I need help
Well here is an update ..last Wednesday I was admitted to St Marys Hopsital in Amsterdam after having a minor stroke. Of course on the MRI they have found some other things -an infection in the left jaw which they aren't sure if it has to do with the cancer. and they found that I have a 2mm tonsillar ectopia in other words I have Chiari type I malformation which is a downward displacement of brain tissue, specifically the cerebellar tonsils. The Chiari malformation usually causes problems in adults

Headache
The headache which is associated with Chiari malformation generally begins in the neck, or the skull base area. The pain is generally described as sharp, throbbing or pulsating. Pain radiates throughout the back of the head, into the frontal areas and often around or behind the eyes. The headache may be brought on by cough, sneeze, bending forward or straining. Duration of the headache can last from minutes to hours. The headache may be associated with nausea, but usually not vomiting.

Dysphagia
Persons may report difficulty swallowing either liquids or solid foods, or a feeling of "catching" in the throat when attempting to swallow. The progression of this symptom may be rapid, suggesting the possibility of aspiration if undetected. If you have this symptom, your health care provider should be notified as soon as possible.

Pain
Persons may complain of neck or upper extremity (arm) pain. Often, the pain is worse with exertion, fatigue, or lifting. Pain can be described as dull and aching, or shooting and stabbing. Pain on one side is more commonly reported than pain on both sides equally. Along with the pain, some patients experience weakness of the hand or arm, or incoordination of fine movements of the hand.

Hoarseness
Changes in voice character and timbre is a common complaint. Hoarseness is often noted first by the person's friends or family members. Some persons will report inability to modulate the voice for singing or speaking loudly. Slurred speech has been reported, however, this is a less common complaint.

Numbness
Tingling, numbness or pins and needles (proprioceptive disturbances)sensation can also accompany the pain, usually in the same areas as the pain. Again, the numbness is generally on one side only. Numbness can progress over months to years to involve the lower extremities and trunk.

Visual disturbance
Persons may complain of various visual disturbances, from blurred vision to double vision (diplopia). Nystagmus (nis-tag-mus), or bobbing of the eyes is a common finding. This is often described by the person as "bobbing" of the eyes when looking downward or to the side . Difficulty driving or reading may be reported by the person, due to "blind spots" in the eyes. Some persons do not report any visual changes, and the nystagmus is noted on clinical evaluation.

Ataxia
Gait disturbance can be described as unsteadiness, or listing to one side. Persons may report falling, or bumping into walls or doors when walking. Infrequently, patients may present with spasticity (stiffness) of the lower extremities, which results in gait disturbance.

Syncope
Episodes of passing out or loss of consciousness are reported in the literature, however, this is a less common complaint. The episodes are unpredictable and brief, lasting from 30 seconds to 2 minutes, associated with loss of consciousness, and prompt, complete recovery. Drop attacks have been also been reported in the literature, however, less commonly in the adult population. There are generally no symptoms of seizure and no state of confusion after the event. Persons may also complain of occasional vertigo, without loss of consciousness.

Various other symptoms may occur, which may include- Nausea, vomiting, dizziness, dysequilibrium, nosebleeds, fast or slow heart beat, high or low blood pressure, ringing in the ears, hearing loss, depression, shortness of breath, and fatigue
Surgery is the treatment.

I am at my witts end and have cried for days and thought of doing horrible things ...as though the cancer isn't enough nor the strokes, nor the husband that says horrible things to me such as he is waiting for me to die so he can piss on my grave..PLEASE someone give me some ideas on how to find sanity. I cry and cry unitl the medicines put me to sleep, and then he bitches I am sleeping. This is all so new to me but I have been doing the cancer thing for 7 months. Now strokes and now this and ughhhhhhhhh.. I was ready to go back to work In Sept but now who knows. I think that is why Joe finds me unworthy because I dont work. I can't do divorce now and deal with all of this, I just cant ..I am in NO FRAME OF MIND..please some one help me ..tell me where to go or what to do .....I am losing my mind. I don't have any strength left in me I don't think.. for somone to tell me I am worthless as I don't work and all ..I want to go back to work and a LARGE part of me wants to LEAVE - but can I do it know now? With NOTHING and NO good health phyiscally or mentally. I fell today and I am all bruised. PLease tell me I can do this, and help me figure it out. The tears just keeep falling ...I am scared and scaring myself about doing something i dont wanna do.

