Hello.. I am very nervous typing this... I do not talk about my cancer very often. I had a radicial neck dissection for soft tissue cancer of the right side of my neck (fibro sarcoma) when I was about 11 years old. Previous to that I had had 10 other surgeries for the same thing, but the radical neck resulted in the majority of my neck deformity. This is the first time in my life I have talked to anyone who had similar surgery done, I have never even seen someone else after this kind of surgery.

I'm 43 now, married 21 years and have 3 children. I am very grateful for all the good things I have in my life. But the appearance of my neck bothers me a great deal... I am also about 70 pounds overweight. Not sure why I am writing all of this... guess I just need to talk. I think I am having a mid-life crisis or something, but my neck disfigurement is so upsetting to me and then I feel vain or something when it bothers me because I should be happy that I am alive! But it does bother me and I don't know where to turn.

I have consulted several plastic surgeons and they have said the only thing would be some sort of flap to correct the sunken appearance. I also still have my artery on the right side and it sticks out a lot (almost like a huge scar). The flap sounds very frightening and I don't want a big scar on yet another part of my body.

I'm not really looking for any answers, just felt the need to talk. Thanks for listening...

~Susan

Hi Susan,

You can be sure your in good company here! There is a whole bunch with the same kind of surgical work. Congratulations on so many years of life after cancer. I too wondered why I never saw anyone else with the same scar.

You certainly are a beautiful wife and mother!

There may be someone here that can offer some comments on how they worked out the appearance thing. Personally I think you look fine I sometimes wonder about how people see me and I also know that many times they don't even notice.

I try to think of it as a life achievment badge. Something to be worn with pride. The fact that they can see it means you are a winner!

Feel free to vent here if you need to

Susan, this is a good place to vent, cry, or just muse out loud sometimes. We all understand and have been there.

Just had my second radical neck dissection, and I'd like to send the surgeon back to the class where they teach you to close incisions without leaving strange scars.

But then, after this heals more, probably no one will really notice unless I tell them.

I've found that our most harshest critics are usually ourslelves. Flaws that we think are big and noticeable most of the time other folks either don't see or don't care, mostly because they are too worried about how THEY look.

Sounds like you've had a successful life. And,.. the fact (if my math is correct) that you've been 32 years cancer free is an inspiration to us all.

Best Wishes
Bob