I just want to see if anyone else had this dilemma or its just me at my check-ups i feel like here is this doc rad onc who saved my life and at the time i needed him was there but in the check-ups i felt like i was keeping him from more needy patients i know he's run off his feet but i don't think he should of made me feel that way with his manner.It felt really bad and i hope it was only me but i don't know so yeah anyone else go thru this.

Malo - It was probably not intentional on his part and he may in fact just be occupied with his more needy patients. As a CG, I haven't had experience with Rad Doctors, but I have had some experience with a couple of dentists I have, one who is a "Mr. Personality" type, lots of chit-chat, personal references to things we have in common, etc. but I had no real confidence in his experience. When he referred me to an Endodontist for a root canal, the Endo. was pleasant but very cool and absolutely no chit-chat. His treatment was phenomenal, tho' and made me actually look forward to and enjoy the experience of the next root canal! (I had two with him) So I think I would rather have the benefit of the expertise over the personality. If you can have both, then that is the ideal, of course. I'm sure others will be able to give you more personal experience re their rad onc.

I have to say I felt that way my last visit to my rads guy-fist off let me tell you - mr personality he isn't ( perhaps that's why he plays with radiation machines mostly? ) we had a few issues because his bedside manner sucked - we kinda straightened it out when I asked him after one partucular meeting - if I was your mom, sister, aunt what would you do? He said without hesitation - the same thing. I thought a bit about the situation because I really had considered changing ( he'd peeved me off frankly) I'm not the type to need a lot of hand holding... At one point he suggested that I "talk to someone about my concerns" well my concerns were primarily about him! Frankly I was upset at he fact that I had to ask about my baseline ct - during my first rad meeting with him during my treatments - I should not have had to - his answer was woefully insufficient - "I would have mentioned it if there was something of concern" only to discover that there had been a node highlight on the otherside (he told me the next day and changed my rads plan to fit in that side) however my primary concern was - what if I hadn't asked him? Would it had been left, and if it was cancer? - would I have had to have more surgery etc...

However after all of this I thought about it. I'm at one of the top 5 cancer hospitals in the world, top 2 in north America - everyone graduating wants a fellowship here, this guy manged to get a job as a rads guy. He has to be good... Personality be damned.

My last appointment he didn't even dhow up for!! He was giving me good news ( which I already knew) he sent in a surgical oncologist associate of my surgeon with a student??? Not even another rads guy or fellow?? Bizarre but it was okay - it was partly my fault for being two hours early by accident. That said you deserve to feel, important and respected!

But it is a good sign - you don't need him anymore but you should make sure he does a full exam! Take care!

Yes Malo5

It happened to us and this is my current beef. IF the oncologists are so busy that they can't deal with our after treatment issues then the system needs to change!! Our contact person at follow ups is the RO and he has made it very clear that as far as he is concerned, my Alex has finished treatment with a complete response and is now entitled to a cursory check up as he has really sick patients to see.

The fact that Alex has not gone back to work, is so tired he sleeps 14 hours a day, can't swallow beyond liquids, and can't gain weight is of no concern to the RO. His job is done. I wouldnt mind so much if he had acknowledged Alex's ongoing issues and offered a referral to someone else to deal with after treatment issues but he hasn't. If he had done his job properly, and kept the GP in the loop, we could turn to him but unfortunately this hasn't occurred either. So now it is left to me to update the GP, on what Alex's issues are and what might be causing them and HE is the one that is dealing with swallowing, depression, fatigue, hormone imbalances, weight gain and pain.

All of us on this board are lucky that we have support to give us guidance on what the issues and possible solutions are. The ones I REALLY feel for are the poor buggers who never found this site, don't have the internet and have zero medical knowledge. They are just cut loose to deal with issues so awful for the patient that many of them are wondering whether it would have been better to succumb to the disease.

Thanks so much for your replies because it was really annoying me i think because when i was going thru treatment it was really intense and then at check-ups it was like i was made too feel guilty because i was going ok and then they tell you your not in the clear until 5yrs but don't feel nervous thats not right.The last time i came out of check-up i was really angry at this person i felt saved my life so i was very conflicted although now i'm at a good place i just think after what we've been thru i can tell him so he doesn't make someone else feel the same just watch how you treat people especially vunerable one's.

I think you should mention it to him there are ways of saying things that it doesn't sound mean but he should know - I mean I'd be grateful that he's saved you life etc... But at the same time there are a lot of element to healing! I agree with Anne Marie - you don have to be mr personality as long as you do you job well but it helps to realize that the patients you're working with are particularly vulgetable and scared - clean scans or not! So a little sensitivity is a good thing. Busy or not when you are with someone they deserve your undivided attention.

Sensitivity training would be nice, but not everyone is comfortable nor capable of showing sensitivity even though they are more than qualified in other areas. It doesn't mean they don't care - they just can't show it. At my son's diagnosis, my daughter and several interns were present since it was a teaching hospital. As we all filed out of the exam room, one of the interns (a female) turned to me, and with a compassionate smile, softly said, "Dr. C. is known as being very aggressive". Those few words meant SO much to me and at that moment, I knew we could fight this cancer and beat it. And we did!

I have to say I have never experienced that with any of my specialists. Yes, I may have to wait for at least an hour to get into my appt, but that is because they value each and every person. They spend time with them answering concerns and even shooting the breeze for a little while. I even have on as a friend on facebook and send him messages on there a lot to ask questions. He always responds within 24 hours. I guess I am lucky in that regard.

Can I have you're dr? Please? I'll trade you for and ice cream cone?

I was such a pain in the arse to my surgeon in my f/u checkups as I imagined alot about things that were not there.

He almost released me as his patient.

Now he considers me a friend and he is a client of mine.....