For me, this New Year's has been a significant celebration. I was diagnosed with Stage IV SCCA in November of 2002. Three inches or so of the right mandible were removed on December 3... radical neck dissection, fubular graft, a flap was taken from the same leg to repair my mouth. Radiation followed soon thereafter, and I was told that chemo wasn't recommended.

Somewhere in the numbness leading up to the first of six surgeries, I remember my oncologist revealing the grim 5-year mortality stats... he said that the first two years would be the toughest. They certainly were tough, but as I raised my glass this past week, surrounded by loved ones, I allowed myself to revel in the thought that I had looked a monster in the eye and lived to tell the tale.

My wife gve me a Fleetwood Mac concert DVD for Christmas. As the concert built to its crecendo, the aging yet ageless rockers played their anthem to better days, "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow." I choose to think that tomorrow will be "better than today," for me and for you.

Thanks for being here. I wish I had found you a long time ago.

Ken

Dear Ken,

Tom and I returned home from a post-Christmas trip today and I'm catching up on the board messages. Tom is 3 weeks post-op (neck dissections) and is having many problems right now - physical as well as emotional. Reading your post has renewed my strength in helping him through this. Some days he feels defeated, and I have to bolster him even as I am grieving for him (and US) deep inside. Messages like yours are such a profound help...........we WILL get through this and there WILL be brighter days.

Thanks for the New Year outlook! We stayed up on Friday night to happily flush 2004 and look towards those better days in 2005.
Love
Nicki

Welcome Ken

Congratulations on reaching that special 2-year mark - it is always uplifting to hear the stories from survivors. You have obviously been through a harrowing journey.

You will find a supportive and loving family here. I'm looking forward to seeing more from you.

Love and light from Helen

Thanks, Helen. It looks like you and I have a lot in common. I'm happy we're here to talk about it.

Dear Nicki... 3 weeks post-op was a dark time. I was in the hospital 15 days. I lost 62 lbs, because I coudn't eat and they couldn't pump in the calories fast enough. I couldn't walk because of the spare parts they removed from my leg, and I couldn't use crutches due to shoulder pain. (They had to sever an important nerve during neck the dissection.) I, too, was a mess.

Two years later, my leg is better with the passage of time, my shoulders are stronger after physical therapy, and I've gained back 20 pounds. I've lost a few battles along the way, but I'm doing OK.

I wish you and Tom the very best.

Ken

Hi Ken,
I also had stage IV SCC in my jaw and had to have the lower left half removed. They replaced the jaw with the bone from my leg and I had the neck disection. I had my surgery on April 16th 2003 and finished radiation that July. So far so good, with a few scares along the way. My leg gives me lots of trouble now, it's weak and aches alot. I also find myself favoring my good leg which causes more strain on the right hip. My jaw if stiff and my neck is also, although my shoulder is reasonably normal. All in all, I'm alive and get to see my childrens faces every day. I was 41 when I was diagnosed and it scared the you know what out of me. My life is forever changed but it's still a very full, enjoyable life. I still feel homesick for the "old me" every now and again but I get over it quicker as time goes on.
Nikki, I'm pretty sure Tom is hitting that horrible depression you have heard all of us talk about. It was my darkest time and I still vividly remember how I felt. If my feeling of responsibility to my children had not been so incredibly strong, I would have crawled in bed and simply allowed myself to die, that's how scared and hopeless I felt. Just be there for him and remind him that this stage is part of he process. Take care of yourself also.

Welcome Ken! We're happy to have you.
Minnie

Hi, Minnie.

I wish I'd kept a journal so I could remember what hurt and when. (grin) My leg used to bother me a lot. Emphasis on "used" to. My docs thought it was no big deal to lose a fibula or to have a flap removed from the area. I suggested that they just might be mistaken.

Good news about your shoulder. My right shoulder deteriorated over time as I favored it. Then the left one started to hurt. It took a month of painful PT to get back on track, but I'm glad I did the work.

At one point, I couldn't lift up my granddaughters to give them a hug. This would be mighty tough for anybody, but I was a 6'-4" football player back in the glory days and I'd kept in reasonably good shape over the years. It broke my heart when I couldn't lift a 4-year-old... but now I can, and a 6-year-old, too.

I was worried that the girls would be afraid of their funny looking grandpa, but their hearts are just too big to let a few scars and a few missing teeth get in the way.

God bless the children. They give us strength on the bad days.

Ken

Hey Ken,
Welcome! This Christmas was so much better than last as Dan was having a radical neck dissection on Christmas eve...I thought so much about it over the holidays and just praised God that he is here and doing okay after the news that they couldn't get it all during surgery. We have had a few scares, but so far so good. Dan got the flu over New Year's so it was a quiet evening at home. I think the hardest thing is everytime any sickness comes his way, I always wonder....I know you know what I mean. Congratulations on the two year mark...can't wait for us to get there also.
God bless,
Debbie

Ken, welcome to the site. Sorry you had occasion to find us, but hopefully we can add some to your quality of life and you can add some to ours. It is good news indeed to hear from those who have passed the majical 2 year timespan. My doctors tell me that about 85% of the recurrances that will occur, will occur before the 2 year mark, so that spells out a good thing for you. Glad to hear it. Look forward to hearing from you in the future and will add you to my prayer list, which is getting pretty long at this point.

Ken,

Welcome to You and congratulations on Your two year anniversary. Your great positive attitude and Love of Life are a real inspiration. Thanks for coming on board, you will be amazed at what you will find here.

Peace
Jack
..........
Dx 1/15/97 SCC rt. tonsil met to rt lymph node Stg IV,
Srgry 1/23/97 tonsillectomy & mod radical neck dissection,
Radiation 35 trtmnts both sides

Ken,

Let me add another welcome to this site. It's great to read how much you've recovered in the past couple of years. I know what you mean about wishing you had kept a journal at the time -- I didn't really keep track of things either because it seemed like so much effort had to go into the day-to-day survival routine. The good news is, as more time passes, many of the gruesome memories of surgery and radiation truly fade into the background, although I would have found that almost impossible to believe at the time. Many of my happiest and most fulfilling experiences have been in the years after cancer -- and I wish you many more years cancer-free to enjoy with your family!

Cathy