| Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | Go to bed girl, I'll be nice. I've used my PM's as you've instructed and hopefully clarified what I was trying to say. Either way you'll get no more (other then the usual) sass from me. I do find it funny when you edit my posts though by using your magical red letter, administrator powers so maybe do some editing just for my childish enjoyment?  You know I love you Christine Eric
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 | whoa whoa whoa. I started this thread because I have long been curious quite a while about the preponderence of female caregivers on a board for a cancer that impacts men at least threefold over women plus some HPV studies show that 80% of HPV oral cancer will be men. But I never actually started it because I was concerned that so many of the caregivers here are so mama grizzly protective of their male patients that I knew many would ascribe dastardly motives to me. Now I'm not talking about Liz's wisecrack -which I found wonderful as it's no secret I believe I'm exceptional - a literal Legend in my Own Mind. Add my over the top tough guy patter-plus my views on PEGS, Neck Dissections, Petscans that contradict some of the caregivers' doctors opinions (all of whom went to school in the 20th century ) and last but not least: smart ass comments like that last parenthentical mean I rub a lot of readers the wrong way. Boo Hoo As the country song goes: [quote]I'm wild and a little crazy too Some girls don't like boys like me Aww but some girls do [/quote] I get many more very nice PMs from the "charmed ones", then diatribes from upset ones. I am going right to the source to see the real reasons. Lots of caregivers here do openly vent their frustrations with their patients so my question about whether the cg prefers to be the only one on OCF is legitimate. So back on track: please continue to share the reasons you as a caregiver are here rather than the patient. You are helping me with a mystery that my personal style makes unthinkable for myself. OCF is a wide community and we all bring different talents to this table, and we have a surfeit of warm loving totally accepting and supportive people here, so there is certainly room for someone like me. Keep the Faith 65 yr Old Frack Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+ 2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG 2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery 25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin Apaghia /G button 2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa 40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin Passed away 4-29-13
| | | | Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 | Charm...you and your sidekick are incorrigable.You just love to poke your sticks into a hornets nest and see what you can stir up lol.I think your question was quite a legitimate one and i answered in all good faith.Yes the throw away at the end was a british attempt at humour,but i do remember the days when i was fraught and frazzled and you and buggar lugs wound me up something rotten.
Strong minded,self confident even arrogant men you are but sometimes a little short on the tact and diplomacy gene,and unquestionably intolerant of alternative opinions and behaviour to your own.
All that said as you say there is a place for all on OCF as long as lines aren't stepped over.
love liz
Liz in the UK
Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007 Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.
Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.
| | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: May 2008 Posts: 551 | Charm,
Why don't men ask for directions? Why don't they read the instruction manual that came with the power equipment? Why don't they ask for help?
Taken as a whole, women and men are just different.
Stage IV SCC lt lateral tongue, surgery 5/19/08 (partial gloss/upper neck dissection left side/radial free flap reconstruction) IMRT w/weekly Cisplatin & Erbitux 6/30/08, PEG 1 6/12/08 - out 7/14 (in abdominal wall, not stomach), PEG 2 7/23/08 - out 11/20/08, Tx done 8/18/08 Second SCC tumor, Stage 1, rt mobile tongue, removed 10/18/2016, right neck dissection 12/9/2016 Third SCC tumor, diagnosed, 4/19/2108, rt submandibular mass, HPV-, IMRT w/ weekly Cisplatin, 5/9 - 6/25/2018, PEG 3 5/31/2018
| | | | Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 329 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | Platinum Member (300+ posts) Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 329 | Margaret.....you hit the nail right on the head.
SCC. of the left lateral tongue, anterior two thirds, T1 possibly a T2. Left partial glossectomy, left selective neck dissection 4/21/09. Nodes clean, No Rad, No Chemo.
CT Scan 9/11 clean, CT Scan 9/12 clean
Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, FL. A+.
My hometown Lockport, NY.
| | | | Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 | Thank you Christine. Again, I am sorry for being party to anything that has caused you anxiety.
Ex-spouse MISDIAGNOSED with SCC-HN IVa 12/10. Tonsils out 1/11. 4 teeth out 2/11. TX Erbitux x2, IMRT x2 2/11. 2nd opinion-benign BCC-NOT CANCER 3/11. TX stopped 3/11. New doctors 4/11. ENT agrees with 2nd opinion 5/11. ENT scoped him-all clear 7/11. Ordered MRI anyway. MRI 8/22/11 Result-all clear.
| | | | Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 | And nobody is worried about causing me anxiety? Oh well. Seriously, I appreciate all the responses. It's good when things get spelled out - less miscommunication. Margaret and Connie's point has crossed my mind. But this is a lot less than "30 or 300" reasons so you others please feel free to chime in. PS... Liz have you been talking to my wife?  65 yr Old Frack Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+ 2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG 2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery 25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin Apaghia /G button 2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa 40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin Passed away 4-29-13
| | | | Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 875 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 875 | I've been reading, and reading, and reading the posts about this subject, and as a fellow forum member, all I can say is that I sure am glad we have Christine as an Administrator who keeps on top of things, and uses her "magical red letter administrator powers" to keep everyone civilized. Thanks, Christine! julieann
Julieann Nov 2007 SCC on right tonsil following tonsillectomy. Was smoker, QUIT. (Stage IV T2 N2b) 7 weeks radiation one day/wk chemo (carboplatin and 5-FU). Allergic to Taxol; PEG in, lost 30 lbs. TX completed January 2008. PEG out mid- 2008. PET/CT 1/17/2011;2/3/12 NEGATIVE for cancer | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | Wow, arrogant and sidekick even...Liz you are so tactful yourself and as I recall so open to the view points of others as long as they agree with you. It may be the British elitist attitude I mistake for humility.
All joking jabs aside (and those were jests as I feel I have a relationship with Liz to take and receive those jabs) I agree with the difference in not just men and women but in personality types.
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 | Liz [quote=Cookey]Charm... Strong minded,self confident even arrogant men you are but sometimes a little short on the tact and diplomacy gene,and unquestionably intolerant of alternative opinions and behaviour to your own. [/quote] And one of the differences between men and women (IMO) is that women make this sound like a bad thing instead of "tiger blood"
PS. Eric is my "brother-in-arms" and nobody's "sidekick" A sidekick would never have made Brian close down those first threads where Eric & I tangled. Finally a kindred spirit/warrior on board to balance out the dialogues. Charm 65 yr Old Frack Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+ 2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG 2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery 25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin Apaghia /G button 2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa 40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin Passed away 4-29-13
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