| | Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 Platinum Member (300+ posts) |  Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 | Christine,
I LOVE the name of your new address! I admire you so much. You have shown (and still showing)so much strength and grace through what was probably the toughest time in your life. You are an inspiration to us caregivers. And what Sandy said is right...we are one big family here! You can't leave!!
Love,
Shelley
Caregiver to husband Ron. Throat Cancer. Finished 35 radiation treatments on 11/21/04. 8/2/11 small lesion on lower gum, laser Procedure to remove. 3/6/12 Doc. removed another lesion on outside of his neck. Did a skin graft from his chest to replace the skin on his neck. Went to Heaven on 6/24/12.
| | | | | Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 805 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 805 | LOVE it!!! Hope it is something that can work out. How far would it be from work? The new job?
Kathy wife/caregiver to:
Kevin age:53
Dx 7/15/11
HPV16+ SCC Stage IV BOT/R
Non smoker, casual drinker
7/27/11 Cistplatin, taxotere,5FU 2/3week sessions, followed by IMRT 125cgy x 60 (2x daily) w/Erbitux weekly. Last rad 10/26/11. Last Erbitux 10/27/11
PEG placed 9/1/11 Removed 11/8/11
Clear PET 10/12 and 10/13 and ct in 6/14
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | OP Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | Aww... y'all are makin' me tear up! Thanks  Kathy it's about thirty miles from the office. About 1/2 a mile from a dear friend and soon to be again co-worker, so we may carpool if I can get her to sleep in past 5 am! She's always been an early riser and early to work. There are a few level areas where a future dream house could be built on the property. Lots of peace and quiet, and an eastern view over the mountain tops for the sunrise. The existing house is quite liveable in the mean time. With Matt, I'd have already made an offer, but I find myself hesitating. Tonight there are thunderstorms blazing through and I am off to early sleep. Visiting step daughter & granddaughter tomorrow, will need all the strength I can gather.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | OP Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | Too depressed to get out of the house today. Second guessing everything. Taking a big time out.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 805 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 805 | So sorry Christine. I guess there will be days like this. I'm sure it's ok to give yourself a day off.
The land sounds just wonderful. Go with your heart. If you think Matt would have loved it, then go for it. Make a special place on the property that is your place to sit and talk to him! By the creek maybe?
No granddaughter visit today, but maybe tomorrow? Call some of those crazy girlfriends!! Wish I was closer!
Love ya'!
Kathy wife/caregiver to:
Kevin age:53
Dx 7/15/11
HPV16+ SCC Stage IV BOT/R
Non smoker, casual drinker
7/27/11 Cistplatin, taxotere,5FU 2/3week sessions, followed by IMRT 125cgy x 60 (2x daily) w/Erbitux weekly. Last rad 10/26/11. Last Erbitux 10/27/11
PEG placed 9/1/11 Removed 11/8/11
Clear PET 10/12 and 10/13 and ct in 6/14
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | Christine � there are certainly down days but there are good ones ahead, too. Take time to give yourself compassion and to heal at your own pace. Tomorrow the sun will shine and warm your heart. There is a really good little book of quotes by people who have suffered losses of one kind or another. It helped me through many �down� days while going through divorce and afterwards. It�s called �How to Survive the Loss of a Love� by McWilliams, Bloomfield and Colgrove. I found myself referring to various pages in the book from time to time and even started my own diary of similar thoughts encouraged by the ones in the book. It�s just a small, inexpensive little book and available at Amazon. I think it would help.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | OP Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 | Anne-Marie I have a list of scripture I wrote down in the days following Matt's death that I refer to often. It's great comfort when I remember to do it!
I did go visit my step daughter and grand daughter today. It was SO nice to spend time with them. I feel much better today.
The mood swings sure come on swiftly when grief strikes. I never know what will set it off. I journal daily, sometimes it seems hourly and that helps me a lot.
Several days have felt so incredibly long. I will feel like a week has passed and it's only been two days.
Work will be good for me. Definitely.
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 | Christine
I wish I could buy that much beautiful property and live up my a river/creek and listen to the water running and watch wildlife hell I'd probably run some kind of dog shelter for Pitbulls!
CG to Ron
Out of Pain 4/3/13
4/12-lung and under chin growth no treatment
1/13/12 lung biopsy
6/11 recur 6/30 resection #2 Clear margins
Clear 12/10
Surg 5/13/10 neck dis/nodes part gloss/flap R thigh all teeth out
RAD 30 8/10
DX 4/2/10 "Oral Cavity" T3NOMO
12/28/07 Non Hodg Lymph remission 7/08
passed away 4.3.15, RIP Ron, you are greatly missed
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | OP Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 280 |
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 | One journey ended and another one began. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...even when you don't want to put either one of 'em on the floor in the morning! Believe me, time will pass and you will heal. Be gentle with yourself. And, know that you are loved.
Sandy
xoxox
Ex-spouse MISDIAGNOSED with SCC-HN IVa 12/10. Tonsils out 1/11. 4 teeth out 2/11. TX Erbitux x2, IMRT x2 2/11. 2nd opinion-benign BCC-NOT CANCER 3/11. TX stopped 3/11. New doctors 4/11. ENT agrees with 2nd opinion 5/11. ENT scoped him-all clear 7/11. Ordered MRI anyway. MRI 8/22/11 Result-all clear.
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