Some of us are still here, lurking, and feeling a bit "out of it".

I am now 6 years post treatment for my 1st dx (surgery/radiation) and almost 3 years post treatment (surg 10/07 - tx ended 2/08) from my 2nd surgery/rad/chemo

I continue to live - some days better than others. I remain grateful for each day but often feel selfish that I still have serious - almost daily - anxiety and concerns. I think part of that is due to the fact that it was around 3 years when it came back before. Deja vu all over again??

I hate to post and mention this as new posters will feel depressed that "it just never ends", but I think that is just me.

I'm still here. Feel free to send me a kick in the butt if you think I need it!!!

Hugs

Donna

one kick coming your way donna xxxxx

Don't know, sometimes I feel like Donna does, don't like to post about my second and third reoccurances, etc....but that is just for me, not necessarily for others, I hope. I often wonder what happened to Mark? He always had interesting posts and very informative.

Mark was indeed a valued poster. Self employed a couple years ago, his business had a tough time. It required ALL of his attention. We talked on the phone a few times, but when your source of income gets turned around, you have to pay attention to the wolf at the door. Ditto Gary who had several small attempts at starting a new FDA regulatory affairs consulting business, that were hard to get off the ground. He and I also talked a few times, last I heard he was in welding school, picking up a new trade. Gary also commented about answering the regular questions a hundred times, and was suffering from burn out of doing that.

Those that have come here with high posting numbers are truly passionate, and genuinely altruistic. But life does have a way of (once you are well) pulling at you to get on with it. Some stay in touch with an annual December donation and note, some we are going to pull on to come to our many new events next year to dust them off and have them tell their tales of daring-do, to showcase the fight when this is found late, and to also show that despite the scary statistics, you can make it through this journey.

This is why we don't have chat rooms, that lose the conversation when finished. Even gone, much or Marks and Gary's wisdom and insights live on to anyone that is interested in using the search function for things they want to know.

Like many others, I too have been away for a bit. It's been too hard to log on with all the craziness. John's recurrence and met to his lungs really threw us for a loop, especially after only 2 weeks prior, our MO said, "your BOT is clear, go celebrate!".
So here we are again, going through another chemo round. Just yesterday we found out the results of the CT scan and the chemo is working... 25% reduction in the size of the tumors! While this is not a cure, it's a reprieve, we know, and have to rationalize that every day. We are living life to the fullest and have had a fabulous Midwest Autumn.
As many have said before, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about dancing in the rain." Thank you to all who impart their wisdom and help here. xo
Bonnie

I have my account set up so that I am notified by email when certain people have posted. That way I can know what is going on and respond. Otherwise, I find I must take a break now and then. There are days when I want to retreat to the background and let others who have more experience take on the subject at hand. Also, and this is a big one, as we approach the next PET/CT, I always get a little broody.

Clark has his next PET/CT Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It will be a marathon day beginning at 6am. I feel like I am preparing myself for a boxing match. Things have been good for us in the last months but there is that sword hanging over our heads.

While we have made it this far, 3 years, I am reluctant to celebrate. We are happily living day to day and have discovered pure joy in the mundane. As Clark says he doesn't want to jinx anything. The anxiety is on the rise, but we will do fine. We'll put it on hold while we celebrate Thanksgiving with family.

I plan on posting for a long time. I know how good it feels when someone else knows what you are going through. It is not necessary to face OC alone. Empathy goes a long way. I hope to give what I can to someone else.

It was wonderful hearing from so many past posters and active members, hearing from those who are 6, 8, etc. years out from treatment endings. I am happy for those whose attitudes and positive outlooks keep them from stressing (too often) about the future, and are living life day by day, with its inevitable ups AND downs. Like Alpaca, Dick never had radiation or chemo for any of his cancers, so we can never offer our experiences to those who are facing that treatment, but I guess our submissions may help those with stage 1 SCCs whose doctors have leaned toward no further treatments following surgery and clean pathology reports. Dick's doctor is like a bee on honey with him because of his history and suggests biopsies often...in fact, he is scheduled for another next week on a tiny section of gingiva, simply because he is super cautious. The doctor often remarks that Dick's problems (whether SCC, dyplasia, lichenoids, etc.) are always on his right side. Anyway, in this season of thankfulness, we are grateful for each and every one of you, for sharing these most personal journeys so that others may find your experiences helpful and edifying, we grieve with friends who have lost loved ones, and to posters who are there for those who are currently facing this life-changing news to offer support and advice. THANKSgiving Blessings to all.

I would think that folks would be happy to hear from someone wondering how they're doing, especially if they can provide some insight or assistance to the person checking on them. I'm one of the "fallen away". Life does get in the way (in a good way). I have much less "down time" now, and more days when I want to put some distance between myself and cancer. I left the site long enough to become "out", and not be familiar with many of the current threads. I nearly never post now when I do come in and peruse posts, as I think "it's been covered", and I have nothing useful to add. I'm eight months out of treatment (well, tehchnically I'm out - looks like I'll have to have a neck dissection next month), and have been recovering very well, except for that one lymph node, so , thank goodness, have little experience with post treatment issues to share. I have to admit, I wouldn't have come onto the site today, but I recommended it to someone else, and said "Hey, it's been a while - I should pop in". Now I'm chiding myself, saying, you should chime in - new folks should know that many folks are like me, and go through much less than the average person. I dunno. Part of me used that as an excuse to not post - I thought it was a little cruel to hear how some suffer, and throw in "Oh really, you're on a very strong pain patch? well, I only take hydrocodone if I want to eat barbecue sauce". Well, at any rate, whether I'm posting or not, know that I am hoping we all do well. Happy Thanksgiving, all.

Anita,

I'll be thinking of you and Clark tomorrow for his scan. Hoping you'll have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Lost,

Will be thinking of you and Dick next week. Hoping he gets a negative biopsy report.

Thinking of you Anita and your husband!! Wishing you all all the best . . . .

Susan