Bette I am so sorry to read this and that you are now part of this subgroup. Like you said, he is no longer suffering and he was so courageous as were you. He was fortunate to have you by his side. Please take time for yourself and we are here for you.

My heart goes out to you in the loss of your husband, i lost my husband joel 6 months ago and also was the love of my life, almost 30 years married, i have learned to stay busy or when i am home alone, i tend to miss him so much and think about him. mornings seem to be worse for me for some reason. i am trying to pick up the pieces with the help of good family and friends, but i have to believe he is not in pain anymore and my faith helps to keep me going.

The days drag on. The nights are even longer. It's so very hard to go from being a 24/7 caregiver to having nothing. I miss him so much.

Oh Bette, I know you miss Reggie.
You are in the position none of us caregivers want to be in. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you.
Do you have a support group of girlfriends who you can spend the days with? Meeting for lunch and coffees. Walks, where you can just talk about Reggie and your grief. Are any family nearby? Or can you go stay with family for a while?
I know you have to get on with your life, but grieve and talk about Reggie to whoever will listen.
Chemically assisted sleep helps too.
I'm thinking of you Bette,
Tammy

I feel your pain, i am still struggling with missing my husband as well...were never apart for very long...a lot of emptiness. I am doing my best to work through it, but staying busy is what is working for me, took up zumba to try and let out my frustrations and to help get me in shape and be able to sleep at night, it is lonely at night, since my daughter is grown and not here with me. It has been 6 months for me, and i still cry when i am home alone or if someone i know talks about him, not sure when that will get better.

I am so lost. To go from a 24/7 caregiver to nothing is so very hard. To loose the love of my life so very suddenly when I thought he would pull through and get better is so very hard. The two of us had so many plans for when he got better. Traveling in our new motorhome and enjoying his recent retirement from 43 years with the phone company. I just miss him so very much and wish I could get a muligan. I cry all the time and need him in my life. I hope someday this will all get better....

Dear Bette, I have been thinking of you. I know this is very difficult for you and it is still early days. Would you consider seeing a grief counsellor?
I think it is normal to cry all the time at this stage. Hell, I cried for weeks after each of Kris's diagnosis. But the important thing is that you have longer and longer times of not crying. Would Reggie like to see you so distraught? I'm sure he wants you to live and enjoy your life, full of memories of your life together.
You can still use that motor home. Grab one of your girlfriends- maybe she is widowed too - and do those trips you had planned. Take a grandchild with you for company. Forge new memories and share Reggie with them.
You are a strong woman. You will get through this.
My thoughts are with you,
Tammy

Ive also been thinking of you, Bette. Was hoping you were able to find some peace of mind thru this tragedy. I just cant imagine how hard it must be for you.

One of my close friends lost her husband very unexpectedly. She was devastated. It took her a very long time even with seeing a grief counselor to come to terms with losing her husband. Its not something that has a timetable. It will take lots of time to adjust to such a traumatic major life event.

You have many friends here so please dont be a stranger. We all care.

(((HUGS)))

Bette - it will get better and time will soften the hurt you are feeling. Stay close to family and friends that can help you share the grief. I'm sure Reggie is close to you in spirit, holding you in his arms and helping to soften the sadness. Such good and thoughtful suggestions you have received above. Take your own time to get thru the sadness and small steps toward the happier moments you shared with Reggie. Stay with us here so we know how you are doing.

Just thought I would check in and let everyone know that I am struggling. Life is so out of balance. Not having Reggie here with me doing just the ordinary of things together is very painful. I have decided to go seek the consultation of a medium/pyshic. I hope that will help with this terrible guilt that I carry with me. If only I had been awake the night he passed maybe i could have kept him alive. I know he didn't want to die. We had so any plans and dreams.................