| | Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | OP  Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 | Just thought I'd share some excerpts from a book I am reading
"What doesn't kill you makes you Stronger" (Turning Bad Breaks into Blessings) by Maxine Schnall.
[quote]I know now that this universal "Why Me?" when misfortune strikes is not really a question but a cry of shock and outrage at the unfairness of life. ...The Answer to "Why Me?" is YES. ...
Reframe loss as possibility. See yourself not as a Victim but as a Survivor. ...Let Go of Who you Were and Become More of Who You are. Acceptance means letting go- letting go of the way you have always been or thought your world would always be.
[/quote]
Thoughts for the New Year and New Decade
Charm
65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Passed away 4-29-13
| | | | | Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 109 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 109 | Stuff like that makes me angry, along with "think positive". It is a possibility, but a very limited one. It is easy to let go, except this sh/t is gnawing at you day and night, and even when you are distracted and let go for a moment, there is always something that thrusts you right back in. You can't let go when the clock is ticking. At least I can't. I'm trying though.
Here's to a much better 2010!
38 yo@dx, female, non-smoker, non-drinker, SCC right lateral tongue. T2N2aMx stage IVa; 1/20/09 bilateral neck dissection, hemiglossectomy, micromets in 2 right nodes, left all clear. 33xIMRT + 3 cisplatins. Tx completed 5/08/09. PET scan 7/29/09 clear, 5/26/10 clear, chest x-ray 5/23/11 clear
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 382 Likes: 3 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2003 Posts: 382 Likes: 3 | Jenka,
Sometimes you need the anger to fight back at this battle with cancer. I used that thought when I was up late at night batting away at the fear that would start creeping into my thoughts. Be angry if it makes you fight harder. It is a tough battle to be in. Peace from the fear lies deeper in your being. It is a tiny thought in the beginning of this fight, but the hope is always there that we'll win this battle! Good luck to you in 2010 - Kris
SCC Stage IV left tonsil neck disection 3/02 radiation finished 6/02 chemo finished 9/02
Stage 2A left breast cancer 3/09, chemo and radiation, finished treatment 2/7/10 -Stage 2 right beast cancer 10/14 chemo and radiation
Every day is still a gift :-)
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | Every post here is great and well thought out. Thanks for them all of you. You give me the extra courage I need.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 | Thanks for your post Charm. You know Im a big one for the positive thinking method. Thats what gets me thru the day. If I didnt think positively, I dont think I could deal with daily life. My life has changed so dramatically over the past 3 years that it greatly upsets me. The physical changes and what Im left with is enough to make somebody crazy. If I give in to feeling sorry for myself I will end up in the looney bin. Thanks for posting such a nice positive message to end 2009 with. Happy New Year to you!!!! May it bring good health and happiness to all 
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive | | | | | Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | OP Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 3,082 | Jenka Despite my positive thinking post on this forum, I know very well what you are talking about. If you check any of my prior posts, I have consistently complained about the "Tyranny of Positive Thinking". It's normal to be depressed and angry about this. Almost every book on Cancer portrays it as such a life enhancing & enobling "challenge" because nobody wants to buy a true & unembellished account of how terrible our ordeals truly are. You need to go the OCF Blog forum or the private blogs of Cancer patients to see that anguish. The one exception I have seen is the cartoon book: Cancer made me a Shallower Person Still, even more anger provoking because it's so unfair is that positive thinking is what you need here. Because in the end, Cancer survival is more of a MIND GAME, than anything else. Actually that helps me since I alwsys loved "mind games" and makes surmounting these obstacles almost fun (but not really). Finally don't forget about our anger/coping forum where I have a Don't You just hate it thread with over TWELVE THOUSAND views and 21 pages of posts. Let me end by emphasizing this is not a rebuke nor criticism (trust me - everybody on OCF can tell when I'm doing that  ) just an empathic response that I feel like you do each and every day - heck, I'd bet I'm more angry since I can not even eat or drink. Getting past that anger & regret is just another daily hygenic chore - like clearing out the choking mucous - or massaging the frozen neck scar - or using the Therabite to stretch the trismus- . We need to take care of both our body and our soul. You can do this. Keep the Faith Charm
65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Passed away 4-29-13
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 212 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 212 | Charm, you do amaze me. When I think I had a tough time I read your's, EZ Jim's, Christines et.al. and realize that you folks are the real troopers. Your attitudes and energy help me realize that each day gives us chalanges and WE can choose how to handel them.
I hope you have an especially good 2010!
Steve
70 male, athlete...again
SSC of undetermined orgin , early july 09
40 tx radiation, 8 chemo cisplatin and ebuterx
finished TX in mid Sept 09
Clear at the 6 year mark!
Back to swimming, biking and running! just a tad slower
never regained my weight, even when I eat lots and lots, just a skinny guy now
Just way glad to be seeing the green side up!
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