Hi,

My name is Kelly and my Mom was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue last November. She went through having her tongue removed, free flap surgery, chemo and radiation.

Now it's 7 months later and the cancer has returned as a stage 4 carcinoma. She went from 1 small lump on her chin to 8 masses across her neck in a matter of 10 days. The original plan was to remove her jaw and do reconstructive surgery but that has now changed. She has dermal metastsis and a mass in her chest. The doctors are recommending that she begin another round of chemo and electron radiation to slow the progression but they have told us that there is no cure at all. She had laser surgery just this weekend to attack all the tumors that are spreading across her neck and will have to go through this procedure as needed to keep the tumors they can see externally in check.

The final word on all this is that the doctors have given her 6-12 months to live.

I am having a VERY hard time with all of this. I can't sleep, eat or even seem to hold a normal conversation without breaking down. I'd really love to talk with someone else who is going through this. I feel totally alone right now and absolutely useless in helping my Mom.

Please, if you have the time, send me a note at [email protected] and let me know that there is someone out there who knows how I feel and that I'm not just the freak on the side having a total melt down.

Thanks for your time,

Kelly

I've felt that raw fear, the kind that makes your heart pound and your teeth chatter. If I was there I'd hug you for reassurance. The cancer center where I was treated had an onsite free pyschologist who I used to get over the fear. Please get there ASAP. This fear is too hard to live with.

Hi,I am a cancer survivor, but walked your road with my Mom with ALS. You have to dig deep and get strong. I noticed there is someone else on the board who going through the same thing right now. Look under Coping/Anger&Fear- Reen-Coping with poor prognosis. You two might be able to help each other. gnelson

Hi Kelly I am sending lots of hugs for you. My closest friend was diagnosed with oral cancer two weeks ago and I can't do anything but worry can't sleep either. He has lesions on his lip in the corner of the mouth and it's in his cheek... he is only 40. He is having surgery this Friday. Some of these messages scare me so bad but doctor said it hasn't spread but they have no test of any kind said he didn't need rad or chemo. How can they know without doing test? I am a nurse but never had a patient with oral cancer but know how quick it can met. My heart and prayers go out to you. If you need to talk I will listen. I lost my dad on christmas eve of 1999 in a housefire, he was here one day and gone the next. I have had a very hard time dealing with it. If you would like to talk just send me an email.

Hi Kelly,
I am Barons wife. As you may know he has been going through chemo and radiation for the past 5 weeks. But what I would like to tell you is that, 2 years ago my mother was diognosed w/ovarian cancer. I was her caregiver until the day she passed(she was diognosed 8/25/2000 and passed away on 11/11/2000). Baron and I were married on 8/24/2001. My mother was not here to share the happiest day of my life w/me. 7 months after we were married he is diognosed with cancer. I never dreamed I would be going through this again. Barons is not as fargone as my mothers was, but I wish I had someone who could get me through this. I have 2 kids(previous marriage) and I have to be strong for them and for Baron, but it is getting relly hard.

Rhonda...Baron50(wife)

Hi, Baron50 wife, this is Packer 66`s wife.........I know what you mean about handling all this...yesterday, I dragged my husband to the ER, with blood running out of his ear, last week was salivary fistulas, I`m now draining twice a day, we`re looking at 3rd surgery soon..........sometimes I wish a magic fairy would come along and take over.........I don`t have the option of just throwing up my hands, and say I quit......I know how lonely you truly feel about the whole thing, because you try to keep the thoughts and fear away from your husband, but you truly do have the strength within yourself to do what needs to be done.......believe me, I`ve found that out for myself..........I can`t say it`s ever going to get easier, but the strength is there, within you........believe that.........Many Prayers, your way