I have just signed onto the board, and I hope I am doing this right. I have looked on this web site lots of times, read it, and it has helped me very much. I have not got cancer myself, but in October 2002 my brother who is 38 was diagnosed. He was always visiting the dentist with a mouth problem, and was told he had gingivitis. He then insisted on a biopsy and it came back as cancer. By now it had spread to his neck and behind his nose. He had a 10 hour operation to remove his teeth, gums, roof of mouth, and lymph gland in neck but the tumour behind the nose is inoperable, so he is now having radiotherapy. He has had 3 lots of chemo. He is feeling sick and is losing loads of weight and he may now have to go into hospitail to have a tube fitted. My brother does not ask any questions he just plods along with it all, this is why i dont know what stage he has or any medical words. All I know is I am so worrid about him, and I cry all the time. Reading your messages has really helped. Thank you.

Cazz,

Welcome to the board, you will find plenty of information and support here. Maybe you should call your brother's doctor and ask him questions about our brother's cancer, staging, treatment, etc.

I'keep your brother in my thoughts.

Take care.

Anne.

Cazz,

I too would like to welcome you to this forum. Like you, I do not have cancer myself - but my husband does, so I am also searching for answers, and have found this site to be very informative and the people here very supportive, warm and caring. It's not easy watching a loved one go through these ordeals - but I have found by the many times I have been here - that even when things seem bleak, and when you least expect it - positive things do happen! When I found out my husband had cancer - I cried all the time (in private) and found it almost impossible to concentrate on work and day-to-day activities. Being here in the forum has been a great source of strength for me and I hope you also find the encouragment, support, friendship and last but not least -HOPE that we all need, as I have found. You and your brother are in my thoughts. Please keep us posted on how he is doing.

YOUNGERAG AND dONNAJEAN

Thankyou for you kind words both of you, You are in my thoughts too. I have found this site very helpful and supportive allready, and everybody seams so friendly.

I will keep in contact, and keep you both and your husband in my thoughts.

WELCOME TO THIS BOARD. We are here to help you. I also think you should call your brother's doctor. This is a difficult time for him dealing with his diagnosis and he may welcome your help in communicating with his doctor. Before you call his Doctor write down questions that you would like to ask him. Do you know what stage Cancer he has and also how many radiation treatments he will need? Is your brother satisfied with his medical care now? We will help you process the information that the Dr. will tell you by what we know. I am a Cancer Survivor. I was diagnosed with Oral Cancer October 2002 and Throid Cancer November 2002.

Hi Cazz,

Welcome to the board. Is it at all possible to go to a couple of appointments with your brother? It is one of the best things that you can do. Usually the patient doesn't always remember what the doctor says or think to ask things in response.
If you can go? Take a list of questions to ask and write down the answers, that way you can share with the rest of the family.
If it's not possible then I agree a phone call would be best.

Take care,
Dinah

Thankyou Rosalie and Donnajean for your replys.

Since I was last on here I have found out that my brother has Stage 3 cancer. The problem is that it has spread to behind his nose, is there anyone out there that this has happened to cos i have'nt heard anyone mention it. He has to have radiotherpy for six weeks. He is on his 3rd week. But he is suffering really bad depression which i understand is normal but the hospitail is saying he should not be so bad so soon, they are going to admit him into a phychiatric ward in the morning. He just cant come to terms with the fact that he has had the operation the chemo the rad and he still has cancer. Has anyone got any advice on what we could do to help him.

Oh, Cazz, what a bad time you are going through. I do think it is a good thing that your brother will be admitted to hospital, in that there he will receive professional help for his depression, and most probably drugs that will help. A lot of us who have been patients agree that it is a lot tougher on the caregivers and family members. Thinking back, when I was at the worst part of my treatments, taking drugs that left me with no energy, my husband was always upbeat and encouraging, telling me things would get better. Intellectually I KNEW things would get better, but it was a big help to hear it over and over. I tell this story to remind you how very, very important you are to your brother. Be as positive and encouraging as you can, Cazz, because it will help him in a way the doctors cannot.
Joanna

Hi Cazz, Boy, after what your brother has been through - I give him a lot of credit for handling things thus far - and you too, for that matter. I know it's not easy - I'm a caregiver myself as you probably know, so I can empathize with you completely. As Joanna mentioned, placing him in the hospital where he can get help for the depression and coping with this illness can only do him some good. Nothing good comes from dwelling on the negative - it only adds to the depression. Be strong for him and be as "upbeat" as you can around him - this will help give him the encouragement he needs to fight on. I firmly believe in sending "good vibes" to help boost morale - it seems to help my husband when he starts feeling down, so I'm sure it'll help your brother too. Please keep up posted on how he is doing, and my wishes for all the best to both of you.