Mine is a different situation I believe. My spouse deserted me just over a year ago for a younger woman. We are only separated. Nothing legal. Had No previous warning. I thought we had a good marriage, no problems that I knew of. She was a sort of family member in my home almost daily. Since then I have tried to keep tabs on him, because he was already disabled with a spine injury from 40 yrs ago and barely can walk. Not in the best of health when he left. The other woman is staying with him out of the guilt she has, for seducing him and getting him to leave me,and the guilt he puts on her for giving everything up to leave with her. She is not the caregiver type. Now he found out the beginning of July he had I believe ( he doesn't talk to me since he left) Mandibular Neoplasm stage 2. He had 3/4 of his lower jaw bone removed, and reconstructed 7/16 and his teeth. I really don't know his prognosis, or anything past the surgery. He still has a trach, oxygen, and they put his g tube in Fri. 7/26. He may not get to go home, but to a care facility, because of his other health problems. He allowed me to go see him twice, but she started telling the nurses and him lies. So I said I wouldn't go back. So now I'm worried sick,I still love him dearly, and worry about him all the time. And not sure if he's having to go thru radiation and/or chemo after the mouth and jaw heal or what. Can anyone who has possibly gone thru this fill me in on what he has in store ahead of him yet? Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Welcome to OCF. I can give you some info. It will not be easy to make it very specific to your estranged spouse since their are limited details of his illness. Before I give you info let me start by saying everyone is different and will respond in their own way to procedures and medications, etc. So just because I may have experienced something does not mean another person will go thru it too. This is why I tend to give pretty general info.

Going thru a mandibulectomy is a difficult surgery to recover from. It can be a long and painful recovery. Some people bounce back quickly. Most people who go thru a mandibulectomy will be hospitalized for about 2 weeks. It can take up to a year to recover. The swelling will be pretty bad for the first 2 months, it will be up to a year for it to subside. Any reconstructive surgery will take place after a year. Doctors will make a patient wait until they have a full year of recovery before they will make any changes. Normally a mandibulectomy will require a feeding tube and also a trach. If the patient asks for a possey muir valve trach it will make it much easier to talk after the surgery. Dont be surprised if the patient is kept asleep for a few days after this major surgery.

Im sure it is very difficult for you to try to watch from the sidelines, especially without visiting. If the patient cant talk then they should have someone with them in the hospital always to advocate for them. Even when they go home, a visiting nurse should come at least weekly. A patient will need assistance with someone helping them by going to the pharmacy, grocery store and taking them to doctors appointments. After a couple weeks being home they should be able to resume driving again. If under heavy pain meds then they should not drive.

Best wishes for a fast and complete recovery!

Hi there ... I know you posted yesterday, I just wanted welcome you again. I believe I answered you in a PM so I wont go into it again. But HI! take care!