It's been 4 months since my mom was dx with Stage IV paillary carcinoma, and now dr says entire jaw will be removed along with lower lip. This seems SO daunting to me but it occurs to me that y'all could probably give a lot of insight in to what this details. I'm surprised to read here that many people find "oral dissections" less difficult than radiation. I am completely clueless to all this, please please help!

I went thru the mandibulectomy. It was in no way easier than radiation. I did have a difficult time and ended up with an extended stay in the hospital. I was there for 2 months. The recovery til I was in pretty good shape took me about 6 months post surgery. I had healing problems which made it take longer for me to recover. I ended up doing hyperbaric oxygen treatments, a wound vac, having a picc line for 7 months with IV antibiotics, a visiting nurse for a year and physical therapy. If nothing else, please remember everyone is different and will respond to treatments in their own way. I was an exception and had a very hard time. That is not to say that this is easy, its a big operation (mine was 10 hours) and its hard on your body.

If you want to read my blog, that may help you gain some insight into what your mother will be going thru. Its in the blog section, titled 'My Mini Blog'.

Wow, Christine, I am so sorry to hear all you have been through. My mom is 82 and seems to be getting more fragile each day. From what her doc has said her surgery will be as extensive as yours. Would you do this again at 82 years?

My dad is 86 and his team of doctors thought surgery would be worse on him and potentially kill him quicker than the cancer with more pain and less quality if life than if he tries to live with the cancer by keeping it in check with chemo and radiation and managing the pain. He is now going through more radiation and still is in a lot of pain.. Some days I think he should of had the surgery for his quality of life now is not that great. I wish the best for your mom

To be honest, there were many times while I was in the hospital that I cried and wished I hadnt gone thru with the surgery. I was in incerdible pain from the graphs. It just seemed to be one misfornate event after another while I was in the hospital. I had problems with my peg tube and had to have it replaced while I was awake. My arm donor site had 40 staples in it and that hurt alot. The wounds on my legs ached. I was one huge open wound! It took me til I was aprox. 3-4 months post surgery to realize that I really was going to come out of this and be ok. These experiences are mine alone, others have bounced right back from this. Most patients are home from the hospital within 2 weeks of this surgery.

Even though I had a rough time, I would always choose life over doing nothing/death. Whenever there is a chance means that you shouldnt give up. If I had to do it over again, I still would have gone thru with it. Your decision as to what is best for your mother is something you and any other family members must weight and decide. I cant begin to understand how difficult this must be for you. Speak to her doctors and if you havent done so seek out a second opinion at a cancer center and take it from there. Best wishes!

Thanks, Christine--your comments really helped.
HOWEVER, I'm really really worried about my mom going through surgery and tx during winter months. My Dad died 4 years ago from a staph infection after a hospitalization for pneumonia. My friend's dad died last winter from pneumonia after a grueling chemo/radation week.

I find it amazing that we can't reach a conclusion to this.

In my years of fighting this disease we found out that my body does far better in recovering from surgery than it does radiation. My body never healed from radiation a year after treatment and I developed ORN from treatments as well. Yes, surgery is major and lots of things can happen. I contracted MRSA in my nose but it was caught and treated while I was in the hospital. I think either way your body has to fight something it normally wouldn't. I would be fearful to with the history of winter deaths. I pray that you are able to find a conclusion that gives both you and your mom peace.