sharlee - I wish you would see one of the social workers at the hospital about the situation with your husband. This needs some kind of intervention. Your cancer docs should be able to put you in touch with the consulting psychiatry department docs to help you get thorugh this, you shouldn't have to go through this without prfessional support and help. Please seek this out tomorrow and let us know what you find out.

Sharlee,
It sounds like your husband needs to find other arrangements while you take care of your medical needs. From one woman to another, if a man ever said something like that to me in my darkest times............he would be out the front door with a quickness. He has anger issues that have no place in what you need right now, so you need to distance yourself from him. What a cold man he must be.

I agree with Brian, get some professional help with this.
Minnie

Sharlee - I definitely agree with the above. You need to take care of yourself and get some help! Any mother at home taking care of 5 children is doing a superhuman job. And that is not even mentioning taking care of a house, a husband and volunteering. Making a decision like distancing yourself from this person is very difficult but you have to do it for yourself, your health and your sanity and for your children. So many women stay in a bad situation because they are afraid of the unknown and because it seems better to put up with the familiar as painful and horrible as it is and because "maybe he will change". I know, I stayed in an abusive relationship for 20 years with an alcoholic. I kept trying to "fix" him. You cannot change or fix anybody but yourself. So please do as Brian suggests and do it today! You are way too important to us and to your children and especially to yourself. The first step in making a change is the hardest but you CAN DO IT!

Shar: Is there a family member would could either take your kids for a little while, or could actually come in and help you out? This situation is (should be) about YOU, and YOU only!

After getting someone to help out with your kids, go check in to a battered women's shelter, if you must, to get OUT of this desperate setting! Go to the ER and tell them you're suicidal; I promise someone will help you! Just DO SOMETHING!

DO post and let us know what is going on...WE ALL CARE about you!

Lois

Oh Sharlee--you've been so brave and upbeat all this time--no wonder you feel so bad right now!

Take the advice already given---get help from the professionals.

We're all thinking of you!

Brenda

shar e-mail me anytime

love liz

I went to my counsler ..joe will not go ..however he is recomending that I go into more intense counseling at this time and that I need an anti-depressant. We will see ..my best friend has been with me the past 2 nights until 10 pm or so . I think when my mind is clearer and my health is better the reality of it is my marriage may be over ,,,of course I guess in some ways ii is now

Hello Sharlee

YOU MUST TAKE THE ABOVE GIVEN ADVISE NOW!

Most of us know our own personal stories besides the big "C" story. I must tell you that you must do what you need to do now. I hit rock bottom and found out that I must quit, ME, I, NO I, just I. On top of that very hard process I knew I could change my life.

I got the cancer and I still quit. I may die from cancer, but I am a sober man and I will die sober.

You must now GHANGE YOURSELF. Read the letter my wife wrote to You. This is too much for you to handle but with all of our support you can do this.

Call me, there is too much to say.

The lady is a certified therapist and she wants to help you.
My family loves me very much ad I did it FOR ME and them. Not one else would.
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Please call. We must talk person to person. I am not typing fast enough to keep a keyboard going and this is be beyond cancer. It is just something that Must be done now.

Please call me. Everything can be saved, but now you must save your family. If he won

Oh Sharlee - You are such a strong courageous person! I'm so glad you went to the counselor. Don't worry about whether Joe will go - think about YOU and taking care of your needs and your health. Thank goodness for best friends and that you've had someone with you. I'm sending BIG hugs your way.