| Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 188 Senior Member (100+ posts) | Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Jun 2011 Posts: 188 | here's what i learned about our family leave act: it will hold a job spot for you. when i returned, my clients had been reassigned to other associates in my firm, which of course had to be done while i was out with my dad. i had my job for another year attempting to rebuild my portfolio in a dead market before being layed off, which frankly was merciful for me as my boss was just a really sad actor that made a bad situation worse.
but here's the bright side: i'm pursuing my dream as a glass artist. planning during my dad's palliative care stage is NOT any easier, but i can work my own hours. i "planned" to retire in 10 year, but life had another idea. frankly the work and time with my family is more rewarding than any contracts i won.
think about what you really want and need, it did work for me, and i never ever expected it could, fwiw.
Caco CG to Dad. Biopsy 5/11 non-op, SCC stage IV poorly dif at base of tongue with nodes, quit smoking in '85, ChemoRad began 8/2/11 ended 9/22/11 with NED. Distant mets 11/11, clinical trials. War raging on!
| | | | Joined: Mar 2013 Posts: 21 Member | OP Member Joined: Mar 2013 Posts: 21 | An update, at long last. Things did work out. I was able to get intermittent leave through FMLA. The intermittent leave allows me to take time off only when I need it for up to a year. I had no idea it was even an option until I pressed the HR person at my company. It worked out really well, and I could even accrue paid time off and reserve bank time during while taking FMLA.
The oncologist's Nurse Practitioner filled out the form so well that no one ever questioned me about it again, and my team at work has been very supportive.
For others going through this, please don't underestimate the shock and complete life change that happens after diagnosis. I was such a mess that I had a hard time communicating the situation with my company and colleagues, but that was partly because I had no idea what the situation was. They asked me how much time I needed off from work, and I had no idea. We were still deciding on the treatment and had no idea how mom would tolerate it. I also completely underestimated the emotional toll that it would take on me. Doctor's visits are exhausting, physically and emotionally, for both patient and caregiver.
PS: I'm interested in the long term implications career-wise of taking time off, but it is what it is, I guess.
Last edited by littlebird; 10-05-2013 02:33 PM.
Little Bird, CG to mother, diagnosed March 15, 2013, age 70, non-smoker, non-drinker BOT, HPV+ Cisplatin and 35 days of radiation, completed June 13, 2013. Looks like they got it all. (knock on wood) | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | Littlebird - so glad to see your update and that you and your Mom have come through so well. I was a mess, too - when I first became my son's caregiver. Sometimes help comes in unexpected places. Your oncologist's Nurse Practitioner sounds like a real jewel to have helped you out so well with filling out the form and it's good that your work team has be so supportive. Thanks for updating us!
Anne-Marie CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
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