Hi Rebel, life will change forever but not always in bad ways. Our life is so different to our old one that I sometimes think I dreamt the old life. But as hard as it gets I would never say Steve or I are unhappy. You learn along the way what really matters and you do learn to take it day by day. All the best to you, pls keep us all posted and remember we are all here anytime you need a chat.

I hope you understand how different each one of us are. Most oral cancer patients will end up with some after effects. For some lucky few, their life will be pretty much what it was prior to getting sick.

My life is actually much more meaningful now. I have lots of limitations and daily issues but I have a great outlook on life. I love helping others here. Its giving back, just like so many OCF members who helped me along the way when I was going thru my battles. My previous life was a selfish one, working and taking care of my family. I didnt help others or volunteer. Now I spend a few hours everyday doing for others and Im very proud of the fact that I am able to help other people.

Get thru what you must then take time to reflect on your new life and make the most of what you can. Dont forget ask for the possey muir valve type of trach. It allows you to easily talk with it in. Good luck!!!!

heres an update. 4 days post surgery the pain is replaced with different pain. although the crap coming out of my mouth is much thicker now. it likes to get into my lungs so i can screw around with the damn trach. i dont need none of this.

see below, internet issues

Rebel, Lisa.

First, let me say that you are among people that can relate to what you both are going through right now.

I don't know of anyone that "needs" this experience or even asked for it, but it's the hand that we've been dealt so we have to learn how to play it.

I want you both to read some of the posts of these survivors, my heros, and understand that some of them have been in deeper waters and have been dealt more difficult hands. This isn't a contest, but it helped me to understand and cope with the fact that not only was I not alone, I wasn't traveling the hardest path and I could draw on them for support, understanding and inspiration. I've read some of the posts of those who eventually lost their battle and realized how fortunate I've been.

I know what it is to be young and have my face taken from me, the ability to eat most things, speak. I know what it is to lose the life that I had before cancer. I am disfigured, I lossed my career, I live with pain, my teeth are falling out of my head, my body has been broken in so many ways...yet I love my life. I live with the side effects of treatment and surgery everyday. I'm stared at when I go anywhere due to my disfigurement, however I wear my scars with pride. I'm a survivor.


I'm alive, I get to enjoy my children and the love of my life. I used what happened to me as fuel to go after my dreams and goals. I've faced death, most people diagnosed similar to me die, I almost did, so now I live life, every moment to the fullest. I'm building a future for my kids and if I go leave my wife with security and something to be proud of me for.

A book that helped me and gave me the quote in my signature is "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. It's about a Jewish Physchiatrist that lived through the death camps of WWII. It gave me a different perspective, that and reading the stories and relating to the others that contribute to these boards.

Keep your chin up, it does get better.

Eric