To Gerri and Amy....hugs.

Deb

This is an amazing forum. I think that this forum is very appropriate and while we pray we won't have to be an active participant, we are all realists and know it happens. I love reading your posts and hearing your courage and strength. I pray that you all continue to find some peace in each day and that your memories will stay close to your hearts. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
Love,
Kathy

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread and for all the support. I've only been here such a short time but I don't know where I'd be without you all... <3

It's coming up on three months next week.
There are still places I cannot go... our old neighborhood, the amazing burger joint that we loved, our local Sam's club... We did so many things together. I am so grateful for what we had.
I did take my son to the drive in theater last weekend. The three of us used to go about every other week when Matt was well. It felt good to go.
Still not sleeping worth a darn, even with help, and I'm having a bi*** of a time unpacking and settling into the new place.
Slowly but surely life does go on...

Life does go on, as much as we want the rest of the world to stop when ours does :-/ A friend of mine gave me a sympathy card when my mom passed away that hit every emotion in my body like a lightning bolt. The cover quote is by James Joyce: "They lived and loved, and laughed and left." The inside simply states "and the world will never be the same." Couldn't be more true.

Take as much time as you need to create your new life. Make it yours. There are no deadlines or expectations that you have to meet. Be patient with yourself. I am trying to do the same...

I realized last night that it had been three months since Matt's passing. That's just 12 short weeks. Though I will tell you, each day feels like it takes three to pass by. The time has been creeping along. When I step back and realize how short a time it's been, I do try to take it easy on myself.
You're right Amy, there aren't any deadlines to meet.
Today we celebrate my son's 14th birthday. Matt was always so excited to shop for him, and had the best time watching him open presents.
We started our day with breakfast at Cracker Barrel, spending a few hours at the office, then off early to shop! Determined to have a great day

My mother passed away from oral cancer on January 21, 2011. I was lucky enough to find this website before she passed, but still I was not prepared for how hard and how often the cancer kept coming back. This forum is a fantastic web of heartfelt caring and combined knowledge of so many who have gone through this and it was so very helpful and supportive for me and will be for all who find it. I don't visit here as often as I used to but I still think of the OCF members and still pray for healing, courage and strength for everyone.

I am so glad to see this section for selfish reasons I guess. After Jim died and I went back to work, I realized I didn't have anyone to talk to as this site was for the people with cancer and caregivers and family going through the process. I was at such a loss for "what to do now".

My person was gone, cancer wasn't in my life in a physical form, but it took the love of my life from me. I couldn't figure out who to talk to during my lunch hour - Before he left, I was always reading and perusing on this site during lunch trying to glean information to take home with me and tell or help Jim with what I learned. No more was that necessary - - - I needed someone to understand my grief, my loss, my overwhelming sadness...no one could fill that for me...no one like OCF.

I didn't want to come back here...but once a member of the club, always a member. I worked really hard to put me back together, different, but together. I found a young widows site (if you can call 50 young), but it just didn't seem like anyone really knew me and Jim - not like OCF, so I never posted, but just read.

So today during my lunch, I allawed myself to drift back to "when he was here" and I logged on today. When I saw this section, I was relieved and happy - it's like I've come back to a very familiar, but yet different place. No longer am I posting PET results and asking questions about controlling pain....now I am a part of the "life does go on" club in spite of what has happened. Good things did come out of all of this - most importantly, I was blessed to have taken care of a wonderful man that I loved very much and who loved me. I learned that life can change on a dime and don't take one day for granted.

Thank you Brian for allowing this section - I'll be back more to help and to be helped as life really does go on.

Hugs and Love to all of you,
Paula

Paula-Glad to see you! We all come back here it seems. It's like coming home....

Paula, love that you have come back. I didn't join until after my mom had passed, so I missed out on all the amazing support and information during a time when I really could have used it. But it is so important to be in the company of people that do truly understand what you're feeling... the entire process from learning of the diagnosis, going through the horrible surgeries and treatments, and also in the last days into mourning. Even though I am still new and trying to help where I can, I take great comfort in knowing others have been where I have and am today. Thanks for commenting and sharing your thoughts. I hope to see you on here again soon!