Petey,
Do yourself a favor...take a DEEP breath. Now, take another one.

Call your Doctor, and ask him to prescribe something for your anxiety. You're not doing yourself any favors worrying as much as you are, and there are medications that will help you with the anxiety. You need to get that under control first, so that you can make rational decisions about your next step.

It is horrifying, terrifying, almost unmanageable. You can't fight the beast effectively unless you get ahold of your tension. You have to manage your fear and make the right decisions about your next steps.

Remember, we're all here to help...we've been down the path ourselves.
Wayne