#16525 10-09-2004 11:37 AM | Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) |  Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,244 | Hi Francesca
We are coming to La Cala near Benidorm, not quite sure where you are, but you can always send me a private message with your phone number and I'll contact you when I get to Spain, the phone cards are so cheap there....
Sunshine... love and hugs
Helen
SCC Base of tongue, (TISN0M0) laser surgery, 10/01 and 05/03 no clear margins. Radial free flap graft to tonsil pillar, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection 08/04
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#16526 10-09-2004 04:38 PM | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 | Hello Francesca Sounds like you and Nicki have much in common at present. I am amazed that your husband is able to sing professionally. He is very courageous as he must be in a lot of pain and feeling very tired. I guess the fact that he was misdiagnosed for so long must add to his anger big time. I'm so glad you have joined this loving and supportive group. Love from Helen 
RHTonsil SCC Stage IV tx completed May 03
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#16527 10-10-2004 05:00 AM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2003 Posts: 928 | Hello Francesca, I also am amazed at how well your husband is bouncing back..he must be one strong willed man!
Now, I can just see you and Helen chugging down the sangria.. mmmmm Spain in November? sounds good to me.
As you will have seen during your sojourns through this board we have all had to deal with this in different ways.
One of my favourite quotes to remember is an Emmerson one .
" What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. "
You can do it girl hang in there !
Tkae care of yourself
Love
marica
Caregiver to husband Pete, Dx 4/03 SCC Base of Tongue Stage IV. Chemo /Rad no surgery. Treatment finished 8/03. Doing great!
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#16528 10-11-2004 06:50 PM | Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,384 Likes: 1 | Hello Francesca,
Your post caused me to reflect upon my behavior and feelings during those first months. I was bitter, resentful, in pain, fearful, couldn't eat very well, couldn't taste very well, financially hurt, and emotionally bare - exposed as weak and vulnerable, in need of other people for survival. All these things caused me to be rather snippy. On edge all the time and sometimes not fun to be around. My wife managed to put up with me and ignore (or understand) most of the things I said. At the same time I was able to recognise and sense a much greater feeling of love between us, which continues today. Let yourself have time for YOU. Don't harbor guilt nor feel responsible. He likely will get over this in time. Compassion and understanding are wonderful but you don't need to make it your problem.
Take care
Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.
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