| Joined: Mar 2013 Posts: 1 Member | OP Member Joined: Mar 2013 Posts: 1 | For seven years I was a single mom of eight kids, but on Oct 26th of 2012 my beau friend of 6 years and I got married. On Nov 12th he went in for surgery to remove part of his tongue and a neck dissection. It was his third occurrence of oral cancer. The first time was in 1998, then in 2006. I was with him in 2006. He had outpatient surgery to remove the growth on his tongue.
This time however, was a completely different story. He ended up with a tracheostomy, loss of 9/10th of his tongue, floor of his mouth rebuilt from the pectoral muscle, a complete neck dissection, and a feeding tube. Recovery was long and difficult.
On Feb 7th he felt like he was drowning. A trip to the ER followed a few days later with a biopsy revealing new tumor growth in his throat and neck. The doc said he may have 4 - 5 months left.
Honestly, I don't know how he can go on for much longer. I hate that he has asked me to pray that he go "home." He has various holes where stuff is draining from his neck. He feels like his life is constant personal maintenance. Feedings, trach cleaning, drainage cleaning, and repeat. The drainage needs to be cleaned about every two hours. He's on hospice care now and they have given him a comfort pack. He doesn't want to take morphine because it makes him sleepy. But he's sleepy all the time anyway. As soon as he sits down in the chair he falls asleep.
For the most part he hasn't been in much pain, just an uncomfortable feeling of drowning or like someone is slowly squeezing his neck. But yesterday he started getting intense shooting pains in his head. I hate that!
He's the love of my life and I just hate watching - and waiting. I feel so ill equipped to handle this. Every night I roll over and wrap my arms around him and am afraid I might find his arms cold. When I leave the house and come back, I'm afraid he might be gone.
I wish I knew what to expect, but no one seems to know.
Thanks for having a place where I can just share what is on my heart.
Terri wife to Mike
Last edited by Terricamp; 03-24-2013 06:39 PM.
| | | | Joined: Mar 2013 Posts: 5 Member | Member Joined: Mar 2013 Posts: 5 | I'm so sorry. Nothing much I can say, but wish you strength.
2/13/13 biopsy tumor on palate 2/20/13 dx stg 4 adenocarcinoma minor salivary glnds 2/22/13 seen at cancer center 3/14/13 surgery w/obturator placement 3/22/13 new path rprt - downgraded to stg 1 - had expected radiationm, now not deemed necessary | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 5 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 5 | Hi there I know he's in hospice etc... But did they ever radiate him? I'm sorry he's suffering and you have to watch. I've been there too many times recently - with a friend peritoneal cancer and my dad - stroke & pneumonia. It's devastating. I'm just hoping he isn't in a hopice when he could still be treated. Has he been seen at a ccc? Hugs
Cheryl : Irritation - 2004 BX: 6/2008 : Inflam. BX: 12/10, DX: 12/10 : SCC - LS tongue well dif. T2N1M0. 2/11 hemigloss + recon. : PND - 40 nodes - 39 clear. 3/11 - 5/11 IMRT 33 + cis x2, PEG 3/28/11 - 5/19/11 3 head, 2 chest scans - clear(fingers crossed) HPV-, No smoke, drink, or drugs, Vegan
| | | | Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 757 Likes: 1 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Jan 2006 Posts: 757 Likes: 1 | Terri,
I'm so sorry to hear of Mike's situation. Is he being treated at a comprehensive cancer center? Has he gone for a second opinion? It sounds like he has been through so much already and I can understand how he feels, but it doesn't make it any easier on you.
I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Susan
SCC R-Lateral tongue, T1N0M0 Age 47 at Dx, non-smoker, casual drinker, HPV- Surgery: June 2005 RT: Feb-Apr 2006 HBOT: 45 in 2008; 30 in 2013; 30 in 2022 -> Total 105! Recurrence/Surgeries: Jan & Apr 2010 Biopsy 2/2011: Moderate dysplasia Surgery 4/2011: Mild dysplasia Dental issues: 2013-2025 (ORN of lower jaw)
| | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Welcome to OCF. So sorry to read about Mikes long battle with OC. Being a caregiver is not an easy job. Im so sorry that your new husband is terminal. Wishing you both courage and strength to take things day by day. ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive | | |
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