My husband's cousin said the same thing! Actually it was, "did you have a stroke or something?"

We had our Oral Cancer walk today. Someone wanted to know my story so I sat down and told her. She then said she wanted to aska personal question. She prefaced by saying that since I did not msoke, drink, or have HPV and was so young, "was there a relationship with this cancer and my weight?" I was really offended by that comment. I did not let it show because she drove three hours to come to the walk, her daughter is a student of the OU dental hygiene clinic that helped organize the walk. It sure made me angry that someone could even bring up weight into the picture.

Angelia, you handled that with grace! Good for you. She was insensitive and ignorant. Next time someone offends you, throw it back to them by asking, "why do you ask that? Have you done any clinical research on the relationship of (weight) and OC?"

When people on the street ask how I am, I always smile my now crooked smile and always say " I am fine thank you, for what I have I am doing very well...how are you?" I find it puts people at ease and they can either escape easily or stay to chat.

Angelia good for you, that was handled with grace as Anita said. Some people are clods.

I want to point out that the ignorance does apply to other conditions. My step son is 42 and has had type 1 diabetes (juvenile onset) since he was 9. He works out and eats carefully, aside from the occasional junk food which he has to pay for by taking more insulin, and even though there's hardly an ounce of fat on his body people are constantly thinking that his lifestyle somehow caused his diabetes. He gets very upset about that. It's type 2 diabetes that is associated with lifestyle. No one knows the exact cause of type 1. But then of course people assume that my lifestyle caused my cancer, and maybe that's true, though I quit smoking 22 years ago and have been a light drinker for quite a few years. I can't remember the last time I was actually drunk but it's been years. But if you have one of these diseases, why, you just must have done something to bring it upon yourself, right?

I just had a conversation about cancer with my sister, who is a Nurse Practitioner. She has been in the oncology arena for quite a while. The bottom line is that we can do everything right and still get cancer. The misconception among many people is that those who have or had cancer must have done something to get it, like eat the wrong foods, not flossing, too much stress, etc (the list goes on). While many behaviors have risks associated with disease, and there are other behaviors that have benefits associated with health and vitality. Anyone can get cancer.

It's a challenge for anyone with a serious health issue to answer probing questions by the curious regarding lifestyle choices. A strategy that works for me is to refer the questioner (especially if it is not a family member or close friend) to this website for OC, as well as other respected sites for more information (NIH, ACS, etc). "If you are really interested in this disease then I encourage you to go to (OCF, NIH, ACS) to research more on this because you really don't know what you're talking about."

When others overstep that boundary and their questions or comments make you feel bad, angry, hurt, or misunderstood, empower yourself to take a stand.

How about this one....A coworker tole me that if I had gone to church every Sunday and knew Jesus I wouldnt have cancer! Who knew?

Plantgirl

I'm pretty sure your co-worker wasn't Catholic. We even have Patron Saints of Cancer, like St. Aldequndis, the Patron Saint of Breast Cancer who died of that cancer. (I first learned of her at a Komen Walk for the Cure blog) The Catholic party line is that the Saints certainly knew Jesus. Plus we have a generic Patron Saint of Cancer: St. Peregrine Laziosi
Finally, I know I'm wicked but I would share this video with your co worker. It's from CNN about an oral cancer patient who saw Jesus in her MRI. And I'd tell the co worker that Jesus was in my MRI also which means you plantgirl will be taken up in the rapture and your co worker is going straight to hell.
JESUS in my MRI

Keep the Faith
Charm

PLantgirl, that is awful. I got to church every Sunday and am a Believer and I still got cancer. He is the one who helped me through it.