| | Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 5 Member | OP  Member
Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 5 | I am really struggling with this idea of my husband going thru tx again. It brings back all of the terrible memories of tx spring/summer 08. Has anyone gone thru oral cancer tx a 2nd time? How do you handle knowing the pain and illness that awaits? When we went thru this before I was the caretaker for my husband as well as acting as a single parent to our 5 children and I did not seek any help. I know I can not do that again (it resulted in alot of poor decisions and mistakes) so here I am seeking advice and support from those who know. anything you can tell me would be appreciated. Thanks
48 year old caregiver to husband Rob, Nonsmoker,nondrinker and a past survivor of recurrent head and neck cancer. 3/2007 DX T2 N2b MX stage 4 Squamous Cell Carcinoma of oral Cavity. Tx right side neck dissection, radiation and chemotherapy completed August 2007.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 | Diane,
There is another side to this. You can use your experience and wisdom from the first go around to help you through this next phase. Start by lining up friends and family that can help with your children: transportation to and from school, meals, homework help, and time with friends. Most people are happy to help if asked.
Keep posting here to relieve the stress that will inevitably sneak up on you. And, most of all, be kind to yourself. Stay in touch with your friends. Find time to get away from it all even for a hour or two. You'll be better able to deal with everything if you are taking care of yourself.
I am sorry that you have to go through this again. Being the caregiver is so hard, but you can do it. I wish you the best.
Anita
Anita (68)
CG to husband, Clark, 79,
DX SCC 11/07, T4N0Mx, PEG 1/08, RAD, post rad infection 3/08,
HBOT 40 dives, ORN, Surg 11/09 mandibulectomy w/fibular graft.
Plastic Surg 4/10, 12/10, 3/11, 10/11, 4/12, 10/12. All PETS clear,
PEG out 1/11. 6/11 non union jaw fracture
Fractured jaw w/surgery 7/14
Aspiration pneumonia 7/21, 10/22
PEG 7/21
Botox injections
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 396 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 396 | i agree with anita. u know what u are going to need this time around from past experience. u also know how tough it is going to be, so try to prepare yourself mentally.
sorry about the reocurrance. hang in there. keep us posted.
Teresa
-----------
CG to ANDY. Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma (NPC)
T2N2cMxG4 stage 4. 43 @ dx 8/31/09
tx 9/21/09-11/06/09 cispatin/docetaxel/5-FU X3
PORT 9/9/09, PEG 12/07/09
35 IMRT-1/wk carbo 11/30/09-2/3/10
tx stopped due to complications
IMRT BOOST 3/08-3/12/10
PET 4/12/10 CLEAR!
PEG out 4/14/10
| | | | | Joined: May 2006 Posts: 720 Likes: 1 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2006 Posts: 720 Likes: 1 | Diane -- There is a section of the forum devoted specifically to recurrence. Start there to get information and to post your fears and concerns -- and you can and will get through this.
Leslie
April 2006: Husband dx by dentist with leukoplakia on tongue. Oral surgeon's biopsy 4/28/06: Moderate dysplasia; pathology report warned of possible "skip effect." ENT's excisional biopsy (got it all) 5/31/06: SCC in situ/small bit superficially invasive. Early detection saves lives.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 5 Member | | OP Member
Joined: Feb 2010 Posts: 5 | thanks for the words of encouragement. I am taking your suggestions and lining up help now so I'm ready for whatever happens next.My hubby and I are taking the time now to talk about how to best manage this next round. We did not have the knowledge to know what to expect before, now that we do we will be ready and more prepared.
48 year old caregiver to husband Rob, Nonsmoker,nondrinker and a past survivor of recurrent head and neck cancer. 3/2007 DX T2 N2b MX stage 4 Squamous Cell Carcinoma of oral Cavity. Tx right side neck dissection, radiation and chemotherapy completed August 2007.
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2009 Posts: 108 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2009 Posts: 108 | As you and your husband have gone through this before, you could give a few pointers to me as I'm still a newbie caregiver. In any new situation mistakes will be made but you learn from those mistakes. You may even teach the drs. a thing or two.
CG/Carol 57;SCC Stage IV L Tonsil T4N2bM0 12/2009
Recur 7/2010 - 2cm mass Invasive SCC L Floor Lower Jaw
Surgery 8/10 - Trach,ND,p. mandibulectomy,pec flap
ypT4aN0 HG Mucoepidermoid carcinoma
2nd Recur 1/18/11 - Tumor lower left lip
Surgery 2/9/11 - Canceled - Inoperable
3/29/11 - Died
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF across the pond" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,940 | Diane
none of us knows how we will ever get through watching someone we love go through this hell,but you know that you will and this time you have all of us to help.good luck xx
Liz in the UK
Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007
Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.
Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 1 Member | | Member
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 1 | I am a caregiver to my husband. When we went through this early 2007 I did not participate in this website, but I spent hours reading what others had to say. Well I am back again. We are waiting the results of the biopsy, however the ENT has predicted a return of the big C. When we left the ENT's office, my husband looked at me and said "Here we go again."
I have been numb all week, but I know I have to be strong. I am just amazed how friends have been calling me.
My husband and I are business partners, but I have told him his focus for the next year is to get treated and to heal.
I feel like I am just rambling. Please pray for strength for both of us. Thank you for letting me vent. Sally | | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Sally,
Vent anytime and I wish doctors would stop guessing and just wait for the path results like everyone else. They can only either give false hope or create unnecessary stress. If they ever turn out to be correct it was only a guess.
If you plan on posting more it's really helpful if you create a Signature Line so everyone can respond more informed about where you are in things.
You also may wish to start your own Thread so posts won't get mixed together and become confusing.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
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