hi i am the girlfriend of a cancer patient. My name is Denise, He is 42 and they say he is now terminal his name is David.The cancer started as a small sore under his tongue 2007.They removed his teeth then he had 27 rad treatments and the cancer came back under his tongue.so they did radical neck disection. and put flap off cheek in floor of mouth. 10 more rad treatments. about 6 mo later it metasises in jaw and bone they take his jaw out and put metal jaw in and took a flap from chest to cover,the flap failed. then they tried to streach skin to cover hole it kept coming apart.he had to walk around with head held down to try to help flap take. now his head cannot lift to look up and it didn't work.They took out the metal jaw and they made a bar on the outside of face and this time they take a chest flap to cover hole . it didn't work either, it died. so they removed flap from shoulder, it wasn,t working and they had to put back on shoulder. now the dr tries to lift skin from the bottom of neck to cover hole underneath chin and used skin graft from leg to cover his chest. it did not stay together either.went to see vascular dr at Shands jacksonville. They said because cancer has spread in neck as a ct scan showed. Does ct scan show detail, are we sure it is all cancer ? I am unsure. They say he is not a candidate for surgery and now is TERMINAL. He also has infection in neck and alot of swelling that keeps going up and down. can these cause false images? he is on steroids and bendryl for swelling it helps, also on antibiotics.he takes alot of pain meds still not out of pain. cannot sleep at night has g tube, he's on jevity. i am his only care taker i change his bandages 3 or 4 times aday. the neck hole seems to be deeper now.
we need options he has "share of cost medicaid".He will not get medicare until april of 2010. he does not have primary care dr does not have cancer dr has the malfacial surgent he tried to save his life out of the goodness of his heart. we are looking at getting kemo now if we can find dr . i keep looking for alternatives.maybe if i keep the area clean and moist and the kemo shrinks the cancer they can reconstruct his face so he can have a good quality of life. I feel so bad for all he and i are going thru. and i love him very much i don,t want to lose him, he is too young. isn,t there something that we can do?
I have read a lot of post,and to those of you that have lost loved ones and to those who have survived and those who are still tring to overcome this my heart and prayer go out to you.
I know I have been thru so much. I'm going to tell you a little about me. Back in sept 2004 my daughter was killed in a car crash. She was 29 and had 4 children it was on her oldest daughters birthday. she was 9 that day. My only other child, Melissa took Angie's children and is raising them along with her 3 children.7 children, Oh my god. Angies children did not get social securty because Angie got SSD before aquiring enough work time.Times are really tough now. The kids live around the corner. I am always doing the best i can to help. in oct 2005 my husband of 18 years died. he had HCV.then got lymphoma and developed cirrosis of the liver. he then developed lung cancer and his body could not handle rad treatments.Then a month later Nov 2005 my father passed away from brain cancer. I am now with my husband's younger brother. we have known each other for a long time and we fell in love each other .IN 2007 their mom passed away from lung cancer we helped take care of her in her last days. I belive she enjoyed her last days with us.Then last year Oct 2008 my little chihuahua, areeba, who i've had for 10 years gets hit by a car on road, and passes away. I am so sad.
I have health problems too, i have a pacemaker (AICD), diabetes, stint in heart, stint in leg ,Thyroid eradacated, neropathy, other things too. There family calls me the rock of there family . I do not want to lose another loved one. It doesn't seem right. If something isn't done soon david will die.
Love to all of you. You are in my prayers.
Thank You for listening to me, Denise

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Maybe this is why I had rad seed implants put from under and thru my chin into my tongue. This is no fun either and I think much more then The Drs expected it to be on me. My tongue usually feels like the test board for strike it any where matches.

hi Jim, how are you? in the beginning during rad trearments the cancer Dr was going to do that and some reason changed mine. I wish they had of done that. maybe he might not be in this shape thank you for your reply. we are going to moffitt center next. Denise

Denise,

You have been through so much. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sophie

Denise,

Have you and David gone for a second opinion? I think you need to deal one issue at a time. First, David's health.

As far as everything you have been through...it's terrible. I can't imagine dealing with all of that, seems like too much for one person. Do you have anything that can help you with anything?

hi, david and I have been to shands jacksonville and now the moffitt center for his third opinion. they say the cancer has spread to far and now we are going to call hospice to get them involved. He's stillmoving around good has lots of pain.His neck is getting weak hard for him to hold up. They cancer breaks down your muscle and veins. We thought if we could someone to make a prostectic device to hold his head up. We've started taking a medcinail tea from billy rainwater We hope that is not to late. Thanks for listening Denise

Hi Denise,

My post is late, how are things now?

I haven't got much in the way of advice but just wanted to let you know I read your post and your story and am inspired by your fight.

Denise, He has been thru a ton of pain and treatmenst. One great thing is that he has you by his side which is to me abiut 1/2 of his fight, Your encouragment and a boost here and there go a long way Keep him with the gloves on and in the ready mode. Good luck to you both and that includes a lot of pryaers too. JIM

[quote=areeba88]
I have health problems too, i have a pacemaker (AICD), diabetes, stint in heart, stint in leg ,Thyroid eradacated, neropathy, other things too. [/quote] Denise, I don't know your age but, based on your boyfriend's age, you seem quite young to be having all those types of health problems! I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through with all these tragic events! You MUST be the rock of the family! Know that you and your boyfriend are in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and keep us posted.

hi Denise,
Just sending my prayers and thoughts.
Cecilia