Although I have been reading the forums over two years, this is my second post. My first was on Christine's "Very Sad News" thread about Charm's passing.

I miss him. I miss his attitude. I miss his wisdom. I miss his humor. I miss his posting lyrics to songs. I miss the way he shared his journey. I miss the way he answered posts from new members who had courage enough to reach out to OCF. I miss the way he spoke of Bev. I miss Charm.

I never "talked" to him, but he taught me so much.

I'm thankful for him, and for all of you, his OCF friends. You and he share(d) experiences so that others, like me, for whatever reason are reluctant to post often, can learn, grow, and be better caregivers.

Your loss is shared by many and grieved deeply.

(I will add a signature line soon.)

You just jump in anytime Virgo. Charm was certainly one of those special folks that do what we all do here...just a wee bit more though. It just sucks when we lose one of the family and it happens way too much. It is the posts like yours that keeps us going on when the heart gets so darn weary. Please keep the memory alive by passing on your experiences and knowledge. That's what Charm would want and that's what we all want.

Ed

I didn't know him but I did read a few of his posts. I know it was apparently sudden but what happened? Was it cancer related?

"T"

"T" - Here's a link to his memorial OCF page:
http://www.ocfstore.org/tom_baker_jr_ocf_fund_s/258.htm

I miss him a lot, too. Over the years, I had always looked forward to Charm's posts. He had such a way of expressing his thoughts and feelings that will always be remembered. Over the years, I would collect and save some of his very unique ways of expressing his thoughts in a file I called "Memorable Quotes". When circumstances called for it, he would bring out his very direct "telling it like it is" style which I loved. The day I found the "sad news", I reached for this file to find some comfort in his own words and it did help me. Maybe the following will help to give a little more info on our beloved Charm: The following was an answer to someone who had attempted to promote what Charm referred to as "quackademic medicine" and of course not allowed on OCF. I think the poster may also have questioned Charm's credentials:

<<I am a retired lawyer, who started out in criminal defense but could not stand to get guilty clients set free, then went into medical malpractice where I learned how to read between the lines of bullshit medical studies and fake medical claims. In both of those, I got tired of asking the client's, "how much justice can you afford", so I switched to being a state civil prosecutor protecting those discriminated for jobs on account of their race, sex, handicap, etc. The Department of Justice in DC recruited me to deal with police departments then I was promoted over to Treasury to handle big million dollar cases involving cities not paving streets or providing sewer services or highways on account of discrimination but did not realize that certain politicians g did not really want me to win those cases so the Dept of Treasury dissolved my whole agency for "fiscal reasons".
I then headed up enforcement of the Foreign Assets Control laws against funding terrorists and trained US Custom Agents.
Again, I offended the wrong high ranking people by making a big bank pay a million dollar fine so I was shipped over to the IRS as punishment. Luckily for me, they needed someone to protect them from the vendors of computer equipment and fake technology promises and the high priced outside consultants . Suddenly, being a "mad dog" litigator was an asset. I had a lot of fun with some great IT people modernizing the agency so you can e-file with only a PIN instead of having to buy a PKI certificate.
I retired when the cancer hit me with the highest award possible: The Albert Gallatin Award from Treasury.
So, while I am not a medical doctor, I have ripped them to shreds in depositions and know how to spot phony studies.
Plus I got used to being the only one to speak the truth to power and call fools fools.

Charm>>

In addition to his many other qualities, Charm was also our protector.

Charm's softer side and his love of family was always evident whenever he spoke of his wife and family. See his article about dinners with his wife:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/28/AR2010062803794.html

Thanks for the info and links. Indeed, he was a rare breed for sure. May he RIP.

"T"

Two days after receiving a very difficult Awake Intubation Procedure, and after receiving good wishes from many for the successful surgery, Charm with his characteristic humor gave us insight into how tough he really was in describing his hospital experience (in his own words):

<<#163363 - 29/03/13 07:47 AM
Wow
Thanks everyone. It turns out I never could get to sleep until 4 pm yesterday after I got home after demanding to be discharged from the hospital. It was simply impossible to sleep in the hospital. I had doctors, nurses, the patient advocate, executives all coming almost every hour since there was also an incident before the surgery when at midnight, a "confused" patient who was wandering the halls and shouting for bacon and eggs for breakfast was being coddled by sympathetic nurses. He began to start going into and out of other patients rooms claiming they were all his rooms, that he had paid for the entire hospital and they all worked for him and they better not forget it. The nurses would chase after him but never restrained him. They caught up with him right outside my door before he came in. Since it turns out I was the one and only room he had not barged into, he became fixated on entering my room. He was truly crazy and deranged and at 1 am, he burst out of his room , right next to mine, and pushed open my door and rushed in.
What he did not know was that unlike all the other patients who had IVs and EKG leads and were unable to move out of the bed, I had demanded the night nurse remove my IV, take off my restraining compression leggings, and disconnect the EKG leads.
My story, and I am sticking to it, is that I politely and calmly pointed out the error of his ways and it was just a coincidence that all 6 foot two inches of him suddenly bounced out of the room and he landed sprawled in the corridor.
He started shouting he had a pistol in his room and he would get it and shoot me dead. At that point, I called security and they moved him off the floor. Again, I never touched him He just lost his balance. But boy did the hospital send in enough people to apologize and make sure I was okay.
True story. EricS can guess the oratorical approach I used.
so yes I was wired up beyond belief
Charm>>

I miss him, too. I don't post most these days but usually read regularly. Charm's "voice" always really resonated with me and he was always so generous with his knowledge and advice. I loved his tell-it-like-it-is style and his commitment to educating and assisting others. I only interacted with him a little bit but feel his loss every time I visit this site.

Ditto!
This man had an amazing effect on many of us. I only wish he were here to continue to have such an enormous effect on every visitor here. I don't know why he made such an impression on me. Maybe it was the warrior in him. I just could not believe one of his last posts when he barely survived that massive intubation?. The description of the ER room standing room only with a massive team trying to help. Then he finds the energy to post that insane situation, almost with a smirk and a raised fist.

He was a warrior to the end. I could not tell how ill he was; other than having been through alot and going through alot. His short absences always made me worry as it was surely a fact he was just not able to muster up enough energy to post.

I miss him and just want his spirit to live on here somehow. Maybe posts like this now and then will help keep the flame alive.

I sometimes search Charm's posts just so I can feel his presence among us, still encouraging us on with his wisdom, his humor and compassion and directness. I wish I could have met him in person, but just knowing how many others still miss him as I do helps to keep him with us in our hearts and minds.