| Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | Dragon, you have nothing to apologize for. We all (survivors, patients and caregivers) need to come here and rant now and then. We all understand and are greatful for this forum where we can rant and be understood.
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer. And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer. May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 5 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 5 | What about having a visiting nurse? I have a picc line too and I have weekly visits from a nurse to change the picc line dressing and take blood. She should also qualify for a home health aid. They can help her domestically like dishes, meals, getting dressed and bathed, laundry, etc. If you could get some help a few days per week, that would greatly alleviate your workload and stress.
Wishing you the best of luck. ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive | | | | Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 43 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 43 | The home healt nurse was horriable and ended up really doing some dameage to her head and causing alot of undue pain it was fixed but still
Let me be the lender of strength, wisdom, and heart. Let me be the one who helps you spread your wings.
| | | | Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 111 Senior Member (100+ posts) | Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 111 | Hi dragon, i know what youre going through. i think youre just a bit younger than me but i cared for my mom for the last 2 years of her life (along with my stepdad). i think its completely normal to feel the things you are feeling - youre not mad at your mom but the cancer for changing your life and your families life. when a family deals with cancer (or perhaps any illness) for a long time, i think it can make the family sick as well. sometimes i found myself thinking things i did not really mean..when her odor would get so bad or she couldnt stop coughing or when she would try to talk to me and i coudlnt understand her and shed get frustrated, i would just ask god, 'why wont you just take her now!!?' Of course I didnt really want him to. It just breaks us all down at times. you have to still do some things for yourself. i would go out with friends on a friday or saturday just to feel some normalcy for a few hours. your mom would want you to do the same..every time i kissed my mom goodbye shed tell me to have fun and to not hurry back.
id give anything to do it all over with her again, every ugly minute of it. so please enjoy every second you have with her, whether it be good or bad.
my mom, age 59.
12/08 surgery & 33x rad 4/09 recurrence 5/09 surgery & 35x rad 12/09 recurrence 1/10 surgery. peg tube, trach, fibula free flap 6/10 recurrence. double chemo treatments. 8/10/10 finally at peace in heaven | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 5 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 5 | Sorry to hear the aid didnt work out. ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive | | | | Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 43 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 43 | I took an hour for myself and when i came back it was like a miracle I could deal with it that and I found I have a few more people that are willing to help its a nice feeling to know someone cares enough to help to everybody you were right take the lil while to stay sane and you help everyone yahoo too all im back and ready to rumba
Let me be the lender of strength, wisdom, and heart. Let me be the one who helps you spread your wings.
| | | | Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 | When my husband was sick, people offered to help. If you are getting the same offers, take them. People love to feel helpful. Things like picking up the mail, dry cleaning, groceries, getting the oil changed in the car, watching your baby while you do some running around, can make your life easier. Don't be afraid to ask those who have offered for help. If the visiting nurse didn't work out, call the agency for whom she is working and DEMAND (in a nice but assertive way) a different, more experienced nurse, Tell them the problem you had with her/him. They should be made aware of it. And good for you that you took some time for yourself. You have so much more to give when you put yourself first!
All the best-- Anita
Anita (68) CG to husband, Clark, 79, DX SCC 11/07, T4N0Mx, PEG 1/08, RAD, post rad infection 3/08, HBOT 40 dives, ORN, Surg 11/09 mandibulectomy w/fibular graft. Plastic Surg 4/10, 12/10, 3/11, 10/11, 4/12, 10/12. All PETS clear, PEG out 1/11. 6/11 non union jaw fracture Fractured jaw w/surgery 7/14 Aspiration pneumonia 7/21, 10/22 PEG 7/21 Botox injections
| | | | Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 201 Gold Member (200+ posts) | Gold Member (200+ posts) Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 201 | Woohoo!!! So glad to hear Dragon. Its amazing how even a few minutes to yourself doing something you like can change your thinking!! Emily so well said. Even in your time of grief to come on here and still offer advice is so inspirational. You are still in my prayers. Hugs!!!
CG to Sister (42). Smoker quit @ diagnosis Dx 4/20/10 SCC T2N0M0, Rside of tongue Hemigloss R neck dis, all nodes removed 6/2/10, Trach and NG in, home 6/8/10,8/18/2010 start erbitux x6, 30 IMRT end 10/11/10 with only 3x erbitux due to reaction and one week off of rads 1/10/2011 Clear PET!!!
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