RECAP: ent doctor,Biopsy of the bump inside my mouth on the back by the gum cheek area came back negative, doctor did a scope and said things look ok he did mention that my left tonsil is slightly bigger than my right tonsil but he said he did not find nothing abnormal, second appointment with my ent he checked my tonsils again with a flashlight looking tool, again said things looked fine, he massaged my neck and looked in to my ear and said my left ear looked a little stuffed, he ordered a CT SCAN with CONTRAST for next week and said he will also like to order me a hearing test, i did not like the fact that he said he did some more research on HPV i thought he had told me he knew aboutthe virus smh.. he said if it made me feel more conftrable he is willing to see me every 6 months to keep an eye on me.
i dont know if im making my self crazy but the discomfort in my ear is still there and the neck pain comes and goes... also i have a red bump under my chin that hurts it looks like a ingrown hair and today pus started coming out of it??? im so scared you guys i even started to look up costs for funerals... i dont know what to do.. as much as i dont wanna think about it and as much i want to distract myself from this subject i cant!! i think about this 24-7 every single minute of the day and even at nights i cant sleep..

Leo.....PLEASE CALM DOWN!!!!! Please stop worrying so much. This is making you feel so much worse. It way too much stress and its not helping you to think clearly about your situation.

Thinking about this 24/7 is unhealthy. Here is a way to get it off your mind. When you begin to think "what if....." I want you to say to yourself...Ok, I will only allow myself to consider these possibilities for 3 minutes then I will do something productive. Begin to do things to keep your mind occupied with things that take alot of concentration. How about reading a technical type of a book? Something which requires your 100% attention. How about watching a movie which is suspenseful, something which drags you into its plot and makes you pay close attention so you dont miss any details. Do you have any hobbies? How about something you have been putting off, like maybe organizing your basement or garage? Begin a hobby or activity that you must focus on to be successful. Go to the library and take out a book about a subject you are interested in....not anything to do with cancer, dying, or anything negative. Strive for the positive.

Do some volunteer work, anything productive which helps others will help to keep your mind busy. Idle minds will wander to your problem and by focusing too much on this it is giving you a slanted view of the situation. By thinking about things in a calm, rational manner it will help you to think logically about things. Dont get too far ahead of yourself. Did you know worrying will NOT change the future, not one bit! It will not change the test results or do one positive thing for you. All it is doing is making you frantic and upset so its it not anything that is helpful. I have been in your situation and I was scared and worried myself but over the years I have learned how to help myself to avoid becoming paralyzed with fear of the unknown.

I am trying to help you to feel better. I know how hard it is to wait around for a diagnosis. Waiting is the absolute worst! It can play tricks on your mind especially when you have done a couple tests or seen a few doctors.

Hang in there! With the CT scan they will have a better picture of whats going on.

Good luck!!!

Leo,

I second what Christine said. You're making yourself crazy with this. There's nothing I can add or say that will alleviate your concern. I'm not a doctor and cannot derive even a good guess on what's going on with you. However, based on what you've posted and what your ENT has said, it doesn't sound like cancer.

Perhaps there's someone you can speak with?...a counselor maybe? You need to relax and get off the worry-go-round. I could look up the symptoms of several diseases and find I'm suffering from at least one or two of the symptoms at any given time. The mind is a funny thing. Too much worry and stress could have you feeling things that aren't there.

It really appears your ENT feels you're Ok. Hopefully the CT will put this to rest for you and you can go on about your life.

Positive thoughts and prayers

"T"

thank u guys for the reply... i dont think i have ever been this stressed in my life and i appreciatte the replys and advice, i pray to god that everything is ok with me and if things are ok i am going to go to a therapist or counselor, living like this is not healthy at all i feel like im not myself and my family is worried about me without even knowing whats going on, hopefully it gets better for me thanks again!