am sorry that things have been so rough for so long. The least cancer could do for you is to set you free to pursue happiness. What would that be like?

A big AMEN to what mamacita posted! xo

You know, the only thing that bothers me more than people telling me to 'not worry' is suggesting that I 'just relax'. Like that's going to happen :-)

What I have found, however, is being very active about doing something pleasant (such as a good book) or soothing (meditative breathing) does actually help. I think that is also why Christine's advice to keep busy is so helpful.

Thanking about you,
Maria

Thank you all for all the kind words and support, much appreciated.

I have just come back from the dermatologist and thankfully it is indeed just a nasty under skin zit. Breathing huge sigh of relief.

I also wanted to say that I am emotionally not doing well at all, and am on (or maybe already over) the edge of real depression. I am looking for a therapist and hope that I can find one soon. I might not be much around here for a while depending on my condition and how I manage to deal with it.

Thanks again for everything!

What you are feeling is completely normal. You are making the right choice to seek help. MANY of us have, whether patient or caregiver.
Good luck and good news from the doc.
Kathy

Ambra - that is good news from the dermatologist. Depression can get better. You just need to find somebody qualified treat you and make the best recommendations, especially where meds are concerned. Most of us do get depressed. And you cannot expect a quick fix. . . . coming out of depression is a very gradual thing. My son was with a therapist and also on meds for depression. Everyone is individual as to reactions so it's best to keep in touch with your doctor about how you are feeling. Maybe the dermatologist can recommend someone? I used to ask my son how he was feeling on a scale of 1 - 10. If he said a 3, then I would ask if he could work on getting to a 5 and later if he only made it to a 4, that was progress and something to feel good about. So do seek help. You will be glad you did. In the meantime, take some deep breaths, keep moving, keep busy. And come back and let us know how you are doing.