Teresa,

I feel badly that I can't help you. Does he just shut down when you try to get information from him or does he get angry? I'm trying to figure out why he won't let you understand more about what his doctors are telling him.

RX is generally used here to indicate prescription.
RT is the abbreviation for Radiation Treatment.

People treated for oral cancer don't generally get a one-day blast as proper treatment requires significant planning. To learn more about that process, you can review this page from the OCF:

http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/facts/radiation.htm

Perhaps you could use the information gleaned from this article to ask more specific questions of Brian?

Here's a site about someone who got cancer from dipping:

http://www.outdoortexan.com/mycancer.htm (warning re: graphic photos)

This is from a couple whose husband did not win the battle...Rich's plea is about getting people to stop smoking. If he was here, I'm sure Rich would want Jeff to stop dipping.

http://richsplea.synthasite.com (again warning re: graphic photos at he bottom of the site)

Please take a moment to understand how terrible, serious and deadly this cancer is. I wish you luck, courage and strength for you to help Brian.

Margaret

Margaret..that is great information!!

Teresa, I see this 2 ways. You can either say "if you are not going to take care of yourself, then fine" or you can understand and be patient. Both are hard...especially for you. Man...I would be so frustrated!!! Like Margaret said, I have never heard of a quick zap of radiation. It seems like his tx is all over the place which leads to me beleive he is not telling you everything. I'm not sure what you can do with someone like that.

Hello everyone. I am back with a new term and explanation - or looking for one - of what Brian has meant when he says it is in his blood now. I think the correct term is vascular invasion. Until this past Dr visit- it had not been detected in the blood vessels and now it is. Can anyone give me an explanation in terms of what this means as far as his cancer spreading. I know it spreads through the blood- but how high is that probabilty and does oscc have a place is spreads to more often when it does spread? I would think they would have done a PET by now, but he says they have not. Oh, and he did wear a mask, but says he was never fitted for one. Also said the Dr just moved the light around until he got it to where he wanted it. No marks or anything. Thanks for everyones input.
_________________________
CG SCC of lower gum. DX 6/09, SURGERY 7/09, MTX Started 8/09. Single RT treatment 8/18/09

Margaret...excellent info you posted.

Teresa, the more details people give, when explaining things, the more that there are fibs put in there along with the facts. If everything was as stated, then why arent you able to tag along to his doctors visits? Sounds like some contridictory info. Im sure its done out of love to spare you the worry. In order to help him he must learn to first help himself. Im so sorry that you both are going thru such a difficult time. Ignoring things wont fix them and in the end it will only make things worse.

Im sorry, I dont know anything about how it spreads thru the blood. Sending you good thoughts that your situation will improve and he opens up more.

Hi Teresa,
Get ready for the most challenging months/years of your life. I was my husband's caregiver for 4 years and 3 occurences of OC. I don't know about vascular invasion, but my husband did have Peri-neural Invasion or PNI, which is one reason his cancer kept recurring. I just lost him in June, which still doesn't seem real to me. We were married almost 25 years, and there is nothing harder. I am not the only caregiver on this site that has lost their partner to this horrible disease, and I'm sure there will be more. I just hope you won't be one of them. I think Brian needs to be kicked in the arse (as Liz would say), and I would not hesitate to do it if I knew where he lived! My husband was a big strong farmer when this hit him, and he lost everything. His ability to work, communicate clearly, and even ride his Harley at the end. If you are interested you can click on my name at the left and select homepage. I kept a blog about our experiences and also photos. Please tell Brian that if he loves life, he HAS to have the regular chemo/radiation treatment for OC. This is not a cancer to mess around with, or to take your time deciding a plan of treatment on. He needs the big guns NOW, there may not be a later.
Please take care of yourself!!!
Lori

Theresa:
I agree with everyone who has posted. Something does not sound right. First, you just can't try on a mask. The point of the mask is to keep you head from moving while doing radiation. If they didn't fit him for one, then how did he wear one as it's formed to your head???

I also don't understand about the light. Radiation does not have a "light". Plus as someone else stated, radiation is a planned treatment. The doctor's pinpoint where the radiation should be directed and they also try to save healthy tissue.
So it can't really be a one shot deal.

So, I would keep on asking questions. Get more information so that you can figure out what-is-what.

Good Luck. Please don't hesitate to ask questions.

Sandyst

Teresa,

Go to the main page--oralcancerfoundation.org and find the search box and enter vascular invasion. I am not familiar with the term, but from what I read, it does not sound good.

If you want him to have a fighting chance, you need to get involved in his care and go to his doctor's appointments. I know you said he doesn't want you there, but this is a life or death situation about someone you obviously care deeply for. It's selfish on his part to keep you at arm's length.

Even the un-stubborn patients often go armed to the doctor's with a 2nd set of ears. This is a complicated cancer. We've seen the best and most diligent patients die on this forum...rarely is there someone who doesn't give this their all because this cancer is a killer!

I don't feel like he's giving you enough information, or accurate information. Caregiving is a touch job, and you can't do the job if you don't have the facts. Teresa, if you want to help him, you have to figure out how to be at his appointments. Do you know if he going to a Comprehensive Cancer Center?

Last night was not a good night. It is like he has given up and has decided if he can make all of us hate him it will be easier on us in the long run. So our wonderful weekend consisted of sitting on opposite ends of the couch- no conversation- no nothing. When I did try to talk to him he would yell and scream at me that I did not have a life or a future with him- that I needed to just go on with my life and get over it. He finally did break down and apologize- but man are his emotions all over the place. The bad part is that at least I have an idea about what is going on-- the rest of his family that are enduring his being a tail don't have a clue why. Thanks so much for your support. Teresa

I feel really sorry for you and I can only imagine what it must be like having to put up with this irrational behavior. Seldom do we see someone willing to give up without at least going thru the standard rad chemo. I can only think of one since I have been associated with this site and unfortunately he decided to seek Tx after it was to late. It was a little more complicated than that and we all grew to love him but there's was little hope when he finally did srart getting the proper Tx. I don't envy you or him if that's what his final decision is going to be.

I am not familiar with the term vascular invasion either but I would say that chemotherapy coupled with radiotherapy would give him a fighting chance. Somehow he has to be made aware that if the doctors are willing to treat him with chemo and rads there is a good chance for recovery. He cannot give up! We won't let him give up. I wish that I could talk to him for five minutes on the telephone.

Connie