I can't stop crying. I finally can talk again after radiation and I sound nothing like I did before radiation.
I think part of what is happening is that now I don't have all my focus on waiting to speak again everything else is catching up with me.
Anything will set me off. My brother was watching a DVD we watched together before this happened and I started crying. And I can't control it.
I'm just sick of being sad and REALLY sad and disapointed that my speech is worse now when it was the same after my operation.
I'm scared I'll never sound the same.

You know, I still burst into tears at unexpected times. It is very frustrating. I find that the meditative breathing helps. Swearing vehemently also seems help (but is less elegant). Are you able to get out for a walk in the park or just on your street? Walking our dog was VERY theraputic for my husband.

It was well over a month for him to be vaguely comfortable speaking, it is was pretty raspy for a good while after that, so I'm pretty sure that time will help you.

Hugs from Ohio to you.
Maria

My wife and I still tear up at certain songs that were on the radio during my TX. I agree with Jen's advice to you in a different thread to start speech therapy. Insurance usually covers it once you get a prescription from your doctor. A speech therapist makes an amazing difference in recovery.
Charm

I find myself to be WAY more emotional since this all started. To be honest I think that for me it comes from a place of wanting to not hide them anymore and for people to really understand how I'm feeling. But it doesn't take much to set me off and it is a bit frustrating that I can't seem to be able to control it very well at all. There are some times when it was happening with coworkers that it was kind of uncomfortable to look like I was super emotional but really it was something that popped into my mind having nothing to do with the conversation at hand but about the lisp and slurred speech that keeps getting worse. Maybe it is just a side effect from chemo and rads. I dunno!

I remember being very emotional through my whole cancer,and even the first year seemed overwhelming, even with medicaton. Things are much better now. I never had raditaion but from what I read hear the people that have had it says things will get better. I am almost 3 years out from surgery and my speach is still changeing.
As far as being more emotional and crying at the drop of a hat, I think in going through what we have, and facing our fears, our mortality, our weaknesses and strengths we just can't put on the plastic face anymore. At least that is how it feels with me. I don't have the strength or desire to be the least bit superficial of phony. Life and death are just to real. No one has a guarantee for tomorrow. When I really had to face that, it changed me.

Maria, made me laugh about the cursing. Wendys, lovely poignant description, thank you. I never had a speech problem, and have been very fortunate to have come out of my journey with no obvious outward changes, but I do empathise tremendously.

Recently in the waiting room of my Oncologist's, a man exited who had that unmistakable 'recently baked head' look, and I really regret not extending a hand and introducing myself, just because I looked just like that two years ago.

Oh well, next time.

When I watch TV or read an article or watch a movie I will tear up at almost any sad scene. I never used to be this emotional. I don't consider myself to be depressed or upset with having had this cancer but I am definately more emotional post Tx than I was pre. Whenever (even today 6 years post Tx) I give a speech about my ordeal and I get to the part where I describe how "Dr Death" told me I had Stage IV oral cancer and what my survival chances would be, I choke up and have to compose myself before I continue talking and that's after years of repeatedly telling myself not to get emotional when I get to that spot! I've always wondered what was it that has changed me?

Being a cancer survivor should really come with a rule book and directions! I think after cancer we all tend to be very emotional and on edge. Its not easy getting used to living life as a different person. Try your very best to look on the bright side of things and think positive. It will help. Have you spoken to a therapist? How about considered anxiety meds? Those tools may also be helpful.

Please add a signature when you have time.

Being emotional means we have feelings and can easily empathize with others' pain and that's not a bad thing. Crying brings a form of relief and holding it in isn't good so let the tears flow. It can be very cleansing. It takes time to recover and sometimes you have to take a moment to give yourself some compassion for all you've been through. But there are things you can do as others have suggested and some pretty good ones, too! Whatever works is good. That DVD your brother had - maybe you should switch it for some of Tyler Perry's Madea movies. And I wouldn't hesitate to ask your doctor or therapist about anxiety meds as Christine suggested. Everybody needs a little extra help at some time or other. Things will get better. They really will.

I was the caregiver and I cry at the drop of a hat too. I mean..it's just life. We are meant to be caring, compassionate people and we feel others pain almost as much as we feel our own. But in the quiet times when it's just you and yourself, give yourself permission to mourn a way of life you lost, but then face today and celebrate being alive!!
Life will NEVER be the same for any of us, but I know for Kevin it is sometimes so different he's just plain angry. There are times he shuts down and we talk it out or he handles while he's at work in Alaska and his evenings are quiet.
I worry about things and have had sickness after sickness so am needing to learn to get the worry under control. It's really not helping my immune system as I'm sure our Erik would tell me!!
Take a deep breath when it gets too heavy and, yes, I have found I can have a real potty mouth sometimes and like I've said in the past, crying in the shower seems to help!! ;-)
Blessings,
Kathy