During/after treatment my dentist gave me some type of topical numbing treatment to use before meals. This was a LIFESAVER - 100x better than the magic mouthwash. I would dab it on my ulcers/sore spots and it would stay numb for about 15 minutes. I will look up what is in it when I get home so I can share.

To give you a little hope... I am about 6 and a half months post radiation and chemo, and I am feeling great. I am drinking hot coffee and eating a bagel as we speak. I felt terrible for the first 4 or 5 weeks, then the progress was gradual. I really started feeling better around month 4, but once I returned to work and started working full time again, it surprisingly seemed to help me. My fatigue level is great - I do not feel too tired to do much. I do still deal with some issues, though:
- radiated area still tender/painful to touch
- lymphodema
- extreme dry mouth
- speech impediment
- occasional sore throat
- trismus in jaw (which i have to stretch daily)
- Cannot eat/drink very acidic or spicy foods (I can tolerate some spice and acidity though)

Those really are my only physical issues now. Not too bad! Keep your hope up it will get better. I actually feel like my normal self again!

John

Okay, from your response to Christine, your plan is to keep worrying and worrying about what may happen. That usually does not work out too well, but it is a popular one. I have to give your credit for your remarkably candid self assessment of your ability to implement a healthy mental strategy. And there is lots and lots to worry about.
Radiation is the gift that keeps on giving. When we talk about the 3 to 4 weeks after radiation, it usually means that the fatigue, the nausea, all the pain that we associated with the radiation continues after the radiation and sometimes intensifies. Plus suddenly you are not seeing a doctor every day and there are all these symptoms - could the cancer be coming back already? Maybe you will never be able to sing again? You can worry about all these things and more.

Or you could get a grip on yourself, realize that being [quote]in pain, constant pain for 3 months before my surgery, then I was in worse constant pain after my surgery, then when I healed from that everything went backwards and I'm in constant pain again[/quote]is pretty much par for the course and not only unremarkable but actually pretty good.

As far as motivation to get your life back, you could take a look at what Christine has been through - and what she does now. She even has sympathy for you.
Charm

I'm just scared. Scared that it will get worse. It's been so hard not to give up already.
I've got 4 treatments left after today. I can't really tolerate solid foods do I've been eating boost with benecalorie added.
I have very little trouble swallowing. And I just hope I don't go backwards a whole lot to go forwards because I'm afraid I'll just give up

Here are some solid foods I was able to tolerate towards the end..
cream of wheat with lots of butter
avocado with olive oil
cottage cheese
custard
sweet potatoes with butter

Hope it helps some!

John, we are all scared and have gone thru all kinds of emotions. Sometimes its necessary to take a step back and see things from a different point of view. Try to think clinically, which is to think of this situation as if you have a disease and this is what is necessary to cure it. Take it day by day and at least attempt to not be bothered by things out of your control.

Worrying will not make you feel one bit better. It only adds unneeded stress to your life and will actually make you feel worse. Maintaining a positive attitude helps you to stay calm and to be able to think clearly about the situation. Once you accept that the only thing you have control over is your intake of enough nutrition and hydration it makes it so much easier to handle mentally. Its a real skill to avoid thinking the "what if's". Every time your mind begins to go there, go do something positive for yourself like drink an ensure or bottle of water. That can be a positive way for you to fight back.

There are only 4 left and you have done excellent! When I was at your point, my 17 year old son practically carried me to a wheelchair and pushed me into the hospital. The doctor took one look at me and admitted me for malnutrition and dehydration. Now you can understand why I keep sounding like a broken record about getting a minimum of 2500 calories and 48 oz of water every single day. Im trying to help you avoid the problems that I went thru.

If you are in pain, ask for pain meds. At this point in your treatment most of us were on the fentanyl patch. Its the strongest pain killer on the market. I was at about 150mg at the end of my treatments for maybe a week before I went back down to 100mg. Do NOT suffer in pain! It doesnt help the patient to be hurting, its actually detrimental so make sure you speak up if you hurt.

You WILL return back to your old life, you WILL sing again. It just takes time. There have been several musicians here who have gone back to their careers after radiation treatments. It all comes down to the better you do with nutrition and hydration, the easier it will be for you to recover. Since radiation continues to work even after you stop treatments, you can count on the next 2 or 3 weeks to still be difficult. After that you will slowly begin to feel a little better every day. It will be 2 steps forward and one step back for the first 2 or 3 months post rads. The rule of thumb is that it takes one month of recovery for every week of radiation. Most patients are able to return to office type jobs 2 or 3 months after finishing. By the 4th of July you will be feeling alot better and by Labor Day you will be doing even better.

Hang in there, Im in your corner (even if you do get mad with me)!!!

I'm scared every day of my life, John, and I am three years out! No, my life is not the same as it was before I was diagnosed, but I do have a life, and I am so grateful for that. You WILL get through this even though some days will be absolute hell. I know that it's easy to say "don't worry" because of course you will worry. Things will get better, even though we can't say exactly when. We are all different, but we have all been through what you have been through, and we are all here for you.

You will get through it! Dont be scared put all your inner strength in to getting through the last weeks of treatment . It gets better I struggled with the last few sessions you are mentally and physically wrecked, but then you can concentrate on getting better. I thought I was never going to eat or taste food properly again and slept so much, but nearly a year later I'm getting back to normal and so will you.
Chin up
Jayne

I'm not upset with anyone its just territory uncharted. I spoke with my oncologist today and she insisted that from the day it is over I will start healing. She said by the time July rolls around ( when I have to go back to work) I'll most likely at the very least be able to talk without having my tongue be in pain.
It's funny how you kind of prioritize things on your life subconsciously because you have no choice.
I could care about eating normally again. I've grown quit accustomed to looking at eating in the same way I look at putting gas in my car. If in a month I can talk, my tongue will be in less pain and I can work at getting my singing voice back I'll be fine.
I don't think I've lost much taste and I only have 4 more treatments to go. I can still taste the strawberry flavor of the boost shakes and the flavor of poweraide when my tongue can tolerate it. I also have very little trouble swallowing. The mornings are the worst but once I get my throat moist I'm
Good to go.
Next week at this time I'll be having my last treatment!

John of Arc

Now that sounds better. BTW, your screen name is very clever. Your oncologist is correct that you will start healing the day TX stops, we're just giving you a heads up that the effects linger. When you stop putting dirt into a bucket of water under a faucet, the water does start getting clearer right away but it's still muddy for a long time. Same thing here.
Glad you are getting your mojo back. Your thoughts of giving up are quite common and normal. Actually you are doing fine compared to some. Take a look at this OCF news release on a more troubling aspect of this disease
Suicide rates
Hang in there. You can do this
Charm

John, when those scary or depressing thoughts come, try just giving them a time limit. Like maybe 2 minutes or less and then switch to more positive thoughts. Instead of thinking about the negative things that could happen, think of all the good things that could happen - and you have already listed some of the good things! It will get better.
Charm - that's a great article! It really helps to be aware or how much depression plays a part in oral cancer recovery. It is important to remember, too - that depression is temporary. Suicide is permanent. There are things one can do about depression, and that's the good news.