Friends,
Yes, unfortunatly the Potemkin village is alive and well in MI, Charm! I could grow it myself as a CG, but my grad student daughter can hook us up - LOL! My Woodstock-experienced friend is all for him trying it too! Just getting him to "try" it is the challenge. As my daughter says, he's so willing to have toxic chemotherapy coursed into his veins, but not 'do' weed, a totally natural product!
(We were impressed too with the MO's open minded suggestions. Our CCC is in a very 'liberal' city!)

#4 of 5 brothers, John was rewarded like the rest at his 21st birthday with a crisp $100 bill (not come by easily in their blue collar family of 7) for never smoking. (His dad started smoking in WWII, like most GI's that were handed packs of cigarettes like candy. Pack and a half days were the norm thereafter. He died from a massive heart attack at 59.) This, and being right tackle on the football team contributed to John's no smoking mentality. So being inexperienced with it and getting past this issue is a big step for him.

Karen, your restaurant stories make me smile. Alex is a peach to go with you and non-eat. Charm, how did you get past the eating issue? I admire your attitude.
Thank you all for your advice - you're all angels for listening to a crazy CG rant, and no one else understands like you do.
XO

Bonnie

If I could tell John one thing it would be that the greatest tragedy of cancer is to let it rob him of life while he is still living. Going out to eat is part of life in today's world.
Outside the house, I bring a daypack with two cans of Jevity 1.5, a plastic up, syringe, extension tube and cloth napkin. At restaurants, I order iced tea and a glass of wine. I mix the Jevity with the iced tea (wine causes Jevity to congeal and clump into a gooey mess) so it goes down the tube easier.
IMO, Dealing with "eating" in public when you have swallowing issues is a Mind game. Since I'm not famous like Roger Ebert, nobody in Washington DC even notices me so I can just whip out my feeding tube. Now that I'm using the sryinge instead of carting the collapsible pole and hook to hang the feeding bags with drip tubes, it's actually very discreet.
John's case is harder but I've "eaten" in very public places (San Antonio Riverwalk) with OCF's Christine and she manages very well by specifying the texture of the food to the waiter.
So it can be done.
But like Alex, I also attend social events and just don't eat: Art gallery receptions, neighborhood bar-b-ques etc.
It's psychological - and I fully understand John's dismay at being literally excommunicated from the social breaking of bread. Watching people wolf down dishes, or reading an entree on a menu that I never had (and now never will) does not cheer me up and in fact is depressing. But I can still raise a glass of wine to my wife (then set it down, insert the syringe and put it into my tube) and knowing that she is enjoying her meal makes it worthwhile for me.
Getting back to the thread topic, MM also helps "mellow" those feelings of depression as well as highlight all the other joys of life still available.
But perhaps John would be more comfortable with traditional " better living thru chemistry" such as prescription anti-depressants. I've never taken any but some studies show they help some folk. I prefer natural and organic but we are all different individuals.
Last but not least, since you will have to go outlaw, consider that MJ also works very well for caregivers, not only patients.
Keep the Faith
Charm