Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
SusanW #120718 08-20-2010 11:53 AM
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 711
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 711
Dragon, you have nothing to apologize for. We all (survivors, patients and caregivers) need to come here and rant now and then. We all understand and are greatful for this forum where we can rant and be understood.


David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
Deejer47 #120719 08-20-2010 11:58 AM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 2
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Offline
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 2
What about having a visiting nurse? I have a picc line too and I have weekly visits from a nurse to change the picc line dressing and take blood. She should also qualify for a home health aid. They can help her domestically like dishes, meals, getting dressed and bathed, laundry, etc. If you could get some help a few days per week, that would greatly alleviate your workload and stress.

Wishing you the best of luck.


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
ChristineB #120724 08-20-2010 01:34 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 43
Dragon Offline OP
Contributing Member (25+ posts)
OP Offline
Contributing Member (25+ posts)

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 43
The home healt nurse was horriable and ended up really doing some dameage to her head and causing alot of undue pain it was fixed but still


Let me be the lender of strength, wisdom, and heart. Let me be the one who helps you spread your wings.
Dragon #120734 08-20-2010 04:08 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 111
Senior Member (100+ posts)
Offline
Senior Member (100+ posts)

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 111
Hi dragon, i know what youre going through. i think youre just a bit younger than me but i cared for my mom for the last 2 years of her life (along with my stepdad).
i think its completely normal to feel the things you are feeling - youre not mad at your mom but the cancer for changing your life and your families life. when a family deals with cancer (or perhaps any illness) for a long time, i think it can make the family sick as well. sometimes i found myself thinking things i did not really mean..when her odor would get so bad or she couldnt stop coughing or when she would try to talk to me and i coudlnt understand her and shed get frustrated, i would just ask god, 'why wont you just take her now!!?' Of course I didnt really want him to. It just breaks us all down at times.
you have to still do some things for yourself. i would go out with friends on a friday or saturday just to feel some normalcy for a few hours.
your mom would want you to do the same..every time i kissed my mom goodbye shed tell me to have fun and to not hurry back.

id give anything to do it all over with her again, every ugly minute of it. so please enjoy every second you have with her, whether it be good or bad.


my mom, age 59.

12/08 surgery & 33x rad
4/09 recurrence
5/09 surgery & 35x rad
12/09 recurrence
1/10 surgery. peg tube, trach, fibula free flap
6/10 recurrence. double chemo treatments.
8/10/10 finally at peace in heaven
EmilyE #120739 08-20-2010 05:53 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 2
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Offline
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 2
Sorry to hear the aid didnt work out.


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
ChristineB #120743 08-20-2010 07:12 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 43
Dragon Offline OP
Contributing Member (25+ posts)
OP Offline
Contributing Member (25+ posts)

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 43
I took an hour for myself and when i came back it was like a miracle I could deal with it that and I found I have a few more people that are willing to help its a nice feeling to know someone cares enough to help to everybody you were right take the lil while to stay sane and you help everyone yahoo too all im back and ready to rumba


Let me be the lender of strength, wisdom, and heart. Let me be the one who helps you spread your wings.
Dragon #120744 08-20-2010 08:05 PM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 700
Likes: 1
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 700
Likes: 1
When my husband was sick, people offered to help. If you are getting the same offers, take them. People love to feel helpful. Things like picking up the mail, dry cleaning, groceries, getting the oil changed in the car, watching your baby while you do some running around, can make your life easier. Don't be afraid to ask those who have offered for help. If the visiting nurse didn't work out, call the agency for whom she is working and DEMAND (in a nice but assertive way) a different, more experienced nurse, Tell them the problem you had with her/him. They should be made aware of it. And good for you that you took some time for yourself. You have so much more to give when you put yourself first!

All the best--
Anita


Anita (67)
CG to husband, Clark, 78,
DX SCC 11/07, T4N0Mx, PEG 1/08, RAD, post rad infection 3/08,
HBOT 40 dives, ORN, Surg 11/09 mandibulectomy w/fibular graft.
Plastic Surg 4/10, 12/10, 3/11, 10/11, 4/12, 10/12. All PETS clear,
PEG out 1/11. 6/11 non union jaw fracture
Fractured jaw w/surgery 7/14
Aspiration pneumonia, PEG 7/21 still recovering
Dragon #120745 08-20-2010 08:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 201
Gold Member (200+ posts)
Offline
Gold Member (200+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 201
Woohoo!!! So glad to hear Dragon. Its amazing how even a few minutes to yourself doing something you like can change your thinking!!
Emily so well said. Even in your time of grief to come on here and still offer advice is so inspirational. You are still in my prayers. Hugs!!!


CG to Sister (42). Smoker quit @ diagnosis Dx 4/20/10 SCC T2N0M0, Rside of tongue Hemigloss R neck dis, all nodes removed 6/2/10, Trach and NG in, home 6/8/10,8/18/2010 start erbitux x6, 30 IMRT end 10/11/10 with only 3x erbitux due to reaction and one week off of rads
1/10/2011 Clear PET!!!
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Top Posters
ChristineB 10,507
davidcpa 8,311
Cheryld 5,260
EzJim 5,260
Brian Hill 4,826
Newest Members
Gilliland23, mricheryl, Pamj63, Sally_Canada, Al Z
12,897 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums23
Topics18,044
Posts196,287
Members12,898
Most Online458
Jan 16th, 2020
OCF Awards

Great Nonprofit OCF 2021 Charity Navigator OCF Guidestar Charity OCF

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5