Everyone who has found this forum should consider themselves lucky. They're not alone as they go through their cancer war. Finding this web site late, I only knew one other guy who had oral cancer. This made my search for answers difficult. I had a squamous cell tumor on the tonsil pillar. The tumor was about 2cm but had spread in the soft tissue. Surgery and radiation was the order. Surgery was easy, I slept through it. The radiation was not as joyous. See, you folks are not alone.
All in all, when you look back, it's a life changing event that doesn't seem as hard as when you are going through it. When the docs say that it will take a year to get over most of the effects, it takes a year, not a day less.
I've joined clubs before, willingly. This club no one wants to join. If I can help anyone with their membership apprenticeship, just let me know. Seems there are a lot of great folks out there who can help too. You are not alone and yes, you will make it. Flyboy28n

Hi welcome to the club no one wants to join..as you say finding others to vent with is a big help.. now you have found us don't go away.. we are a crazy crowd.. it's not all serious stuff..
we don't quit on anyone here.. we never know what help we may need ourselves along this rocky road...
Take Care
Helen

I didn't know anyone with oral cancer prior to my diagnosis and like you, this organization has changed my life, I will always be a supporter. I come here everyday and put my 2 pennies worth in.
Great People...

Welcome to the "Club" flyboy. I am glad you found it even if it didn't benefit you then as much as it will now. I am sure you will prove invaluable to the many traveling this journey and your experiences will help others through similar events. I'm glad you are doing well and wish you many, many more years ahead!

Ed

Hey Flyboy,
Thanks for checking in. I appreciate what you said about the time it takes to heal. Dan is 8 weeks post treatment and still cannot eat and his throat is still terribly raw. It's good to know that he is probably on schedule and as time goes by, he will feel better. It's hard to have patience. You think once treatment ends, so does the pain...so not true! We look forward to a "new normal" life soon!
Debbie

When I was a new member of this club, I benefitted a lot from the support and advice given by the 'senior members'.Now it is amazing that my role has gradually changed when occasionally I could be the supporter and advisor to young ones here. I feel so happy that I can contribute. To those who are so lucky/unlucky to have joined us, I can assure you that the rainbow after the thunderstorm is really beautiful. To me, the 'new normal' is even better than my old normal. When I first registered on the OCF, I just put reading as my only hobby thinking that I wouldn't have any energy to do other things but recently I have added swimming, hiking and shopping and I plan to include more like going to concerts and movies, etc. Life has never been so colorful and I treasure every moment I spend with my family and friends. Going back to my full time job after 7 months of sick leave has been a wise choice for me and for those who do not plan to work any more, they should pick up the old hobbies or develop new ones. I believe that the more we move, the more energy we generate.

Karen.

Karen,

I absolutely agree. Before I was diagnosed, I was in the habit of spending 50-60 hours a week at work (which was pretty much the norm in my business). My illness caused me to think hard about how I was using my time, and it was sometime around then that I heard the saying, "No one goes to their grave wishing they had spent more time in the office."

After I started feeling better, I worked out a plan where I could operate on mostly a "non-overtime" work week so as to leave time for volunteer work, travel, musical commitments and other things I felt were important. More recently, I cut back to a part-time work schedule to allow even more room for the things that keep me recharged.

Cancer has a way of teaching you that every day is a gift. If someone told me I could go back 15 years and avoid having cancer, but that I would have to take my chances and maybe miss out on all the great things that have happened to me since then, I would say "no" in a heartbeat.

Cathy,

I so enjoyed your post! I used to work, work, work my life away. I was driven to succeed feeling as though I was making it up for the years wasted in my youth. When my mother was terminally ill things changed. I have found consulting projects that have carried me but I just can't get excited about the daily grind with all the nights and weekends working on projects that are created by those who don't plan as well and conjure up spur of the moment scenarios just to feel valuable.

Then when I got cancer and realized I have been spending weeks on the road, even though I managed 3-4 day work weeks, life seemed to steer me towards being home with the family at night. I have two boys, 13 & 15, and they have lived across the country from each other for 3 years. They both live with me and my wife now and partly because I requested this from their birth mom, not knowing how long this would go on and wondering if it could be our last year or two together.

Indeed, every day is a gift and I would not change anything in my 48 years (and 24 days)! Thanks for the great reminder.

Ed

Hey Guys,

I have always been very laid back, but I have found more appreciation for the little things people do. And I seem to have this new intuition that tells me when someone needs some support. Very cool. I very much like the new normal for me.

Lisa in KS

I've always been a pretty nice person, and considered a good mother and wife. During this year my diagnosis of cancer has made me even more considerate of people, more patient. And being a mother has taken on a whole new meaning for me. We all think we talk to and spend time with our kids, but after a "safety shattering" experience such as cancer, our talks and interaction have taken on a depth I don't believe we would have found without this disease. I am CLOSER with my children and husband now, yet a year ago before my diagnosis I would have argued everyone that no mother was closer to her children then I was. I was wrong. Mothers and fathers with cancer are closer to their children then mothers and fathers that never experience cancer. So, I will continue to thumb my nose at the cancer (with my fingers crossed behind my back of course) and take any good it might throw my way........I turn the tables on the demon and laugh in it's face! Well, little exaggeration there............it still scares the CRAP out of me but I don't cower in front of it anymore. Thats a giant step!