First - Liz thank you so much for staying "active" on these boards. Unfortunately death is sometimes a reality of any type of cancer. Your personal experience with all of this is so invaluable. I think with most "health based" message boards, people take what they want and then when they are through treatments or have lost their loved one they move on. I stay active on these message boards because I have been helped so much by everyone and if I can answer a question for someone or offer some small support, then I still "belong" here. This is going to sound dumb but I am also slightly paranoid that if I leave that John's cancer will come back. I know that sounds silly but that is my reality. So....here I will stay until I feel it is time to move on.

Again thank you so much to all the "active" posters. Your knowledge and personal experiences are greatly appreciated.

Agree Liz that your help is invaluable. And also agree with Wanda that people need to know that death from this disease is a very real possibility.

There are plenty of us with good outcomes and that is one of the other reasons why I stay..to help folks see that you can indeed come out the other side of this even with a fairly dire diagnosis and also to relay what our journey was like and what we learned.

Thanks as well to all those that helped us when we needed it!

Deb

Many times I find myself "popping in", scanning the messages and if things look to be adequately covered, then silently moving on, until a topic that I feel I can offer a bit of assistance comes along.

I guess what I am saying, just because I happen to be quiet does not mean I'm not here or paying attention .

Kevin

I just recently 'returned' to the OCF board after several years absence. My ex-husband, father of my son, has been diagnosed w/oral cancer and I came back to get information about treatments & any improvement in outcome statistics, for my son. When my brother was diagnosed, I found this board tremendously useful & even comforting.

I left the board after my brother died because it was upsetting to me to read about others who also lost their fight. I became very fond of some of posters and I cried when any of them had a reoccurrence. Like so many others, I wanted to put the cancer experience behind me, way behind me. Also, I feel that the best advice & wisdom comes from the cancer survivors themselves & primary caregivers, those currently fighting the fight.

Also, my brother's outcome wasn't positive, his tongue cancer metastasized to his lungs just two years after completing treatment. Like Cookey, I felt his outcome might dismay newcomers. However, I do want to say that he did have a very good healthy year, almost normal, his second year after treatment. He managed to visit Jim Morrison's Grave in Paris (he had neuramyopathy in his feet so it took some effort to walk to the cemetery). This was on his life list of things he wanted to do. My point is that after the horrors of treatment, there were good times with his grandchildren, with his wife in Paris (she didn't visit Jim Morrison's grave) and life was good.

Keep up the good work, every one of you! - Candace

Liz - How nice to see you checking back in! I've thought so much about you these last few days and wondered how you were doing! I followed your posts and cried with you many times. I felt your strength and compassion and caring and it helped me to be stronger in caring for my son.

Its knowing things like that that make it all worth while.I will never really leave OCF its just time to take a back seat until needed again lol.I dont know if you have ever done this Anne Marie but i sometimes go to the OCF members list and just browse through it.So many names bring back memories,even a few tears, but a part of my life i hold in my heart and always will do.Love to you both xxxx

Liz,

There is someone currently on this site that could really use your experience right now. Her husband is terminal and Tx is not an option.

I don't post as often as I used to because I don't want people to be discouraged by Neil's outcome. I would welcome pm's however. I check in here almost everyday. While it is true that life goes on I still feel an intense attachment to those on this board.

I also "pop in" from time to time and if I don't have anything to add, I still like to take away some new information and, of course, catch up on Oral Cancer in the news, etc.

Just reached 8 years on October 23rd - still clear but not without some weird things popping up from time to time - all which clear up in a week - one of those changes that happen to 99.9% of the population but a pain in the ass and the confidence just the same.

Take care everyone - stay well!! Beth

Hi David please feel free to pass on my details to her if you think i can help x