I don't know what to do... I am saddened, depressed, frustrated and even angry that my husband is still smoking during his treatment for oral cancer. When he was diagnosed in jan I convinced him to see the doctor about a prescription to help him quit. He was prescribed Wellbutrin and told within a couple of weeks he would lose the urge to smoke. He did greatly reduce the number of cigarettes he smoked per day, but never quit altogether. I asked him to check back in with the doctor to discuss the fact he hadn't been able to quit, but he didn't do it. Now he had to take a break from radiation that started on march 20 and ended April 1st. By the 29th he started feeling a lot better and of course he amped up his smoking a lot. I hear him going out to the garage on a regular basis again to smoke... I don't think I can do this again! I know it sounds hard hearted, but I feel like he's asking for another cancer. He hasn't even been told that this cancer is gone! I don't know what to do, this whole thing has been so hard, I am heartbroken and so are our 3 kids watching this every day...I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do...

Laurie, it takes many people multiply attempts before they are successful in quitting for good. There are many places to go to for help online. If he continues to smoke he will eventually have more serious health problems. Smoking is an addiction, its very hard to quit but he must do it.

I was a former smoker. The only times I had quit were when I was pregnant with my children but I returned to smoking. When I first got sick I was in shock and didnt quit immediately. While driving down the turnpike to have my feeding tube consult, the light bulb finally went on. I did this to myself and put my childrens future in jeopardy because of my habit. I then got angry at how stupid I had been to smoke. I had been reaching for another cigarette when all of this hit me. I told my son, thats it I quit, I will never ever smoke again. I wont let cigarettes kill me. I took the pack of cigs and crumpled them up and threw them right out the window. That was completely out of character as I never littered. Its now almost 6 years later and I have never smoked since that day.

Your husband needs to have this same realization hit him for him to get it into his head he wants to quit. Thats the very first step, to get it set in your mind that you do not want to use tobacco anymore. Most quitters replace one habit with another. Chewing tobacco is NOT any better, neither is pipe tobacco. He will need to break his cycle of when he smokes and replace it with something positive. Its not easy but if he wants to quit he will.

Here is a link to the CDC's Tips From Former Smokers. I worked with them last year makign radio ads about using a feeding tube because of my smoking habit. I have also made a couple videos and a commercial for TRUTH.com. Maybe if he sees what some other former smokers go thru it will help to convince him he does not want to end up like these people. I lost half of my bottom jaw and now am disfigured all because I smoked. I would hate to see someone else suffer like I have when it is preventable. Everybody always thinks "Oh, that cant happen to me, other people have problems like that and get those kinds of things", well thats what I thought too until I got sick and realized I AM the other guy. Maybe by seeing what I look like after going thru OC 3 times (and I quit before my first round of treatments ever started) it will help him to quit. He can also take a look at the others who have all kinds of serious health issues. Eventually he will be living a life with medical issues and limitations if he doesnt wake up and quit. The very next cig, or maybe the next pack is what could be the one that does the damage. By quitting now he reduces his risks for getting sick again.

Tips From Former Smokers/Christine's Profile

Best wishes!!!

Laurie,

Have him try the Vapor. You start with 24grams and end up at 0 grams. It's nicotine but none of the other junk in it. We have it in FL and many many people are using it to quit smoking and it works I used it.

Try it...it works...

Connie

I was a smoker for 35 years. The last 19 I smoked cigars. I went to the electronic cigarette last August (ironically I felt the swollen lymph node about the same time). Anyway. I've been able to quit tobacco all together.

"T"

Not to be a smart ass but why exactly is he choosing to go through treatments if he refuses to quit smoking? Seems like a waste of time, money and resources. This cancer WILL kill him if he doesn't stop smoking. I have been here long enough on these boards to know that.

It just really makes me mad and saddens me when I have seen so many people on this site die from this disease who did everything and anything they could to fight this.

I seriously don't know what I would do if I was in your position but I certainly would be having some pretty frank discussions with him and his doctors. I just would really have a hard time standing by watching someone I love so much kill themselves.

I'm also tentatively an advocate for e cigs; with just water vapor and nicotine, the carcinogens from tobacco are gone, but the addiction to the nicotine is being serviced. Obviously there are some unknowns about them right now, but I have always been a big advocate of harm reduction if you can't get rid of the actual harm. ( Good harm reduction would be programs like needle exchange programs for addicts and methadone programs). So this would, for him in this situation, be a suitable alternative that would deal with the addiction which is the driver here. Most smokers feel guilty about their situation and are physically unable to quit. It is not always something that can be dealt with through some of the programs that people will recommend.

Patches, gums, etc. that deliver nicotine only work in about 7% of the people that try them ( a dirty little secret) because the FDA will not allow an adequate dosage of nicotine to be put into an over the counter device.

e cigarettes are available all over the internet. I get ads for them in my mail box every day.

I was so encouraged by all these posts and the success of the E-cigarette. I looked it up on Amazon (OCF's link) but some mention vapor only and others mention E-Cigarette but nothing about Vapor. My son Steve is the one that smokes (not Paul from my signature) and I sure would like to find something that could help him. I am a little confused right now and would like it if somebody could give me a suggestion so I could pick the right one to get. Thanks! You all give me so much hope! (If it's against the rules to mention a website, PM would be fine.)

Laurie - I think I may have shifted (hi-jacked) the focus of this thread to my own concerns so please forgive me. You have some great suggestions above. It's so hard to see someone you care about having such a rough time in recovery and it must be hard on your children, too. I received a really nice PM from one of the posters above with info on the E-Cig and would be glad to share it with you if you think this is something that your husband might want to consider. I hope things get better for both of you, soon.

Anne-Marie and Laurie Ann

Look up Vapin in the Cape, it's in Cape Coral Florida that's where I got mine. I know they take orders for out of state. The one I used was Vapor. I tried the patches, the pill, the gum nothing worked, but this worked.

I started out using the 24 grams and within 6 months I was at 0 grams, some people I know are stilling using the 0 grams for over a year. I guess it's habit of having something in their hand.

Hope this helps.

Connie

Thank you everyone for all your advice and help! I am printing out some of your information to present him the facts and some options (Brian and Connie.) I swear that I feel better just venting and knowing that there are people who care!
This site has been a lifeline!
Anne-Marie, thanks, I'd love whatever info you have!

Christine, I can't imagine what more it's going to take to get him to realize what he's doing to himself and his family. I keep thinking if all of this isn't enough incentive what will be!

Wanda, I have never been addicted to cigarettes, so my way of thinking kind of parallels yours. I do know that he started smoking at age 15 and he's 50 now so the habit is definitely ingrained. I am praying he will be able to quit.