Thanks everyone for your words of encouragment. Last week was for what ever reason extra tough for me. I was down and tired and I don't know what else. But I have been spending more time here, and I guess, it must be helping me feel less alone. I am still afraid, and I guess I always will be but at least I know that I am not alone and I am going to try to spend more time here where people that can relate to what I am going through will help me to deal with my fears and my stuggles. God bless each and everyone one of you.

Wendy, Im so happy you are feeling better!!!! OCF is a close knit group. We are like a big family. Thanks for posting that you are feeling better.

Last year when you joined, I was in the hospital without internet access. I was there for 2 months. Some of my OCF friends came to see me. One special friend would visit every couple days. My hospital had e-cards on their website. I must have gotten well over 100 of them from all over the world. I would have my son read them to me when he came to visit. At that time I was too sick and wasnt able to pay attention enough to read them myself. It made me feel so special knowing I had so many OCF members praying for me. I still have all the get well cards I received.

Keep coming back and posting. You will form some wonderful bonds with other members. Maybe you will even be lucky enough to have some people in your area. I have several OCF friends in my area. Never know, you could have someone in your same town.

Hi Wendy,

Glad to know you are feeling a little bit better. I was wondering about the burning? When I get that it is usually a sign of thrush. It makes your mouth burn. It is something we all get due to the dry mouth. You might want to talk to your Dr. about it.

I use the shower to help with the Neck being stiff. I would stretch and turn my neck to help loosen it up. I still do this to this day.

Yes, it is hard to find the work arounds we all need. Yes, the new normal is work. I think we all have days when our side effects get to us. Some days are better than others, just tackle one problem at a time.

Hope some of this will help.
Take care,
Diane

I second what Christine said. I was out of pocket for two weeks not because i was sick, but because I was busy getting through the end of the year at school and I had members find me and one even called cause everyone was worried. It meant the world to me.

Wendy,
I'm sorry that you are having to deal with the fears, the unknowns, the "new normal", and all that goes with cancer. I don't dare claim to know how you feel b/c I haven't had oral cancer but I've watched my mom go through it several times over the last 5 years and I know how scary it can be. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers. Please stay on this website - people here give such great advice from their own experiences and I'm sure it will help you. Take one day at a time - you will be fine.

Nancy T

I have received many great cheer up letters and a few phone calls from the best support group in this small world. I am glad you feel better and hope you come here daily as I do, even if I just read others posts. Nothing makes my day until I come here for the 2nd and 3rd time just to read each day.

im tired of
constantly feeling heartbroken
worried for my mother
worried how she feels
worried about her fistula opening up wider each day
worried about how long its taking for surgery
worried that MD Anderson will say 'theres nothing we can do'
worried how long we'll have to wait to do surgery with her Dr at home if thats the case
worried if shes had her medicine
worried that shes fallen over while walking around the yard
worried that everyone morning when i go to check on her that she wont be alive
im sick of being away from home and sleeping on this crappy bed.
sick of my stepfather keeping me up every night with the tv b/c he watches it with the volume on FULL BLAST
sad that i planted a garden at home and now its all dead because i havent been home in a month
sad that every time i look at my mom i wonder if its going to be one of the last times. or one of the last times we say goodnight.
sick of calling ppl to make appointments and fax papers to prove she needs help.
sick of WAITING ON EVERYONE IN THE MEDICAL FIELD TO HELP US. That extends to even the idiots at the pharmacy. I feel like all we do is hurry up and wait for others.
sick of not having any help from family

sorry to hijack your thread wendy. it felt like it was good place to let it all out

Wendy and Emily I am hearing you. As a carer I can relate to you Emily but with watching Steve and what he is going through I can also understand what you mean Wendy. Don't you just get so sick of the entire thing. But what's the alternate? Give up. NO WAY. We'll all get there guys.

Yep I'm sick of it all and I hate cancer with a passion for all it's taken from us. But my boy is here with me everyday and when I have days where I am so over it I just have to think of him and how happy I am that he's still here with me.

Take care and keep fighting no matter how hard it gets some days. I have people say to me "I don't know how you two keep going". What choice do we have? We have to.

Wendy

Wendy I appreciate your post. I have a friend who each and everytime I speak with her it is a pity party. But she is healthy, her parents are alive, her kids are doing great, she has a successful business, huge amount of assets she has saved through the years. But her siblings are all retiring, her 6 figure income is down and things aren't great with her husband.
Your post put into prospective how very lucky both of us are.
And the Pity parties stop here.

Hi everyone,
I began my journey last September. I found this site and posted a couple times. I am not sure why (I think it was the drugs) but I just couldn't follow the threads and remember what I posted or how to find it. So I have gone through most of the last 10 months alone. That is without the support of others that have had OC. I think when I posted this I was so lonely, scared and depressed I just couldn't get beyond it. But since I have started comming here and sharing this experiance with people who understand I am feeling much better. I hate this disease, but hopefully if I stick around here, I don't have to feel so alone.

Thank you for all your support and care, I hope I can repay it eventually.
Is there a facebook page for this forum?